


Show Biz: Act I

by kawaiiasfuuuck



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: AU, F/M, M/M, Romance, kpop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-20
Updated: 2014-09-14
Packaged: 2017-12-27 03:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 59,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/973625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kawaiiasfuuuck/pseuds/kawaiiasfuuuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A shroud of mystery surrounds the newest member of the Korean music industry. No one knows where he came from. All they know is his first name, Allen. The whole scenario sounds all too similar to the events of eight years ago, that ended in the death of the nation's biggest idol. And it's aroused the curiosity of everyone around him, especially one Kanda Yuu.</p><p>Just who is this kid? Why is he so hard to keep hold of? And with a crippling past...who will help him to start walking again?</p><p>(Rated T/M | Yullen)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***
> 
> J: So, explanations, yes? We adjusted the ages and time frames as we saw fit.  
> K: Because we're cool like that, and the story needs some flow.  
> J: SO here are the ages! Not in order of appearance. Listen well, cause we're only saying them once!  
> K: Allen is 17 (mainly).  
> J: Kanda is 19.  
> K: We made Mana and Neah identical twins (except Mana bleaches his hair) so they are 22(final) / 30(mainly) respectively.  
> J: Lavi is 18 (mainly).  
> K: Lenalee is 21, and Komui is 27.  
> J: Bak is 23, and Reever is 25.  
> K: Bookman is ancient...  
> J: And Cross is...is...wait how old is Cross!?  
> K: Let's leave that up to their imaginations, hm?  
> J: Deal. Are we forgetting anyone?  
> K: Nah, we're good, let's get this party started.
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING(S): Character death, guns, implied abuse.
> 
> NOTE from Karter: Hi, I'm currently in the middle of re-writing some chapters. No plot changes don't worry. My writing style has matured a bit, that's all. Everything that's been re-written already will have *** EDITED *** in the chapter notes. Sorry for the inconvenience and thank you for reading!

 

**Prologue:**  
 _In fair Tokyo where we lay our scene..._

If there's one thing to be said about Allen Walker it's that his love for music was the strongest, and rightfully so. After all, Mana loved it too.

Allen was a bright soul that was quickly covered in a layer of darkness. He grew up alone. An orphan abandoned in Japan by his young foreign parents. They were selfish, and ashamed of their child. They considered him a burden because of his poor health and strange appearance. His rust colored hair quickly turned a silvery gray after birth, due to a faulty gene. His eyes, a beautiful natural gray, lost their beauty when accompanied with pale skin and white hair. And his arm. The arm was what did him in, he supposed. The left one had been paralyzed since birth. The final stake that sealed his fate. When his parents unceremoniously dropped him off at the orphanage during a visit to Japan, they told the caretaker that they didn't want to bother with such a high maintenance baby. Before they could be held accountable they fled the country.

From then on, he was alone. Everyone treated him nicely enough, but children have a strangely accurate sixth sense. Allen could tell they felt awkward around him. He could feel the stares of the other children as they gawked at his hair and eyes. And every so often he'd catch people whispering that he was a cursed child. A ainted soul. A demon in child form. As he grew older, he slowly closed himself off from the cold world he lived in. That is, until his seventh Christmas. That was the day a true miracle happened.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

It was recess time at the orphanage. All the kids were outside, playing in the snow with their new toys either donated or bought with a bit of spare funding. Allen was a simple child though; all he asked for was a new ball. The orphanage had had a fundraiser to pay for his arm's surgery and therapy. Since it was progressing so well, the doctor had said it was time to start using it in everyday life. So Allen wanted a new ball for his new arm.

He was bouncing said ball against the wall when, all of a sudden, a man came sprinting round the corner. He looked about frantically until he spotted a female volunteer near the gates. Then he rushed over as fast as he could. Upon spotting him her jaw dropped as she pointed and squealed, "Y-you...! You're...y-you're...OH MY GO-!"

"Excuse me!" He interrupted, "Would you happen to know where 14th Studio is? I got lost and now I'm running late!"

"I don't know, but I have a computer inside! Follow me!" she said. Before he even had a chance to reply he was being dragged inside the gates and through the front door. Before she closed the door the volunteer looked around then called to Allen when she spotted him. "Allen, get this man a hot drink while he waits."

Without saying a word, Allen picked up his ball and walked past them towards the kitchen. "Ugh. I swear, that boy, I haven't heard him say a single word since I've been here...Anyways...I'll just...be a moment M...M-MANA!" she managed to squeak out before she ran to another room covering her face.

A minute later the man, MANA as we now know, was already bored.

_'How long does it take to look up directions?'_

MANA decided to go look for the boy who was supposed to get him a drink. He wandered the general way he saw the kid walk in - better than TRYING to find his way with his horrible sense of direction and ending up lost...again - and soon ended up in a kitchen-like area.

That's when he heard it.

Someone was singing. The voice was light and perfectly on pitch.

_'Beautiful...I wonder who is singing. They must be new, I haven't heard them before.'_

At this point, MANA walked around the corner and got the surprise of his life. It wasn't a radio or CD like he had thought, but the boy. He was singing while pouring hot tea into a cup.

 _'He's good,'_ MANA mused, "Really good," he muttered out loud without thinking.

As soon as the words left his lips, the boy stopped singing and snapped his head to where MANA stood. They were left in an awkward silence in which they just stared at each other – Allen with a slightly shocked look and Mana with a deer-caught-in-headlights expression – until MANA burst out laughing.

"Hahaha! That's a nice look on you face, Allen! I was starting to think you were made of ice, what with that pale, expressionless face of yours. It _is_ Allen, right?" he said with his usual polite bluntness.

Allen didn't respond except to stare and slowly hold out the drink for MANA.

"Ah, thank you. Not just for the drink, but for the lovely performance. You have talent, Allen," MANA told him earnestly.

Allen just blinked as a slight tinge formed on his cheeks. He knew he should say something. Thank the stranger for his kind words. But as usual, all he could do was look down at the floor in silence. Besides if he spoke up now he'd just draw even more attention to himself. He didn't want that...but...this guy. He was weird. Different. Wasn't he? A bit abrasive sure, but the vibe from him was so different from most of the people he'd encountered. Should he risk it? 

"...Th..." No. He couldn't do it. He couldn't do it. It was impossible. He couldn't even open his mouth for a whole syllable before panic clutched at his heart and his mouth snapped shut fast as lightening.

Silence followed as MANA frowned slightly. Setting down his drink, MANA slowly knelt to eye level with Allen, who was currently avoiding eye contact.

"It's alright."

His gentle voice drew a slight response from Allen. A small bite of his lip and shake of his head.

"It's alright," he repeated. "You don't have to force yourself, kid. But just know you don't have to be scared of me. I'd never think any less of you just for talking."

"Th...a..."

MANA stayed silent. letting Allen do as he pleased.

"Thank you," came a very quick mumble. MANA's mouth spread into a large grin.

"The first time you talk and you say 'Thank you'. That's a good start! I like you, Allen."

"...H...howd'youknow?" Allen asked quietly.

"Ah, and he's already asking questions! Soon you'll be talking up a storm! I shouldn't have said anything," MANA joked as he ruffled Allen's hair. But it was only there for a split second before it was smacked away.

"Don't touch me, geezer."

"Geezer!? How rude! I'll have you know that I'm only twenty!"

"Yeah, well-!" then Allen covered his mouth abruptly as if barely discovering that he was talking freely with a complete stranger. He lowered his voice and said, "...You don't think I'm weird? The others do."

"What...? You mean...your hair? Of course no-"

"Lying. You're lying. Don't lie. Don't pretend to be nice. Everyone keeps forcing themselves to help me. It's their _job_."

The words that he'd bottled up burst from his mouth. He didn't know how or why he was saying all of this. To a stranger at that. Maybe it was because he was a stranger that it made it easier to say. But one thing was for sure, the amount of bitterness coming from that young mouth both surprised MANA. But more than that it scared him. He was scaredfor this small trembling child in front of him that was barely holding back the tears pooling in his crystalline eyes.

"...Hey, now...Hey," MANA called gently, reaching out to put a hand on Allen's shoulder. The boy flinched away, a small spark of fear in his eyes as he stared at MANA's hand. MANA remembered Allen slapping his hand away earlier too...a quiet unsettling feeling began to twist at the bottom of his stomach. He retracted his hand, but continued talking. "What happened. What do you mea-"

"Have you seen his hair and eyes? Creepy! I feel like I'm with some vengeful ghost whenever I'm around the kid. He doesn't even talk!" a male's voice came from around the corner.

"I know how you feel. Ugh, and I had to stand with a sign in the freezing cold just to get that kid a doctor. But I got extra hours for that, so whatever. Now where did MANA wander off to?" a second voice, the female volunteer, joined.

Upon hearing the voices, Allen's jaw tensed up again. His breathing became shallow. He felt a hand on his shoulder and was about to pull away...until he saw the look of anger on MANA's face. Not directed at him, but burning into the doorway that led to the hall. He let himself be pulled behind the man protectively.

Allen didn't say a word as two people rounded the corner and stepped into the kitchen. The two volunteers noticed MANA but must not have seen Allen behind him.

"Ah, MANA! There you are! I printed out a map for y- AAH!" she screamed. Allen didn't know when, but MANA had picked up his hot tea again, and poured it on her head. He tok the map from her, looked both of the shocked volunteers in the eyes, and said:

"People like you make me _sick_."

He pulled Allen down the hall leading to the front as he took a business card out of his pocket that he placed on the desk for a surprised secretary.

"Oh! Oh my gosh! You're-!"

 _'Funny, everyone has the same reaction. Who is this MANA person?'_ Allen thought curiously.

"Yes. I know quite well who I am. I just stopped to tell you this kid is coming with me. Mail the forms needed to the address on the card. I'm in a hurry, so I'll fill them out later and send them back."

"EH!?" Allen exclaimed, shocking the secretary, "Y-you're _what?_ I'm what!? Why? Hey listen to a person when they're talking to you! Hey, I just met you and- hey!" Allen's questions and remarks slowly faded away as Allen was swept out by Mana, leaving the shocked secretary behind.

"...He...He talked," she whispered incredulously. Then a small smile graced her lips.

"Merry Christmas, Allen."

_ xxxxxxxxxx _

"Good thing it's not too far from here or I'd be in trouble. No taxis are running thanks to the ice on the roads. Here, Allen, bundle up," MANA said as he handed Allen his scarf and gloves.

Allen took them then asked suddenly, "Who are you?"

The question made MANA stop.

He turned and stated, "I'm Mana Walker. But most people only know my...uh... _alias._  MANA."

"No not your name. _Who_ are _you?_ " Allen asked again, stressing the meaning behind the question.

"Ah, smart boy," Mana chuckled. "Don't worry, you'll find out pretty soon. Just know that I'm not a bad person, though I may seem suspicious now. I'm actually glad someone doesn't know who I am. That way my first impression is that of a normal human being...uh, well, relatively normal. I see you've taken to asking questions?"

"Well, I didn't really get to before," Allen said, sensing that Mana wanted to avoid the topic. "...Why? Why are you doing this for me?"

Mana slowed his pace a bit, and spoke softly.

"Because I was like you. Young, but forced to grow up fast. No one to turn to, no one to talk to, no one to live for, until someone came along and gave me all that. If I had abandoned you there, it would have been like abandoning myself. And Allen, I don't know why, but I've grown rather attached to you. If I had a son someday, I always pictured him being like you. Bright and outspoken, when given the chance."

"How do I know if you're even telling the truth? I can't trust you!" Allen shouted, backing away from the man. "I can't trust anyone! You're probably just like them...like all of them...everyone..."

Mana knelt down so his eyes were level with Allen's.

"Listen to me. I want you to forget about those people. I want you to wipe them from your memory."

"I can't. I can't. Impossible. They're stuck inside me. I-"

"Ah ah, stop right there! Alakazam! Abracadabra! Bippity Boppity Boo! Presto!" Mana suddenly exclaimed as he waved his hands this way and that shocking Allen into silence.

_'Weird. This guy is weird. He's crazy.'_

Mana's gaze locked Allen in place. "There, it's done. Now you're newly born. I need to give you a name."

At this point Mana, slowly so as not to surprise him, pulled Allen into a snug embrace. The gentle nature of the touch threw Allen off. He was too confused and shocked and numb to do anything but flow into it.

"Hello, Allen Walker. I'm your father," Mana whispered as he pulled back, "And I promise, I'll always be there for you. As long as you make a promise to me, okay?"

He couldn't breathe. Couldn't speak. But it wasn't because of panic this time. It was because he was happy. Dare he be happy? Was it allowed? But he was, nonetheless. Tears flowed down his cheeks, stinging as their trails dried in the cold. And Allen flung himself at Mana. He clung to the first person to ever show him this pure, deep, unconditional love and sobbed into his shoulder. Mana didn't move; only tightened his embrace, slowly rubbing Allen's back, and humming a soft melody under his breath until Allen's breathing became more steady.

"Are you ready to hear the promise now?"

Allen nodded slowly, wiping away tears.

Mana smiled and stood up. Then he grabbed Allen's hand in his own and said, "Keep walking."

"H...uh?"

"Keep walking. No matter what, you need to keep walking forward. Can you do that for me?"

Allen wiped his tears away and smiled up at the man. At Mana. At the only person he had ever known that he might, someday, feel comfortable calling family.

"It's a promise."

_ xxxxxxxxxx _

"So where are we going?" Allen asked while being tugged along by Mana, adjusting the too-big gloves on his hands and wrapping the too-long scarf another time around his neck.

"It's called 14th Studio. You could say it's my place while I'm here in Japan."

"...You mean...you don't live here? What!?"

"Bingo. I'm from Korea, although I was born in England."

 _'England...What are the chances...'_ Allen thought off-handedly.

"So...will we be going to Korea soon?"

"Ha! Nothing fazes you, huh, Allen? Yes, we'll be going to Korea after this."

"I don't know Korean."

"I can teach you."

"...What're you going to do at the studio?"

" _That_...is a surprise. Besides, you'll see soon enough. We're here!" Mana said as he gestured to the large building they had stopped in front of. Allen gawked at the magnitude of the structure. When the man had said studio, he'd thought it was...like...a small art studio or something. This was out of this world, several stories tall with a lobby fit for kings, but Mana was acting like it was no big deal. Just who was he? "Whew, any longer and my manager would have killed me. He's your uncle, by the way, you'll meet him later. Come on. Let's go!"

_'Uncle? I'll have an uncle...'_

It was all so much to take in but he was too caught up in Mana's pace to give it much thought.

Allen followed Mana into the building, where he started to explain the situation in hushed tones to a security guard. They kept looking at him then looking away, making Allen feel uncomfortable.

"I..." hestarted, wondering if he should speak. But today was a day of broken molds. And he felt his voice burst its way up from his chest. "I can see you guys you know, stop staring," Allen finally commented with a huff.

They both looked at him then Mana smiled and the guard started laughing.

"You sure know how to pick 'em, Mana! You're right, he is jus' like you when you first started," the guard chuckled. "Well, go on in. Nothin' can stop you once you've made up your mind. Are you sure though? You're young, man, and a kid's a big responsibility."

"I've never been so sure in my life," Mana said easily, making Allen feel flustered.

"Ha! Well alright, then go on through. Neah's gonna have your head for being late."

Mana paled a bit then waved goodbye as they continued down a long hallway with several rooms. Some had small golden stars with names and others didn't. Then they got to one in the middle of the hallway with a huge golden star with Mana's name on it.

Mana opened the door and took Allen's hand to lead him in. That was when Allen noticed…

"Say, why do you only paint your left nails black?"

Mana glanced down and replied, "Ah, my manager says it's part of _the look_. Why?"

"Just curiOH MY GOSH," Allen finished in shock as he laid eyes on the room. It was huge. It had luxurious looking sofas and chairs and a long counter with mirrors and bright lighting on the far wall. There were clothes racks everywhere filled with magnificent clothing in all styles imaginable. Mana picked Allen up – not without a few protests – and plopped him down on the couch.

"Nice, right? Wait here; I'll bring you something to eat."

"Food?" Allen said, suddenly sitting up straight.

"Look at you! Don't give me those puppy dog eyes I can't take it. Yes, _food._ Sustenance! I'll be right back."

Mana walked out and, sure enough, soon returned with a...oh God even platter couldn't describe how big this plate was. And it was full of nothing but-

"Dango time!" Mana shouted in glee, setting it all down in front of Allen.

The boy just stared in apprehension. "You expect me to eat all that?"

"You're a growing boy aren't you? If there's one thing I know how to do it's feed a person! I'll help finish it if need be, but for now shove it down your throat . With vigor! Now eat up; I'm going to start getting ready," Mana told him as he walked towards a clothes rack.

"…Well...here I go."

And so Allen ate...and ate...until his stomach was distended. Then...he ate some more. Finally, he finished the last bite and plopped back on the couch.

"I never…want to see…another…dango…again. Uuuuugh."

Mana walked back in time to hear his last statement. He was dressed in an all white outfit. A perfectly pressed white suit, white boots, and white tie. The only bit of color in the outfit was the blue shirt. He had been adjusting his silver cuffs when he heard what Allen said. A hearty chuckle rumbled in his chest.

"Ah, you'll change your mind. Dango is the food of life. Anyways, I should head to the studio room. Neah, will kill me if he walks in and-"

Just then, the door crashed open and someone stormed in.

"...too late."

"Mana! Where have you been!?" a man who looked just like Mana, but with darker hair, said in a rage, "I come back from running around looking for your lost ass, and then I get here and the guard says you're in your room and I'm 'in for a shock'. Do you know how worried I- Mana who's the kid?" Neah deadpanned as soon as he noticed Allen.

"He's my son," Mana answered casually, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"..."

"...?"

"...your...WHAAAAAAT!?" Neah screeched incredulously.

"Well, not officially. The documents should be arriving at your office in a few days," Mana continued like the outburst never happened.

"Mana," Neah said seriously, attracting Mana's attention, "This is by far the most outrageous thing you've ever done. We're going to discuss this. Now. If you can't give me a good reason, then the kid goes. Understand?"

"Neah! He's not a pet. We can't just kick him out."

"Understand?" Neah said more firmly.

Both of them stared at each other, resolute in their decisions. Then Mana replied bitterly:

"Fine."

He followed Neah outside, but not before smiling gently at Allen and giving him a little wink.

The door closed and Allen was left alone in an awkward silence.

 _'What's going to happen to me now?'_ he thought.

_ xxxxxxxxxx _

A few minutes later they both came back in. Neah looked Allen in the eyes for a long moment, then looked down and sighed.

"Alright kid, you can stay."

Allen immediately smiled in relief. "Really?"

"On one condition," Neah continued.

 _'I knew it was too good to be true. He'll probably have me do something impossible, and then kick me out. I'll have to go back… '_ Allen thought solemnly.

"W-what…what is it that I have to do?" Allen asked Neah hesitantly.

"Sing."

The silence rang throughout the room before allen started flailing around.

"Excuse me, what? I…I can't I mean-"

"It's alright, Allen. I believe in you, or else I wouldn't have let him do this," Mana told him.

Allen looked at Mana one last time, silver meeting a piercing hazel in a moment of understanding. Mana wasn't lying. There was no tension in the man's stance. And in his eyes Allen saw absolute trust. Rather than being daunted, he felt honored. No one had ever trusted him before. And there was no way he was going to fail the first to do so. Allen built up his courage...and started to sing. As the soft melody flowed around the three, Mana's smile grew even wider.

"That's my boy."

_ xxxxxxxxxx _

As soon as Neah and Mana exited the room Allen rushed to the door to hear what they were saying. He pressed his ear into the wood to make out the voices on the other side. He heard a single word escape from Neah's lips.

"Wow."

"What did I tell you?" said Mana, "He's got talent."

"Yeah, my new nephew is amazing," Neah said without hesitation.

"You...you were never really planning to kick him out in the first place were you!"

"Course not, do you think I'm heartless? I figured there had to be a reason, and this was the quickest way to find out."

"You-!"

"Come on, let's go back in and tell him he can stay."

 _'Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Wait, shoot I need to get back to the couch!'_ Allen thought as the doorknob started to turn.

_ xxxxxxxxxx _

"I'm sorry I had to test you like that, kid. Mana told me your story. Let's just say it brought back some memories… He also said that your voice was what first made him like you. I wanted to hear it for myself," Neah told Allen as he led him through the halls of the 14th Studio.

"Allen."

"What?" Neah asked as he heard the small voice behind him.

"My name. It's Allen."

"Ha! Mana's right; you're a lot like us when we were younger. Once you're on a roll you just keep going, don't you? Well _Allen_ , here we are," Neah said as they reached their destination. The studio room.

Mana had left after telling Allen that he was definitely staying with him, then ran off to the studio room to "get to work" as he had told Allen.

"So what exactly does Mana do? He must be someone important right? I don't much about stuff outside the orphanage…Is he famous? He has his own room in the studio and everything."

"Mana is amazing. He's the biggest star in Asia and Europe, and he's getting big in America, too. His songs are dynamic, beautiful, and you won't find a soul in Korea that doesn'y know the lyrics to his songs. He writes all the parts to his songs himself. Since his debut, he climbed his way up to the top. Once he got number one, he stayed there. Do you know how hard it is for a solo artist to do that? Impossible they said. But he did it. You could say he's a once-in-a-generation musical genius."

"Mana…is really that great? How did he even notice someone like me?"

"Well, you tend to stand out!" Neah joked, but he quickly grew serious. He looked away awkwardly and kept talking, "And…and we're like you. We have no parents. Well we do...somewhere. They abandoned us on a trip to Korea when Mana and I were five. We were in the streets until a small company scouted us for modeling. We had good genes. We were lucky. Simple as that," Neah joked, though the smile soon slipped from his lips. "Once we got big, we went independent. And now, here we stand...So, are you ready?"

"Ready? For what?" Allen asked as Neah walked towards the studio doors.

" _This._ "

The doors swung open, and Allen was blinded.

There were lights everywhere, cameras at every possible angle, fog effects, music playing, and in the middle of it all was Mana. Shining like a star. He was amazing. His body twisted into flips, turns, slides...and his voice. My God, his voice was like an angel's. Going from high to low in a beautiful symphony. To Allen, it was the most perfect thing he had ever seen.

That's probably the one moment when Allen truly believed in a higher power. For what else could create someone so amazing?

_ xxxxxxxxxx _

"Father, where do I put this?" Allen asked as he moved a box into the living room.

"Ah, that. Unpack those onto the table there," Mana told Allen as he finished arranging books on a bookshelf.

The contents of the box turned out to be scented candles. Once he was done arranging them, Allen looked around his new home and smiled.

Mana stopped what he was doing to look. "You've been smiling more often, Allen! It's so cute~!" he teased, "Aaah, my cute little son! Who could be more adorable than you~!" Mana continued as he went to smother Allen with his love.

"F-Father! Please stop!"

"No! Don't wanna!" Mana said stubbornly, refusing to let go as Allen dragged him around trying to get loose.

"Ack…Uncle! He's at it again!" Allen cried for help.

Neah stopped hanging pictures in the next room and walked over to see what his stupid twin was doing now. When he saw what was going on he sighed and went to help pry Mana off before he strangled the boy.

_ xxxxxxxxxx _

"A tutor?" Allen asked Mana, thinking he hadn't heard correctly, "What about school?"

"Yes, well, your situation is a bit different. This is something your Uncle and I have agreed upon completely for three different reasons. One, we don't want the press to drag you into this mess. Two, we don't want people taking advantage of you, or for you to get hurt."

"Yeah...I understand. And the third reason?"

"Obviously, we want our little Allen all to ourselves!" Mana said as he tried to snuggle Allen again.

"Oh no you don't!" Allen laughed.

_ xxxxxxxxxx _

"Your birthday is coming up soon, Allen. What would you like?"

Allen sputtered on his hot cocoa. He'd just been thinking about something he wanted - though it wasn't because of a birthday or anything like that - and it felt like his father had read his mind or something. Incidents like this had been happening a lot, with increasing frequency. It's one of the things that had made them so close so quickly.

Allen wiped his mouth before replying, "I….I don't have a birthday. We used to celebrate all together once a year."

"Of course you have a birthday! It's on Christmas, the day I met you!"

Allen was stunned for a second, then smiled a large, happy, content smile and said, "In that case, I want a new ball."

"Hmm...I think you can do better than that. How about a juggling set? I can teach you ho-oof! Allen, what-?"

"Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!"

_ xxxxxxxxxx _

"Happy eighth birthday Allen!" Mana and Neah said together as they twirled sparklers and popped streamers in Allen's face. As the colorful strands floated through the air, he wondered if this is what going to a circus must feel like. All joy and colors and warmth.

He smiled a true smile.

_ xxxxxxxxxx _

"Piano lessons?"

"I saw you watching me while I played last time. You looked interested. Do you want to learn?"

"Y...yes!" Allen replied immediately, leaning forward eagerly.

"They'll be private of course. I'll teach you myself. People know I adopted a son so they would swarm all over you the minute you stepped out..." Mana said with a sad smile.

"Yeah...I know." Allen replied in a melancholy tone. He shook it off and asked, "So, when do lessons start?"

Mana looked at him a gave Allen a lop-sided smile. "Right now, if you'd like."

_ xxxxxxxxxx _

Allen woke up in the middle of the night to hushed voices in the dark. He rubbed his eyes, wrapped his blanket around him, and got out of bed. He followed the voices, curious, and arrived at Mana's bedroom door.

"...close call today, Mana! You're just fucking lucky I told the guard to go with y-"

"I'm fine, Neah. Nothing happened to me-"

"That's not the poin-!"

"Shhh! You'll wake up Alle-"

"Father?" Allen interrupted, naive to the situation at hand, only knowing that he didn't really like the sound of their voices. Quiet shouting. Whispered secrets. It felt off. The twins whipped around to face him, immediately halting their argument. "Father aren't you tired? What's the matter?" Allen asked in a sleepy drawl, his half-awake mind only knowing that he wanted to help if there was something wrong.

Neah suddenly looked very very tired. He sat dejectedly on the bed, head in his hands, and Mana crossed over to Allen. He knelt down and pulled Allen into a sudden, tight embrace. "Nothing, son. Daddy's fine. Come on, let's get you back to bed."

_xxxxxxxxxx_

"Watcha watching?" Mana asked Allen, who was looking at th TV screen with googly eyes.

"N-n-nothing!" Allen squeaked in surprise, fumbling for the remote, which Mana held captive.

"Oh, Song Jihoo?" Mana asked, curiosity piqued. He could have sworn Allen looked a bit love-struck. "Are you a fan?"

"Ah, um, not really..."

"...You know, he's only a couple of years older than you. One of the nicer child stars if I say so myself."

"Right!? He's nice and polite and cool and-" Allen suddenly squeaked.

"Aha! I knew it! You are a fan!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Why're you so interested in him then? Hm?"

"I...I dunno...he's..."

"He's...?"

"Kin...da...cute..."

"...Is that all?"

"Isn't it...weird to think?"

"Why would it be?"

"We're both boys...it's gr-"

"Allen," Mana said firmly, "Allen it isn't."

"But they said-" Allen began, but quickly shut his mouth, eyes going wide.

"...They...?"

"..."

Mana already knew who 'they' were. Whenever something like this happened, it was always the same 'they' that Allen was scared of.

The people from the orphanage.

"Allen...Look at me."

The boy looked up, small tears in his eyes, afraid that he'd said something wrong.

"Shh, don't cry. Don't cry, Allen. It's fine to like another boy if you're a boy. Others may try and tell you otherwise, but don't listen to them. Alright? You're not gross. You could never be gross just for liking someone."

"R...really?"

"Yes really, you silly goose."

"Okay," Allen sniffed. "Love you."

"I love you too, son."

_xxxxxxxxxx_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_"No..."_

** xxxxxxxxxx **

_ xxxxxxxxxx _

"You're turning nine soon Allen! Do you want anything special? Not another ball again I hope!"

"Oh...um...I don't really need anything..." Dammit, he'd been caught thinking about it again.

"Ah but you _want_ something, don't you? Tell me. This is one of the only days you let me spoil you so tell me anything you want, and I'll get it for you."

"I..." The boy bit his lip.

"Yes~?" Mana coaxed.

"I'd really really like...myownpiano," Allen rushed, afraid to be asking for something so expensive.

Mana stared at him for a moment before his light peals of laughter filled the air.

"Is that all?" Mana said, surprising Allen, "Allen, listen to me," Mana told him as he sat next to him on the couch. He slung a strong arm around his son's shoulders and hugged him slightly before continuing. Sounding a bit airy, he said, "You need to love what you love, and who, without any restraints. Don't do anything unless you want to, and don't make anyone do what they don't want. If you live life true to your heart, and have someone you can trust with all your being, then I promise you that everything will be okay in the end."

Allen hugged his father and told him, "I love you, Mana."

Mana smiled gently down at his son and whispered, "I love you too, Allen. I love you so much, my amazing, beautiful, gifted boy...Now, finish your homework, do your arm exercises, and then we'll get you off to bed."

_xxxxxxxxxx_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_"Wait...stop..."_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_xxxxxxxxxx_

"So how about we go piano shopping tomorrow, eh? I know it's a day early, and it'll ruin the surprise, but the shops will be closed on your birthday," Mana told Allen.

"No, Mana, it's fine. Besides, I stand out too much. That's why I don't go outside that often," Allen said.

Mana sighed and scratched the back of his head. "Allen, I know I normally say you shouldn't go out too much, but this is your birthday we're talking about. It's horrible to keep you cooped up. Besides, if you don't mind, I have an idea," Mana replied as he pulled out brown hair dye and contacts along with a maniacal smile.

Allen just looked at him for a second, before he broke into an identical grin.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_"Don't...! Mana..."_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_xxxxxxxxxx_

"Aw, come on, Neah! Just this once," Mana begged his twin, hands clasped earnestly in front of him.

"I said _no_ , Mana. That's final!" the other snapped.

"Please?" Mana threw in desperately

"It's too dangerous. You already had one close call, and the guy is still on the loose!" Neah shouted in frustration.

"That was _months_ ago! Neah, please, it's the day before Allen's birthday. He won't even get to go outside on the actual day...so please, just this once. Let me go out alone just this once. No guard, just me and my son, okay? If not for Allen, then for me." He knew that last part was a bit of an underhanded tactic - Neah and him were almost like one person. They'd do anything to make the other happy, and Mana knew that - but he wanted this more than he could properly express.

"...Fine. But just this once."

Allen stood guiltily outside the doorway, eavesdropping. _'What close call?'_   he thought.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_"No..."_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_xxxxxxxxxx_

How had it all gone so wrong?

That morning, after dying Allen's hair and putting in the contacts, Mana had made a big fiasco out of the change - "Huh? Where did Allen go?" "Hello strange lad have you seen my son?" - then he'd also put on a disguise. He'd had donned some old, average clothes, glasses, and a medium length black wig to cover his bleached sandy hair. They had walked around a few shops. Laughed. Enjoyed themselves. But after ordering the piano at the store a strange man stepped out of an alley. Mana immediately pulled Allen behind him just in case and asked, "Can I help you?"

"Sweet dreams little pop star."

A deafening bang and the world seemed to stand still.

The man had shot Mana.

He _shot_ Mana.

Allen stood there in shock, watching as a deadly crimson flower bloomed on Mana's back. Mana collapsed into a heap, clutching at his chest, and Allen's knees gave out as he reached out to his father.

"Ah..." Allen choked out as tears started running down his face, "Ah...ah ah Mana! _Mana!_ " he cried as he held his father's head in his lap.

"A-Allen..." Mana whispered. He put up a trembling hand to his chest, pressing weakly, but his life was seeping out too quickly for anyone to stop it.

"Mana! Don't! Don't leave me! Please, _please_ don't leave me alone! I don't want to be alone again...please... _Mana!_ "

"So...rry..."

"Don't...be..." Allen's voice broke. He didn't want to hear "I'm sorry"s. He wanted someone to pop out and yell "Psyche!" For someone to tell him it was all a cruel joke or test. Anything to stop this. To make it end. To halt the horrible shaking that made him feel as if he was going to fall apart.

He was drenched in blood, he knew, even though he was too numb to feel the liquid soaked into his clothes and pooling on the ground around them. He stared through his tears at the hole in morbid fascination. So small...how could something so small ruin everything in a single moment? It wasn't fair. Not one bit.

"Allen...I l-love...you...." Mana breathed. "N-n-never forget. I...lo..."

"I love you, too, Mana...Mana? _Mana._ Mana! Mana, _no!_  No, _please!_ " Allen sobbed uncontrollably as he refused to accept that the only one who had ever loved him unconditionally had just died in his arms.

Mana Walker. His _father_. A good brother. An idol. A hero...he was dead. Just like that. In a matter of minutes.

"Ah, I hate to interrupt kid, but it's late. You don't want to wake up the entire neighborhood now do you~?" the murderer cooed as he walked menacingly towards Allen, who was still calling Mana's name hollowly.

"Tsk tsk tsk, we can't have that now... _can we?_ " he suddenly growled as he pulled out a dagger and grabbed Allen. Then he started to drag him away from Mana's body and towards the alleyway.

"Mana!" Allen yelled with new vigor, desperately kicking and scratching, "Mana! NO! LET ME _GO! MANA! NO, MANAAA! MANAAAAA!_ " Allen kept yelling all the way until the blade pierced his skin, and everything went black.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_"Mana! NO!"_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_xxxxxxxxxx_

_"This just in. It brings me great sorrow... to report that this country's pride, motivation, and inspiration, the musician MANA... has died, late last night. He was accompanied by a small boy of nine who is believed to be MANA's adopted son. MANA took one b-bullet to the chest and died of blood loss shortly there after, before either the authorities or medical teams could arrive on the scene. The boy, who's name will remain undisclosed by request of his new guardian Neah, is currently in critical condition due to severe blood loss from several deep cuts to his face and also broken bones from blunt force trauma. The culprit has been caught. It is unknown at this time what will become of him... meanwhile, MANA's f-funeral... will b-be held l-l-later this week...that is all...cut...cut the cameras, please..."_ the newswoman reported solemnly, breaking down near the end as the screen abruptly cut to black, then a chilling white noise.

Several similar newscasts were going on nation wide, as a boy and his uncle watched them all silently from a hospital room.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_"...why?"_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_xxxxxxx_ _xx_ _x_

Neah didn't talk to Allen at all after that. Allen figured that Neah blamed him. Why wouldn't he, when even Allen blamed himself? If he hadn't have been so selfish and kept his big mouth shut, then none of this would have happened...

_xxxxxxx_ _xx_ _x_

Allen was released from the hospital after getting stitches and a cast for his leg. The left side of his face still throbbed painfully under it's mass of bandages, as if his new wound wanted to remind him of all that had happened, and all he had lost.

_xxxxxxx_ _xx_ _x_

Allen stood solemnly at Mana's funeral. Neah had made it so that only a select few could come, but reporters and fans still crowded around the edge of the cemetery.

Allen didn't shed a tear. At least...that's what he told himself as the heavens started to rain.

__xxxxxxx_ _xx_ _x_ _

_All my fault all my fault all my fault AlL MY faUlt all My Fault ALL my FaULt ALL MY -_

_Allen...I l-love...you..._

_xxxxxxx_ _xx_ _x_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_"MANA!"_ Allen cried out as he bolted up in his bed, his face drenched with sweat and tears. He breathing was deep and ragged, as if he had just run a marathon. He swiped away the hair clinging to his forehead. His wide eyes looked frantically around the room as he tried to recall where he was.

Then he remembered.

He was in Cross' house, in the room he'd had for seven years.

It was three in the morning on Monday, June 6th, and Mana had been dead for eight years.

And after that day, Allen hadn't sung. Not even once.

 

[Scene end.]

T. B. C.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K: Let's all just ignore the slight continuity bump that is MANA illegally snatching Allen out of the orphanage alright, okay, good.  
> J: *LOUD STARING*  
> K: Aaaaanyways, Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed, please give kudos. And oh man comments would be amazing. It really helps motivate a guy.


	2. Scene I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***
> 
> J: Okay, so I just realized that the prologue is extremely long….what the hell, Karter?  
> K: Hey I was shocked, too! I was only planning for it to be, like, three or four pages at the most.  
> J: So...would you mind explaining how that turned into EIGHTEEN pages!?  
> K: Hey I get in a zone when I'm writing, and a really didn't want to split the prologue in to two parts. It wouldn't have flowed as nicely, would it?  
> J: Hm, excellent point. Indeed.  
> K: Thank you.  
> J: Oh, and we know it says it in the summary, but this WILL change to M rated in the future due to lemon and noncon (thankfully they're two separate incidents). Oh, one more thing! The song!  
> K: Oh the song. Yeah, uh, it sucks majorly it's so cheesy on second thought just skip the part where the song comes in oh God-  
> J: Karter wrote the song.  
> K: I'm not very confident in it, since I made MANA out to be this bigger-than-life amazing singer-song-writer so it feels kind of meh to me.  
> J: it's fine stop whining  
> K: wow jess rood  
> J: I WILL PUNCH YOU.  
> K: GO THE FUCK AHEAD. So anyways, that's really all we have to say…  
> J: *punches*…so enjoy the chapter, yes?
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING(S): Anxiety mention

**Scene I:**  
 _That Which We Call Moyashi By Any Other Name Would Be As Short_

Allen groaned when he saw what time it was. He fell back down in bed and covered his face with his arm to shield his eyes from the early morning light streaming in through the cracks of his dark curtains.

 _'It's been a while since I had a nightmare like that,'_ he thought as he tried to calm his racing heart.  _'Deep breaths. Deep breaths.'_

He failed miserably - his hands still shaking after a minute of deep breathing - and threw his covers off in frustration. _'Okay,'_ he thought, _'I am not going to be able to get back to sleep. Ugh, what now?'_   he thought as he heard something scratching at his bedroom door. He stretched, lean muscles on his exposed stomach twisting, then dragged himself out of bed and opened the door, his baggy, dark blue sleep pants hanging low on his hips. Cracking the door open, his suspicions were confirmed. He opened it all the way to allow Timcanpy - Cross' tiny, gold, fluff-ball of a kitten - into the room. Though it was more Allen's cat than Cross'. The man had only gotten him because he heard that ladies found it sexy, then told Allen to care for it.

"Come on in, Tim. I could use the company," Allen said as he picked up the kitten, nuzzling his face slightly into his velvety fur, finding comfort in the familiar feeling. Truth be told, they'd had him for years, but it seemed like this was as big as he was getting, stuck forever in a kitten's body. Although he was tiny, he was really fat, and very fluffy, so he looked almost round. Allen plopped Tim onto his bed and stood in the clear space in the middle of his room. "Just stay here while I do my morning exercises."

Tim just stared at him with big green eyes, meowed as if he understood, and curled up to watch. Allen managed a smile before he started, stretching his body thoroughly.

After finishing, Allen decided to work out, take a shower, and eat some breakfast. By the time he was finished it was barely 6 a.m. He was trying to decide what to do when he saw a note from his guardian pinned to the refrigerator that he hadn't noticed earlier when he'd raided the contents:

_Hey brat,_  
 _I've gone out. Pay the house bills and run if the collectors come._  
 _Get money from your own stash if you want anything._  
 _Don't touch my alcohol, and don't die. Your corpse will stink up the place._  
 _I'll be back in about two weeks._  
 _Cross_

"...Figures. Well, I guess I have time to stop by the bank before school," Allen said to himself.

He put on his school uniform - which consisted of black pants, a white long-sleeve, a black blazer and a thin red tie loosely hung around his neck - and set off.

"There. That should last me 'til Cross gets back," Allen said as he pocketed the money he had just withdrawn, "Well, I'd better head off to school nOW!" he exclaimed as he bumped into someone.

"Ah!" he heard a feminine voice cry right before flying papers filled his vision.

Allen looked down to see a young woman with long black hair picking up the papers she had dropped when they had bumped into each other.

"I'm so sorry, Miss," Allen said as he knelt to help her, "I wasn't looking where I was going. Are you alright?" he asked as he held out the papers he had collected.

"Thank you, I'm fine, just in a...hur...ry..." she slowed down, stunned, as she looked up to find that a pure white angel had just helped her pick up her forms. the sun was even angled behind him, creating a halo effect. "Oh....oh my gosh. You're _perfect!_ " the woman shouted as he helped her up. As soon as she was steady on her feet, she clasped his hands in hers and introduced herself. "Hi. My name is Lenalee Lee. Would you be interested in joining our company as an upcoming idol?" she asked suddenly, looking up at him with hopeful eyes.

Allen cringed when she said "idol". After all, the memory of his nightmare was still fresh.

"Sorry, I'll have to decline."

He tried to walk around her, but she blocked him. She had a determined, almost pleading look in her amethyst eyes.

"Please! Our company will go under at this rate. Just...give it a try. Please?" she told him earnestly as she handed him two papers: a flyer and an audition form. Then she started to walk away.

Allen was just going to pocket the forms and throw them away later when he noticed the header that had the company name on it. His eyes went wide and he felt his stomach flip when he recognized the name.

"Wait!" he shouted as he grabbed her arm to stop her. "You're the Dark Order...as in... _the_ Dark Order?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, confused that anyone would know about them.

"You mean, you don't know? DO is...this is the company that..." He had to say it. _'Come on, Allen, it's just a name.'_   "...that MANA started at before he went independent..." He hoped she didn't notice the sudden shake in his voice. He felt sick.

Thankfully, she didn't seem to notice it as she continued, sounding dejected. "...Yes. We are. I guess you don't want to audition now..."

"What?" he asked in surprise. "Why wouldn't I?"

She looked at him strangely. "You mean _you_ don't know? Mana went independent because the owner, Leverier, was a horrible person who was abusive to his employees and liked to work them to the bone. I though most Koreans knew that. How old are you?" She gasped. "Are you a foreigner?"

"I'm seventeen. I was a bit young when...everything happened." She definitely noticed the shake in his voice this time, but thankfully she didn't comment on it. "And...I'm not exactly a foreigner. I was raised here in Korea."

"Wow, you really are perfect! This must be fate! Ah! But, if you do decide to audition, don't worry! It's not common knowledge, but Leverier was replaced by my aunt. But she's a very kind person! So, you'll still audition for us...right?" Lenalee finished after taking a deep breath.

Allen thought deeply about the step he was about to take. It felt like he'd been standing still for so long. Now the gears were starting to turn again. The rust in his bones was fading away, and he felt like thanks to this he could maybe... _finally_...move forward just a bit. Little by little. And what better direction to move in than the one Mana had gone in? He knew it would hurt...but he felt it in his gut. Yes, this was the right thing to do.

"I...I will," Allen told her with new determination. _'Father started there. If I can be like him, then it will be a dream come true. Just watch me, Father. I'll get up again, and keep walking.'_

"Great!" Lenalee said with joy, "Oh, sorry, I still don't know your name...?"

"It's Allen." he told her, leaving his last name out. It wouldn't do him any harm to tell her, but it wouldn't do him any good either. And it would probably cause a ruckus that he didn't want. He wanted to do this on his own. To walk on his own to feet, not ride on his father's coattails.

"Well alright then, Allen. Here, take my card, too! Just contact me if you have any questions. You absolutely must come to the address on the flyer. After school of course. You go to that private school right? I can tell by your uniform. Ah, I must be holding you up, sorry! See you later okay?" she insisted.

"You can count on it."

** xxxxxxxxxx **

After school, Allen immediately rushed to the address she had given him. Of course he took a taxi, otherwise he would have gotten lost. It was one of the many small quirks and habits he had picked up from his father. The taxi pulled up to a small building with a large back section and older looking dorms next to it. He braced himself, and walked through the doors. He took a look around at the few other people there, filling out some forms: A boy with roller skates, a woman with long black hair, and a girl in yellow. He took a deep breath, straightened up a bit, the walked up to the front desk where a jittery, nervous-looking woman sat.

"Excuse me-"

The woman jumped, as if he'd shouted. "Ah! Y-y-y-yes? H-how may I h-help you?" she managed to stutter out.

"...Um...I'm here to sign up for the auditions that will take place on Saturday."

"Oh, t-th-that's good. D-do you have an audition f-f-form already?"

"Yes."

"O-okay, um, I-I'll take it- WAIT! No! You keep it. I'm sorry for my horrible mistaaake!" the woman screeched as she started to sob. Allen looked about frantically, not knowing what to do, then he spotted her nameplate.

"Miss Lotto, it really is fine. No harm, no foul, right?"

She looked up as she calmed down and said, "Ah...yes, of c-course. Here, just fill out th-this additional i-i-i-information, and turn it in when you're f-f-finished."

He took the paper she offered him and thanked her. He walked to a table in the corner and started filling it out there.

Do you have any illnesses or injuries? _'Yes, but it does not impair me.'_   Do you have any possible schedule conflicts? _'High School and cram school.'_   Who is your favorite Korean idol (past/current)? _'MANA...'_   What is the name of your parent/guardian? _'...Cross Marian.'_   Who is the one who scouted you? _'Um...I think her name was...Lenalee Lee.'_ What is your goal?

Allen thought for a while before he filled out the last one. _'My goal...'_

** xxxxxxxxxx **

Allen finished the last question, then stood up to turn it in. Everyone else was gone, they must have finished while he was filling out his form. He walked over to the secretary and handed her the paper with a smile. "Here you are, Miss Lotto."

"Ah, th-thank you. P-p-please, just call me Miranda. Ah!" Miranda exclaimed as she read over his form. "So y-you're the one Lenalee s-scouted! In that case, just give me a second. She requested that y-y-you meet her b-brother, Komui."

Allen waited a bit as Miranda called this Komui person, confused as to why Lenalee would want him to meet her brother. Miranda finished her call, and almost as soon as she hung up a person resembling an octopus stormed into the building from an entrance behind the desk.

"Who is it that my dear Lenalee wants me to train~? I'll make him the best idol ever!" the man, who Allen assumed was Komui, exclaimed flamboyantly.

"I...I think you're talking about me?" Allen told him as he raised his hand, as if being the only person standing there wasn't enough of an indicator.

"You? Hmmm..." Komui mused as he started to circle around Allen, "Body? Check. Complextion and expression? Check. Stance? Check! Face? Oh, cute! Yes, you _are_ of the idol variety. Let's see your forms," Komui continued as he took both of them from Allen and Miranda. "Okay, let's see you're Allen Wa-" Komui suddenly stopped as he looked at the name on the audition form. Then at Allen. Then back to the audition form. And so on. For at least a minute.

"Yes?" Allen said boldly. He knew that since this was where Mana started, it was likely that some of these people knew his last name, even though it had been kept secret from the public. He had put his full name on the form being fully prepared for this.

"You," Komui said, suddenly serious, "Follow me to the back. Now."

Without further ado, Allen followed Komui through the door he had entered through into the larger part of the building, which turned out to be a sort of dance and training room with mirrors and railing all along the side. As soon as the door snapped shut behind Allen, Komui turned to face him.

"I knew there was something familiar about you. So you're him, huh?" he asked.

"Pardon?"

"You're Walker's son."

"..."

"I'll take that as a yes. I was wondering when you would step into show biz. I suspected that is was only a matter of time, but I never expected you would come to us," Komui stated with an amazed air about him.

"I've decided to keep walking forward in my father's footsteps."

Komui took one look at Allen's determined expression and grinned in return.

"And? What do you want to accomplish here at the Dark Order? What's your goal?" Komui asked, knowing the answer already after reading the form.

"Of course, I'm aiming for the top. And I'll never stop walking 'til I get there," Allen said with full determination.

_"Perfect."_

** xxxxxxxxxx **

"So you're telling me that you want to keep the fact that your MANA's son a secret?" Komui asked incredulously from the other side of the table they both sat at. They had relocated to Komui's small office in the dorms.

"Yes."

"But why? His name could get you places that would normally take years in the blink of an eye."

"I don't want to use my father's influence in any way. It wouldn't feel right. I want to do this on my own. So, I'd appreciate it if this was kept on a need to know basis. And of course none of the public could know. I don't think I even told Miss Lee. Here, I'm just Allen. Okay?"

Komui was definitely interested in this kid now.

"Okay. Fine. I understand. So that's why Lenalee didn't know who you were. Ah! I'll have to tell the boss after your audition though...But what do they call you in school? Don't the teachers know who you are?"

"No. You should know, his English name was kept a secret from the public. Only people in show biz would know," Allen replied solemnly.

"Yes, I know...Allen, I'm sorry for bringing this up...but I'm a bit familiar with the events that happened in those few years. And I've always been wondering...why didn't you stay with his brother, Neah?" Komui asked solemnly.

Allen looked down then away, outside the window. He was silent for a moment before he spoke. "Ah, that..." he started quietly.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_xxxxxxxxxx_

It was midnight on the day of Mana's funeral.

Allen moved silently around his room as he gathered his things. He didn't have many personal belongings besides his clothes and the ball Mana had gotten him, all of which he packed in a small backpack. he made sure it was snug on his shoulders, since he'd have to use his one good had for the crutch.

He looked around his room one last time, and his eyes rested on one object. The pure black, upright piano that Mana had bought him. It had arrived in the mail right before Mana's funeral, as if to mock him. Allen still hadn't played it yet. He walked slowly over to it and ran his hands across it, light enough not to press the keys, but enough to feel them, cool under his touch. White, black, white, black...he looked at each key as it ran under his fingers, then tiptoed to open up the top part. He peeked in and saw the bright new strings, all perfectly in a line. Like they always would be. If only Allen's life could be like that again. Perfectly in order. But it couldn't be. Not any more.

He closed the lid and stepped back. Then he took out a note from his pocket. He unfolded it and read it one last time:

_Uncle Neah,_  
 _Please, don't look for me._  
 _I'm sorry._  
 _Thank you, and Goodbye._  
 _Allen_

It was a simple message, but as we know, Allen was a simple boy.

He placed it on the bed, and walked out of the one place he had called home, and never went back.

He was unwelcome anyways.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Komui looked at him with sad eyes as Allen continued, "After that, I spent months on the streets, then half a year in some orphanage. That's when my guardian found me and took me in. He said that he was an old friend of Mana's. I remembered Father talking about him once. He matched the description to a tee, so I had no reason not to believe him. And it's not like I had anywhere else to go. So I went with him."

"Oh...your guardian? Who...?" Komui wondered aloud as he looked at the forms. His eyes widened when he saw who it was.

"I see by your reaction that you know him. I thought you might; he's an infamous informant in the entertainment industry."

"Oh I know him all right...Allen, honestly, I'm surprised you're still sane."

"Me, too," Allen answered frankly.

"Ha! Now to get down to business. Do you play any instruments?" Komui asked.

"I play the piano, and a bit of guitar."

"Good. What kind of training did...ah, did your father give you? Besides piano, that is."

"None whatsoever," Allen deadpanned with a smile.

Komui almost fell out of his chair.

"None!?"

"None. He always said he'd get to it later. I have a feeling he had second thoughts about dragging me in to show biz."

"Well then, we've got a lot of work to do in the next few days..."

"I brought coffee!" Lenalee said as she came in with two mugs.

"Ah, Thank y-"

"LENALEE~~! Where have you been while your brother was stuck with this incompetent person~~?"

"B-brother! Get off, you're embarrassing me! Sorry, Allen, this must be awkward..." Lenalee told him as she tried to pry her brother off while holding two cups of coffee.

Allen only smiled sadly and sofly and said, "Ah, don't worry. I used to know someone like that. You're brother really loves you."

"You bet I do!" Komui said as he clung to his sister, who only looked at Allen with a puzzled look.

"So, Mr. Lee," Allen stated as he took the cups from Lenalee.

"Hm?"

"Should we get to work?" Allen asked with a coy grin as he handed a mug to Komui.

** xxxxxxxxxx **

"No, no lift your leg a bit higher on the turn. You're bringing it down too soon, it ruins your momentum for the slide at the end," Komui instructed Allen sternly, "Instead of finishing the spin, then trying to slide, you need to join the two moves so they flow. Do it again! ...See? Right there! You put your foot down at the end of the turn!" Komui pointed out, "Instead of doing that, right at the end of the turn slide it to the right just above the ground...balance...do it a bit slower this time, just to get the move down. Use your arms, like I told you...Okay...good...now see how after you do that, you can bring in your left foot. You just finished the slide, see? And you didn't even need to stop after the turn!"

After Komui finished explaining this move to him, Allen commented, "You're a very good instructor, Mr. Lee."

"Thank you. But enough with the Mr. Lee stuff. Just call me Komui."

"You're all very close here, aren't you?" Allen asked, thinking about how everyone had told him to call them by their first names.

"Yes, we are. We try to establish a sort of family here. I place where you know you can trust everyone."

"Family, huh..." Allen whispered.

Komui smiled gently and walked over to the boy. "Yes, family. Now, let's get to work on that slide and jump move I wanted to show you."

And so, days passed, each one consisting of Allen waking up, going through a monotonous day at school, then hitching a taxi over to the Dark Order for lessons with Komui who, he found out, was an amazing choreographer, 27 years old, 6 years older than his sister, and obsessed with three things: his sister, coffee, and his sister's coffee.

Finally, the day of the audition arrived.

 _"Remember Allen, I'm giving you this training already, so we can't give you any more special treatment. Make sure you're on time tomorrow! Or else you'll have to pay for your next audition or wait until next year!'"_ Komui had told him the day before. But right now, Allen was in a dire situation...

"...where is it? No no _no_ where is it?" Allen panicked as he searched for the thing he needed most.

His wallet.

Without it, he couldn't afford the taxi, and there was no way he would get there on time if he tried to find where it was. He'd get lost and starve on the streets...okay maybe not, but it would still be just as devastating. Then he remembered advice that Mana had given him.

_"Allen, if you ever need to get somewhere, don't TRY to look for it. It's hopeless. Just wander in the general direction you know it's in, you'll find it."_

"Thank you, father!" Allen said out loud.

 _'Okay,'_ he thought, _'I should be able to walk there, I know it's not too far...'_ then he looked at his watch _'...walk? Did I say walk? I meant RUN!'_ he thought as he started to sprint in the direction the taxi always went in.

** xxxxxxxxxx **

Kanda wasn't one to indulge himself.

He didn't own any jewelry, valued quality over quantity, didn't eat junk food (because instant soba was a five-star meal as far as he was concerned), he had no luxurious home, a nice, gas efficient car, and he never ate candy or sweets of any kind.

So why, do you ask, was he getting himself a present for his nineteenth birthday? Well not getting, more like taking part in.

You see, Kanda Yuu was signing up for the Dark Order auditions for his birthday.

 _"What?"_ You may ask. _"Why?"_

It's very simple really. This is where his idol, MANA, started out.

MANA was amazing. Even Kanda, no, _especially_ Kanda recognized that. Because Kanda had always loved beautiful things. The beauty of black on white. The beauty of the moon in the night. The beauty of the sword as it danced through the air. Yes, Kanda had always loved beautiful things. Which is why he instantly loved MANA's music. It was different than all the other songs, so bent on just selling selling selling. It made Kanda think they only put him under the K-Pop genre because they didn't exactly know where to place him. It was pop, but more unique. Rock, but soft. Jazz, but more alive. Stylish, but completely different. It was amazing, it was transcendent. In one word, it was beautiful.

Of course, MANA wasn't just his idol for that reason alone. There was more to the story...no, he didn't want to remember those bittersweet things right now.

When he heard MANA had been killed, and that the rumors about his son were true, he'd been devastated. He'd shed tears for the man. Given he was younger, but he - Kanda - actually _cried_. And although he cried for his own loss of his hero, he also cried for the boy. He'd felt a sort of distant kinship with the kid since he'd found out about him. He could only imagine what it could have been like for him. It must have been horrible...

 _'I wonder where that guy is now?'_ Kanda thought as he took the form from the stuttering, nervous lady and sat down facing away from the door. As he was about to finish, he heard the door open again. He looked up to see a skinny old man walk in and go to the front.

 _'Don't tell me he's asking for an audition form? Oh well, not my concern,'_ Kanda thought. He zoned everything else out as he looked back down to finish his form, filled in the last questions, got up, turned it in, and walked out without a second glance.

** xxxxxxxxxx **

Kanda sat at the Dark Order on the day of the auditions. He had arrived early, and had busted out his phone to listen to the song he'd be performing. He didn't really like the song - he would have preferred to sing a song by MANA - but he didn't have the right voice type. He admitted that. Besides, he heard that the judge liked English songs. Hebraska, the owner of the Black Order, would be judging this herself along with either one of the Lee siblings.

"Okay, N-n-number 3? N-number three i-is up..." the jittery woman called from the desk.

Kanda stood up calmly and entered the dance hall. He looked at Lenalee and Hebraska, who was sitting in a chair holding a tablet and looking at him with stern eyes, and said, "For future reference, my name is Kanda Yuu. I prefer to be called by Kanda."

Without further ado, he walked over to the stereo, plugged in his phone, found the instrumental, and pressed play...

_"I'm bringing sexy back."_

** xxxxxxxxxx **

Allen was running as fast as he could. He had just asked the first person he'd seen if they knew where Dark Order was at. They had said it was nearby and pointed in the direction it was in. Allen thanked them, and now here he was, running like his life depended on it. That's when he saw it! Finally! The Dark Order.

_'Yes! Shit, I hope I'm not too late!'_ he thought.

He burst through the doors and looked around as he tried to catch his breath.

Empty. The lobby was empty.

He had almost given up hope when he heard someone scuffle behind the desk. Miranda poked her head out from underneath it and smiled.

"Ah! Allen! Y-y-y-you s-scared me! I f-f-fell! Here! H-hurry, you're the l-l-last one."

"Oh! Thanks, Miranda!" Allen said as he ran through the doors behind her desk.

As he was going through, he bumped into something and stumbled back a bit. Well, he bumped into some _one_.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Allen said.

He looked up to see the woman with long hair he had seen the other day.

Except _he_ wasn't a woman.

_'It was a guy? My bad. Ah, his hair is so long and dark...'_

"Che, move aside moyashi." the long haired man said with an annoyed look.

_'Huh? Japanese? Now that I think about it he doesn't look Korean...hey...WAIT A SECOND!'_

** xxxxxxxxxx **

Kanda had just finished his audition. He was sweaty and wanted to hurry up and get home and clean up, so he wasn't exactly looking where he was going.

He was walking out as he bumped into someone. He looked down and it turned out to be the old man from yesterday. Well, when he looked closer, he wasn't all that old.

_'Che, what the...it's some kid. Why would he bleach his hair white?'_

The kid stood up straighter and apologized, that's when Kanda noticed...the distinct height difference.

"Che, move aside _moyashi,_ " Kanda said. He stressed the last part. It was a bad habit of his to be rude or gruff with people he first met. Even more so when they didn't get off on the right foot.

"Excuse me?" the white haired boy said incredulously. Then he did something Kanda didn't expect. He replied... _in Japanese_. Extremely ticked off Japanese. _"I'm not a beansprout. Can't you tell idiot? Or are you blind?"_

Then the boy shoved past Kanda, actually managing to make him stumble a bit from the force, and left him stunned. Not that he would show that though.

"...Annoying," Kanda muttered as he walked out to his car.

** xxxxxxxxxx **

Allen walked to the center of the room and noticed that only one person was judging him. Hebraska.

_'Figures. I'm too familiar with Komui and Lenalee,'_ Allen thought as he gave his introduction.

Walking over to the stereo, he plugged in his phone to play the music for the dance part. He was choosing to do two separate pieces for the dancing and singing parts. He could have made them into one, but he was planning something...a bit special for the singing portion.

He took the time to catch his breath as he finished, the last notes of SHINee's  _Lucifer_ ringing through the dance hall. He smiled internally. He hadn't gotten everything perfect, but it was a difficult song, and he'd only messed up on the synch of the hand and feet movements a couple of times. Nothing major. All that practicing had paid off.

Once he'd caught his breath, he picked up one of the acoustic guitars provided - a suggestion from Lenalee, since she knew Allen didn't own one of his own. Really, how much did he owe her? - and adjusted the strings before starting to play.

Hebraska's eyes widened in shock when she heard the intro to the song that Allen had chosen.

_'This kid has guts to be singing a song by MANA...this should be interesting.'_

This was the tricky part. He'd been practicing on his own since he decided to audition, but the fact was, he hadn't sung in nearly a decade. Not even to hum along to a tune in a car. It's not that it had been overly traumatic - though that was the case at first - only that he'd gotten used to it. That absence of music. In a way, it was how he'd coped. How he'd kept his emotions at bay long enough for them to settle somewhat. But the time for silence was over.

And so, for the first time in eight years... Allen Walker started to sing.

"If you ever feel alone  
remember this blue sky  
this beautiful horizon  
that connects you and I

Even if we part  
We'll be together soon  
We are under the same sun  
and under the same moon

Just hold me close  
in your heart  
and we'll never  
truly be apart

If you ever need a shoulder  
to cry on I'll be there  
feelings like these  
don't come out of thin air

Even if we part  
We'll be together soon  
We are under the same sun  
and under the same moon

Just hold me close  
in your heart  
and we'll never  
truly be apart

Even if we part  
We'll be together soon  
We are under the same sun  
and under the same moon

I'll hold you close too  
like I always do  
just hold me close  
in your heart  
so we'll never  
ever be apart"

Allen was overcome with emotions as the soft melody washed over him, seeming to fill him from within. On the last line he almost flinched as his voice cracked and a tear slid down his face. He'd been doing so well too. Hopefully Hebraska wasn't the type to mind such a thing.

Meanwhile, Hebraska just sat there looking at him. She hadn't written anything down on her notepad. She only looked at him with tears in her eyes and a small smile on her face. It was strange, this nostalgic feeling that had washed over her as she saw the boy perform. It was almost as if she was watching a young MANA up there. She even thought, just for a brief moment before she blinked, that his hair was a sandy blonde instead of white. And that the hand on the neck of the guitar had black nails.

She shook her head. She must be tired, to be seeing such things.

"Thank you, you may go."

"Ah," Allen answered stiffly as he walked out, past Miranda who tried to call out to him, through the doors, and out to sidewalk. He called a taxi, and luckily he was able to convince him that he had money at home. When they arrived, he paid the man, then went to his room and collapsed, exhausted, onto his bed.

"So how did I do, father?" he whispered, as he closed his eyes, and sleep cradled him in its warm embrace.

 

[Scene End.]

T. B. C.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> J: You made Kanda perform Sexy Back?  
> K: ....lemme explain-  
> J: You made KANDA YUU. PERFORM. SEXY BACK. IM SO DONE WITH YOU I QUIT.  
> K: Hey I think we all know that he's sexy enough, confident enough, and smug enough to do it. Even if he doesn't really want to.  
> J: That...is very, very true.  
> K: He knows how to work the bishie booty  
> J: ... I DON'T FUCKING KNOW YOU.  
> K: SHHHHHHH U LOVE ME  
> J: SOMETIMES.  
> K: BITCH.  
> J: Ignore Karter, he's dumb. Anyways, thank you all for reading!  
> K: Review, kudo, or bookmark if you liked it!


	3. Scene II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***
> 
> J: We aren't getting as many bites on here as we did on FF.net  
> K: I know. I wonder if it's just the fandom that's died off, or if we just aren't interesting?  
> J: Can we offer them free stuff?  
> K: I'm pretty sure that's false advertisement.  
> J: Darn.  
> K: *pat pat* You tried.  
> J: Well, enjoy the chapter!
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING(S): None

**Scene II:**  
 _Alas, poor Allen_

It was Monday afternoon as Allen paced nervously in his room. Today was the day. He had rushed over after school, and every few seconds his eyes would wander nervously to his cell phone on his bed.

_'Did I make it? No, they would have called by now...but they said they would call around this time, so there's still hope right? No, no stop deluding yourself. You're not experienced, you've got a bad arm, you have a damn scar on your face. There's no way they would choose y-'_

_KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!_

"AAAH!" Allen shouted as he jumped from the sudden eruption of knocking on his front door.

 _"Allen? Allen! Let me in!"_ came a muffled voice from the other side.

"Whoa!" Allen exclaimed as he rushed to open it. He recognized that voice, and it was none other than:

"Lenalee! Sorry I didn't let you in right away. I was expecting you to call instead of trying to break my door down," Allen told the girl who was huffing and puffing on his front porch.

She shook her head. She felt like she'd just run a marathon. Well, technically she had run...up the stairs. She was a bit out of shape, so sue her. It had been three flights after all. It's just...she thought Allen deserved to be told in person. She tried to talk, took one more deep breath, and said, "Never mind that! Allen..." tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and he feared the worst.

_'I knew it. I didn't make it...With all those years of no practice it's no wonder I didn't-'_

"Allen you made it! You're in!" Lenalee said with a huge grin as sh blinked away her tears of joy.

Allen just stood there in shock, trying to process what she just said. he could already feel the lump forming in his throat. "...I...I'm in?"

"Yes!"

"I made it...?"

"Yes! You- Allen, are you alright?" Lenalee asked, noticing the tears that were suddenly streaming down his face and growing a bit worried.

"Me...I did it...I...Thank you...Thank you so much!" Allen finally choked out as he tried to stop his tears of joy and relief. He hated to show it in front of others, but he'd always been an easy crier. Whenever he got over emotional - be it happiness, sadness, or anger - they just started flowing. And _this_...This was probably the second happiest moment of his life. This was amazing. Incredible! He couldn't help the large whoop of joy that escaped his lips as he jumped into the air.

"You're a strange one, Allen," Lenalee laughed, sniffling a bit afterwards. She wasn't ashamed to admit that she was just as bad at crying as Allen was.

"You're one to talk, Lenalee, you're crying too. Here I think I have some tissues..."

He handed her one once he'd found them and was surprised to see that she wore makeup, the smudges evident on the white fabric. He commented on it, saying how she didn't need to wear any and she just smiled.

"I don't wear it because I need to, I just like it. Think of it as an accessory, like a bracelet or earrings. It's just something I enjoy doing in the mornings."

"Hm, fair enough."

Once they'd made themselves presentable she grabbed his wrist and started pulling him towards the door.

"Eh? Wait, where are we going?" Allen asked, stumbling as they started to descend the stairs. Why Cross always picked cheap places with no elevator he'd never know.

"To the Dark Order of course. You...uh...kind of need to meet someone..." Lenalee said with a nervous chuckle, avoiding eye contact.

Allen squinted at her suspisciously. "Who?"

Lenalee started the car and backed out of the driveway. Then she said mysteriously, "You'll see~!"

 _'I don't like that glint in her eye...'_ Allen thought with a shiver.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

They arrived at Dark Order just a while later. Laughter was heard as the car doors opened.

"Ahaha! I can't believe you got lost when it's less than three miles away from your house!" Lenalee told Allen.

He just pouted a bit and said, "Hey, I shouldn't have told you if you were going to laugh!"

"Alright, alright. Allen. I need you to do me a huge favor. This is coming from your new manager!"

"Really? Okay," Allen said, smiling at the news. He was glad that Lenalee had been assigned to him. Although, now that he thought about it, she hadn't told him if anyone else made it, so he may have been the only one to choose from.

"Good. Now, this is a test. Of your, uh, acting skills. I want you to put on a slightly pissed off look. Like, one step under a glare."

"...What is this supposed to do?" he asked. What was with those strange instructions.

"Just do it, okay?" she quipped.

"Yes ma'am!" he said, instantly switching his facial expression.

"Ooooh, that's nice. Okay, now straighten up. Chin level...good! Now put your left hand in your pocket, no, make that your right hand. Peeerfect. Just let me ruffle your hair a bit. Ah ah ah! Don't move, keep the expression! Posture posture!"

 _'She's manager material all right,'_ Allen thought.

"Um, Lenalee?" Allen said through a clenched jaw. He was scared of what Lenalee might do if he moved again so he was keeping completely frozen. "Is there anything else?"

"Yes! Now...walk the _manliest_ walk you can muster straight through those doors! Boldly go!" Lenalee pointed ecstatically with a maniacal laugh.

"..."

"Don't give me that look! Now go!"

"Alright then," Allen said. Then he walked up to the doors, and sauntered in as if he owned the place.

Unbeknownst to him, Lenalee had run back to the car, and turned the headlights on as he opened the doors.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"When the hell is this guy going to get here?" a very annoyed Kanda asked a very calm Komui. Instead of answering, Komui only sipped his coffee.

He sipped.

And sipped.

And-

"Oi!"

That's when they heard the scrape of tires against gravel. "That should be them now," Komui answered.

"Tch, about time," Kanda muttered.

"Remember the deal Kanda. If he can stun you within the first five seconds of you meeting him, then you have to have him as your partner."

"That's _if_ he can. I'm a hard person to impress...well? How long does it take to get from the front step to the do- What the fuck!?" Kanda said as the doors opened in an explosion of wind and light.

Kanda had to shield his eyes to see the lean figure outlined in the doorway. As he got used to the light, he saw what appeared to be an angel standing in front of him, his face relaxed in a frosty gaze. The snow white skin glowing in the light, the silver hair flaying in the wind, the halo around him...it was...

And for one moment, just a split second, Kanda's eye's widened, his heart beat sped up, and he had nothing to say. Only a single word surfaced in his muddled thoughts.

_'Beautiful.'_

Then the light turned off, the wind stopped blowing, the moment passed, and they looked at each other...

"Beansprout!?"

"Wait...is that...the idiot from the audition!?"

Kanda huffed and stood up suddenly as if to leave.

"No. I'm not doing it. There's absolutely no way that I'd partner with a rude shrimp like him," Kanda protested as he tried to leave. He was held back by Komui who waved the company audition contract in his face.

"Ah, ah, ah, Kanda! You both signed these, remember? And these say that you have to follow any terms and conditions we set once you join. The condition was met. You were stunned by Allen, I saw it!"

"...Fuck," Kanda grumbled as he realized he had no reasonable comeback to that and sat back down.

"So, Komui, Lenalee, why was I never told about this _condition_?"

They both slowly turned to look at the white haired boy, and although he was smiling, they could have sworn there was a darkness surrounding him.

 _'Eep! Allen is scary when he's mad!'_ they both thought.

"Ah, well, you see...Allen...ahahaha...I-I promise I'll tell you later. Okay?" Komui squeaked out as Allen stepped closer and closer. The answer seemed to satisfy him, and Allen walked back to his seat...on the other side of the room from Kanda.

A long, tense silence followed before Lenalee had had enough.

"Look," Lenalee said boldly as she saw the two of them glare at each other, "You two were paired with each other for three reasons. One, you two balance. Both in appearance, and the _attitudes_." - "What's that supposed to mean, huh?" "Let her talk, idiot." - "Two, the fact of the matter is groups sell better than solo artists. We were _going_ to tell you the third reason - the most important one - but now I think we'll just leave you to figure that out for your...selves......Cut it out!" she yelled as they kept glaring, "I know you both said you'd prefer to be solo artists on your application, but this is show biz. You don't always get what you want. Now grow up. Who knows? You might actually work really well together," she finished.

The two males just continued to glare at each other. Allen was, unsurprisingly, the first to give. Not that he was intimidated. He was just sick of this sour feeling in the air and decided that if anyone was going to appease it, it was going to be him. He sighed and got up to walk towards Kanda. He stopped in front of him, put a smile on his face, then said as convincingly as he could.

"Sorry we got off on the wrong foot. Let's start over. My name's Allen and excuse me _where_ are you going?" Allen asked. Kanda had stood up midway through his introduction and walked towards the doors.

"Che. They were right. We _are_ opposites."

"Huh?"

"You're obviously faking all of this polite bullshit."

 _'Ouch.'_ Allen thought. That was one of the first times someone had seen through him so quickly. Albeit the two of them weren't exactly friendly, so it might have just been a rash assumption, but something told Allen that it wasn't. Kanda had sounded so sure of himself.

Lowering his hand and mask, Allen said, "Well at least I try, asshole."

Lenalee and Komui both looked on in shock. What was going on? Allen was faking it? It'd felt so real to them...

"Don't. It's fucking annoying."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Then don't talk to me."

"You're still doing it!"

"I knew I'd never get along with an idiotic _beansprout_."

"Fine," Allen said to him, "Same to you, _Bakanda_."

Kanda's nostrils flared at the demeaning nickname. And in his mother-tongue too.  "...! Tch!" Kanda ticked as he stormed out the door.

Allen held his glare for a bit longer, burning holes into Kanda's back, then sighed and said, "I guess that last part didn't help much, did it?" he asked the two Lees.

"Nope," they both said.

"Allen..." Lenalee said worriedly. "Do we...do you not like us? What Kanda said...was it true? Are you only faking it?"

"What?" Allen said in surprise. He hadn't expected her to take it to heart. They'd only just met, but she was acting devastated. It felt odd to realize he was important to someone, even if only on a small scale. "No! No, of course it's not like that," he reassured her. "I promise. It's only him, really. He grates on my nerves for some reason."

She sighed in relief. "Well, I'm making it your job to sort him out then."

"Eh!? No way!"

"Yes way! You two need to learn to get along! This is an order!"

_'This isn't going to be pleasant...'_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

It was the second day of practice, and Kanda was already pissed off.

They were learning a new dance for the performance that they had on this show called The Ark. They were just dancing in the back with some other group but they didn't have their own songs yet, so that was unavoidable. That wasn't what was ticking him off though. It was that stupid beansprout. First, he was completely different from the day they met. He was all dares and glares Monday, but now he was all sunshine and fucking rainbows. Second, who the hell was that nice...all...the fucking...time? It was so obviously forced half the time and he was wondering why no one else called the kid out on it. And third, the beansprout hadn't come in yesterday because he had to settle matters with his school so he could come in at noon every day. So, how the _hell_ was the stupid brat keeping up with Kanda? Kanda spent every second he could practicing the moves from yesterday. Then the Moyashi came in, looked at him doing it _one fucking time_ and started dancing. _Just like that._

 _'What the hell?'_  Kanda thought as they slid past each other, with Kanda now on the right, and went into a crouch. From that low position they leaped forward into a roll, then sprang up and Kanda walked left diagonally as Allen did the opposite.

"Good! Now do those steps over again starting from the top. Then I'll teach you the second half."

"Thank you, Komui," Allen said.

"Tch."

 _'Alright, that is the fifth time this guy had "Tch"ed at something I_ _said.'_ \- Not that he was keeping count. -  _'E_ _nough is enough!'_

"What exactly is your problem with me?" Allen snapped. "I hardly even _know_ you, you judgmental ass. Is it my hair? My eyes? My scar? Well? Out with it. Don't just assume things about a person when you don't even take the time to get to know them."

Kanda was taken aback for all of two seconds - he had never expected such a bold outburst from the beansprout who always seemed to keep up his smile around others - but then his scowl was back and better than ever.

"No, it's not your fucking hair, or eyes, or scar, idiot. Who the hell would give a flying fuck about that? What annoys me is that you're so god damn happy all day, every day, to every single person! Who  _does_ that? Don't you get sick of it? Is that even fucking necessary?"

"...Let me get this straight...it's not my hair or eyes?"

"No, why would it be?"

"And it's not the scar?"

"I'm not asking about it, so why would you think that I care?"

It was then that Allen realized something. Kanda was a very straight forward person. It was over the top, and rough around the edges, but that's really all it was. If you asked him, he would tell you. If you didn't, he'd probably tell you anyways, just to get it off his chest. He was a yes or no type of guy. None of this hiding of emotions.

"Ha..." the small laugh escaped his lips. It was shaky, and had Kanda wondering if the beansprout had finally lost it. "A ha ha ha...ahahahahaha! Hahahaha!" Allen couldn't stop laughing. He had to hold his sides as they started to ache. Kanda was even staring at him funny while slowly backing away.

_'Yep. Definitely insane. Leave it to Komui to pair me with an insane person.'_

"Hahaha...you know, Kanda," Allen said once he'd caught his breath and wiped the tears from his eyes. "I think I can learn to work with you after all."

He flashed Kanda a smile that was so obviously...not fake.

_"What the...?'_

It threw him off, and it put him on edge. He wasn't used to people smiling at him like that. So he felt on guard, conditioned to respond in a way that would push that smile away.

"Yeah? Good for you. What an amazing accomplishment. Too bad that _I_ will never be able to work with _you_. I'm out of here."

"Wait, you can't just leave! Kanda. Kanda!" Komui called after him, only to get the echoing slam of the door in response. "...Well. This is unfortunate. Sorry, Allen. He was really stuck on being a solo artist. I think that's what may be _really_ bothering him."

Allen frowned. That may have been a factor, but for some reason he didn't think that was it. He didn't rally know the guy, but Kanda didn't seem the type to hold a grudge over something that was out of his hands and couldn't be helped.

"Then why doesn't he just quit?" he asked. "Go somewhere else. You know why _I'm_ here. What about him?"

"...If you want to know Allen, that's the third reason we paired you two together. Because he's here for the same reason as you. MANA is his idol." As Allen just blinked and took that in, Komui continued, "Well, we'll just have to pick things up tomorrow, Allen. You can go, I'll lock up."

"Ah...thank you, Komui. Sorry for all the trouble," Allen said as he collected his things. "Goodnight."

Komui went around turning off all the lights. Looking around one last time he sighed, "What a mess." Then he locked up and went next door to the dorms where he and Lenalee slept.

Unnoticed by Allen and Komui was a black bag in the corner of the dance room.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Shit. I can't believe I forgot my bag," Kanda berated himself as he quickly got dressed and jumped in his car. He had to wake up an hour earlier than his usual seven o'clock to drive all the way to the Dark Order and then get his bag, finish the essay inside it, then turn it in to the professor, who was in the University on the other side of town.

When he got there he was about to run next door to wake up Komui using the "Lenalee is getting married" trick that she taught him, but then he noticed there was a light on inside the dance hall.

 _'What? No way is Komui up this early. He's lazier than a hibernating sloth when it comes to anything but dancing,'_ Kanda thought.

He went inside the dark lobby and confirmed the light source. It was indeed coming from the dance hall. _' How much coffee does that man drink?'_ Kanda thought as he looked through the window and saw something unexpected. It was...the beansprout.

He was practicing the song they would be dancing to that weekend. Judging by the slight gleam of sweat on his pale skin, Kanda would say that he'd been at it for a while. He was trying to execute a more difficult move that must have been from the second half of the routine since Kanda didn't recognize it. When had he even had time to learn that? As Kanda watched, Allen ran forward five steps then did a cart wheel. But, in a technique that requires amazing core strength, he stopped mid-cartwheel and stayed in a handstand position. Then he pushed off, and did a flip and landed. He stopped there, wiping the sweat from is brow. Everything seemed fine until he tried to stretch. Then a look of pain shot across his face as he clutched his left shoulder.

Kanda's eyes widened as he threw open the doors and took swift long strides to catch Allen just as he was about to collapse. Just because he didn't really like the kid doesn't mean he would watch as he fell to the ground. He was gruff, not cruel.

"Stupid beansprout," he said in greeting.

"Bakanda...?" Allen asked incredulously when he realized who's arms he was in. In anyone else's arms he would have been embarrassed, but in Kanda's he was _mortified._ Great. Now it was like he owed him one. All because he'd decided to skip his arm exercises that morning.

"Do you always get up this early then work yourself half to death?" Kanda asked, though he didn't really know why he did. He felt...curious, that's all. He'd thought that Allen was the type to breeze through the dances, but - and it irked him to admit it and he'd _never_ say it out loud - apparently he'd been wrong.

_'Why does he want to know?'_

After recovering from the shock of seeing who had helped him, Allen replied, "When I have a dance to memorize before school I do. Why are you here anyways?" Allen asked as he looked at Kanda with those big...silver...eyes...

Kanda shook his head. _'What the?'_ he thought _'I got up way too early this morning. Ugh.'_

"Saving your ass apparently. You're fucking welcome."

"Ugh, don't remind me. Guess I owe you one."

Kanda just tilted his head quizzically, a gesture that Allen hadn't expected from him, and said, "Why?"

"Eh?"

"Why would you owe me one? That's stupid."

"...You're weird."

"I don't want to hear that from you."

Allen laughed dryly and said, "Guess you're right. Again, why're you here?" Allen asked casually. He was done trying to put up airs around Kanda. He hated to admit it, but Kanda had hit a bit close to home before. It _was_ tiring being nice all the time. It was a good feeling to be able to be gruff to someone, though he supposed that would sound unjust if he said it out loud. But it didn't bother him much.

"I'm looking for my bag, beansprout. Seen it?" Kanda noticed the change in behavior, and didn't think any less of Allen for dropping formalities. If anything, he was relieved. No more nerve grating, plastered on smiles and forced courtesy that grossed him out.

"Ah...I think it's in the corner over there," Allen said, pointing out a bag that'd been there since he got here. "...Thank you for helping me," he said earnestly, making Kanda wonder if he really should just give the kid a chance and get to know him...

...then the idiot beansprout opened his mouth again and said, "Now get it and go. You're ruining my concentration."

But the words lacked any venom, and Kanda noticed a twinkle in Allen's eye.

Weird.

Definitely weird.

Kanda just shook his head and picked up his bag in silence. Walking towards the exit, he was about to leave when he turned back to face Allen.

"Oi, beansprout-"

"Allen. My name is _Allen_."

"Tch, whatever...I just want to say that I said some things I shouldn't have yesterday. Don't expect a sorry, I don't do apologies."

"Figures that you'd be a macho man."

"Shut it. Anyways. I guess I can work with you, too," Kanda finished.

He and Allen just looked each other in the eyes for a moment, and they seemed to reach a mutual understanding.

Allen continued practicing, and Kanda went on his way.

Later that day, they both came in to practice. For once, they didn't argue. And it was freaking Komui out.

Komui was going out of his mind when he finally burst, "What the heck happened!?"

 

[Scene end.]

T. B. C.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We both sincerely hope you all enjoyed the chapter, and we'd appreciate it if you reviewed/gave kudos/bookmarked this fic. Or even if you just recommend us to another person. We're trying to get this started without using out FF.net influence, since it's a bit differently written from the older version on FF.
> 
> Thank you, lovelies!


	4. Scene III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***
> 
> J: ...  
> K: ...  
> J: ...  
> K: ... *sweats*  
> J: I THOUGHT YOU SAID-  
> K: SHUSH.  
> J: -ONE CHAPTER PER WEEK?  
> K: I CAN'T HELP IT.  
> J: YOU'VE POSTED FOUR.  
> K: THEY WERE THERE.  
> J: K A R T E R  
> K: Stop bullying me!  
> J: 200% done with you. Don't blame me if you die from sleep deprivation.  
> K: SHHHHHHHH.  
> J: NO.  
> K: YESSU. Enjoy the chapter everyone!
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING(S): None

**Scene III:**  
 _All the World's a Stage_

It was Saturday, June 18th, when a black van pulled up to The Ark studio grounds.

"Okay people, we all know the plan right?" Lenalee said as she turned in her seat to look at her two aspiring stars in the back of the car.

Allen just looked at his partner for an answer.

"Hm..."

Even without a proper response, Allen seemed to interpret it just fine. He turned back to Lenalee and said, "Yes, we know."

"Are you sure?" she asked them.

"Lenalee it's fairly simple," Allen told her.

Kanda joined in saying, "All we have to do is go into the building, meet some people, practice with them, then dance."

Allen just looked at him and said, "Okay not _that_ simple...but basically yeah."

"Alrighty then. Let's get this show on the road!" Lenalee said as she opened the car door and hopped out.

Kanda was about to follow her when he felt a small tug on his jacket. He looked back to see none other than the beansprout holding onto his sleeve. Despite his earlier bravado with Lenalee, Allen looked like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

 _"The hell?'_ Kanda thought. He'd never seen the beansprout like this, so to him it seemed really out of character. When he'd wanted Allen to drop the facades around him he didn't mean this. It was troublesome to say the least.

"...Hey, Kanda, how does that third slide go again? And that eighth step of the chorus? And everything else? Now that I think about it...oh, God, I've forgotten everything!" Allen said in a sudden panic, bowing his head between his legs.

 _'This idiot,'_ Kanda thought to himself. He wished Allen had told someone else about this. No doubt Lenalee would be a better comfort than he was. He didn't really know what he was supposed to do. He wasn't usually one to offer comfort to people. In fact, he had a strict handle-your-own-shit policy. But it was weird. Over the last week, he noticed that, in a way, the beansprout was the same. He always hated it when people tried to help him too much. He would insist that he was fine. But, unlike Kanda, he was always willing to help others. Whenever that 'other' was Kanda, it ticked him off to no end. But otherwise, Kanda secretly found it an admirable trait. He hated to admit it, but the beansprout was starting to grow on him.

However, this still left him with the problem of having his partner huddled in the fetal position with no sign of him moving any time soon.

_'Well, we can't have this now can we?'_

Suddenly, Allen felt himself flying through the air, only to land squarely on Kanda's shoulder.

"...Eh? H-hey! Bakanda! Put me down!" Allen protested, calling Kanda by his new nickname. He flailed in Kanda's grasp, but couldn't get loose. He felt like a sack of potatoes thrown over Kanda's shoulder.

"Give me one good reason," Kanda replied smoothly as he walked towards the entrance.

"What if someone sees us? This is humiliating!" Allen said as he started to blush.

"This is the back entrance, dumbass. No one is here but Lenalee. It's not like you were going to move from your fetal position anyways."

"I was NOT in the fetal positio-!"

Allen's retort was cut short when Kanda set him down none too gently in front of the entrance.

"Yes. You were. I don't know _why._  You're...better at this dance than I am," Kanda told him grudgingly, then walked away.

Allen was left there, stunned that Kanda had said something so nice. And to him no less. Then, "But _only_ this dance," Kanda continued with his customary smirk.

"Oi! I'll show you!" Allen said as he ran to catch up to Kanda, completely unaware that he had forgotten all his worries.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Lenalee, Kanda, and Allen were led to a dressing room where the latter two would be changing. When they got there, they found a huge vase of purple stephanotis and pansies on the counter. They were all baffled until Lenalee went up and plucked out a card tied to the neck of the vase. She started blushing as soon as she read it, piquing the interest of the two onlookers. Allen and Kanda gave each other a glance, and then sneaked up behind her to read it.

_My Sweet Lenalee,_

_I bought these flowers in hopes that they would cheer you up. The stephanotis are for good luck, and the pansies are for my constant thoughts of you. Congratulations on your first management position! I'm so proud of you._

_Love, Bak_

_P.S. Let's hope your brother doesn't intercept these. If he does, I'll be hiding until the show starts!_

Lenalee let out a soft giggle, and then gasped as she noticed her two fellow readers.

"What do you think you're reading!?" She asked them indignantly.

"Nothing! ...So...who's this Bak person?" Allen asked with the beginnings of a smirk.

Kanda just turned away with a click of his tongue, acting indifferent, but when Allen asked the question he turned his head to the side to listen.

"He's the host of the show you're going to be on. You know, The Ark. He also owns this place," Lenalee said, trying to recover from her previous embarrassment.

"That's not what I-"

"Let me rephrase that question for the beansprout. Who is he to _you_?"

 _'There, that should be what he fucking wanted to ask,'_ Kanda thought, feeling strangely irritated.

 _'Eh? Why is Kanda so interested? Hmph, whatever,'_ Allen thought as he pouted unconsciously.

"...He's...he's my boyfriend..."

Kanda and Allen just snapped to look at her. Boyfriend? In tandem they asked incredulously, "What about Komui?"

"I've...kind of kept it a secret from him. He knows Bak likes me, but not that we've been dating for..."

"How long?" Allen asked in shock, feeling weak at the knees. Komui could be terrifying, and now they were conspirators in keeping this whole thing a secret.

 _'Guess beansprout was interested in Lenalee. Whatever,'_ Kanda thought as his scowl deepened without him realizing it. For some reason, the thought...didn't sit well with him. Was it because he was growing protective of Lenalee? No, that wasn't it. What was this weird feeling?

 _'Well, Kanda looks upset. I guess he was interested in Lenalee...'_ Allen thought dully. The thought of Kanda and Lenalee dating flitted through his mind. Normally, he would have thought they looked good together, but he just...didn't like it. Probably because Kanda dating anyone was a weird thought. He didn't even know why he was lingering on it.

"Let's see, it's been...About two years."

After they heard that Kanda and Allen had two different responses. Allen let his jaw drop ungracefully, while Kanda was mildly shocked, but didn't really show it.

"I'm surprised your brother hasn't found out," Allen deadpanned.

"Tch," Kanda clucked as he walked out of the room.

"Eh? Kanda where are you going? Hey, wait!" Allen said as he ran to catch up to him leaving a puzzled Lenalee behind in the room.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Kanda!" Allen called again, as he caught up to the other after a few turns through the halls. He reached out to grab on to Kanda, but before he could Kanda spun around causing Allen to bump into him.

"Ah, s-sorry," Allen said as he looked up at Kanda who was right. In. His. Face.

 _'Agdbkakdbgakjabbgagdsda!'_ Allen mentally screamed as he sprang away from Kanda, who had reflexively spread his arms out to catch Allen.

 _'...What the fuck? Do I smell bad or something?'_ Kanda thought, feeling annoyed and offended that Allen had leapt away from him as if he had the plague.

The both of them were left in an awkward silence until Allen cleared his throat and asked, "So, why did you storm out so suddenly? Sad that Lenalee has a boyfriend?" Allen asked in an unintentionally irritated tone.

"I'm not like you, beansprout. By the way, give up; she's too old for you," Kanda answered, surprised by the spite in his voice, along with the trivial insul that slipped from his mouth. But nevertheless, his scowl remained on his face.

"What are you going on about? Besides, shouldn't I be saying that to you?" Allen told Kanda, starting to get annoyed for a reason he couldn't explain.

"No. Because she's not. You forget I'm not some shitty kid like you," Kanda retorted, suddenly angry for some reason. Then he stormed away to the practice rooms.

 _'What the hell was that all about? It's not like I like Lenalee. I don't like anyone period. Not in that way at least. _The beansprout needs to get his head out of the clouds,_ '_ Kanda thought to himself as he tried to sort out the emotions he had just experienced.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Very much the same thing was going through Allen's head as he stood there in the hall, left behind. As he was trying to name the weird feeling he got when he talked to Kanda, a thought struck him.

 _'Wait...If Kanda just left...how will I get to the practice room!?'_ Allen thought frantically.

Allen was wandering the halls of The Ark, lost, until he heard music.

 _'Ah! That must be it! Bakanda, wait 'til I get a hold of him. Leaving me there like that!'_ Allen thought as he entered the practice room the music was coming from. The first thing Allen noticed was that the room was much too small for all the dancers to practice in. The second thing he noticed was that Kanda was nowhere to be found. The third, and most shocking thing he noticed, was that a single person was dancing in the middle of the room.

And they were dancing _really_ well.

The person was a tall male with white pants, black high-tops, and a black t-shirt, sporting a headband to keep his shocking red hair out of his face. Allen was caught staring when the boy looked up at the end of the song. Silver and emerald met in a brief gaze before the red head blinked, smiled, and said, "Hi! I'm Lavi. Are ya lost?"

"Eh? How did you know?" Allen asked the boy.

"You seem the type," the boy replied bluntly, obviously good at reading people.

"Gee, thanks," Allen said sarcastically. "I'm Allen, by the way. Do you know where the main practice room is? My partner stormed off after we had a...uh...an animated discussion...and left me marooned in this maze of a building."

"I know the way. Actually, I was about to head there myself. You're a dancer in the first performance, too?" the red head asked.

"Yeah, you too?"

"Yeah! Hey, before we go, could you help me with something? I didn't get to see the last half of the dance. Could you dance for me really quick? I just need to see it once."

Allen was a bit puzzled by the specific request, but complied to the stranger. He hoped that this Lavi person would be able to get enough practice in for the second half. If he'd never even seen it before, the most difficult part would just be remembering everything.

"Okay," he said. "Where should I pick up from?"

"Could you start on the bit where the music switches on the second half of the remix?"

"Sure, do you have music?" Allen asked.

The boy just walked up to the CD player in the room and said, "I'm ready when you are."

Allen walked to the center, breathed in and out a few times, then pointed at Lavi to start.

At the end of the routine, he stood there trying to catch his breath. To his embarrassment, he heard whistling and clapping. He looked up to see the red head walking towards him with a big smile on his face.

"Wow! That was really good, man! I didn't think you could pull off a dance like that since you look so innocent but damn was I wrong!" the boy told him as he patted Allen on the back.

Allen just scratched the back of his head. "Thanks. My partner helped me get over the more...ahem...provocative parts. It's...actually just like you said. I was really embarrassed at first, but thanks to my partner forcing me to perform looking right into a mirror the whole time...I don't really know how it works, but it does. It kind of nullifies anything you find sexual about it."

"Well thank God your partner was there. She sounds great!"

Allen just gave him a look and said, "Lavi..."

"Yee?"

"This is an all boys dance number."

"..."

"..."

"Whoa! You're right. Haha, sorry! The way you talked about him made me think it was a girl you liked! You must be close," Lavi told him.

And that's when it hit Allen. The strange jealousy. The weird feeling. It all came together. And as soon as it did, Allen boxed it up and shoved it into a little filing cabinet in his mind labeled 'DENIAL: will process later.'

"...Ahaha...hahaha...m-m-me? Like that i-idiot? Nnnoooooo waaaaaay. Hahahaha you're crazy!"

"So you don't like him?"

"No!" Allen replied a little too quickly.

Lavi just gave him a knowing look. Something itched at the back of his mind, and he found himself stepping closer to Allen, a strong desire to mess with him growing inside him.

"What about me then?" he asked.

"...Pardon?"

"Do you like me?"

 

[Scene end.]

T. B. C.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> J: Thank you so much for reading everyone! Karter fell asleep so I'm posting the chap. I hope you all liked the chapter and if you did please give a Kudo. It actually means a lot more to Karter than he jokes about (and of course to me too!) Knowing you guys like the story gives him confidence. The reason he's posted so many chapters at once is for you guys after all! Again, thanks for reading!


	5. Scene IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***
> 
> K: Jessica's not here so I can say all the stupid things I want.  
> K: ...  
> K: When I die, put the sunglasses emoji on my grave.  
> K: ...  
> K: ...  
> K: *whines* JESSICAAAAAAA COME BAAAAAACK
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING(S): None

**Scene IV:** _  
Lord, What Fools These Idols Be_

_'Where is that idiot? Don't tell me he got lost? …No…no someone must have found him by now…right? Yeah…Yeah that idiot should be fine…'_  Kanda thought as he paced around the practice room. The main dancers hadn't arrived yet so he'd been practicing on his own. It had been at least half an hour since he'd gotten here. He had been expecting the moyashi to storm after him. To grab his arm and tell him to wait like he usually did. Not just stand there like an idiot. If Moyashi got lost, it wasn't  _his_  fault. Nope. No sir. But…

 _'Agh! It's almost time for practice to start. If he's gone it'll make me look bad since he's my partner so I'll go look for him,'_  Kanda tried to convince himself as he walked out nervously. But as he did, he bumped into none other than:

"Beansprout? Where the fuck have you been?" Kanda asked. Then he looked to the side and his anger swelled. Some stupid redhead had his arm over his….partner's shoulder. He couldn't explain this sudden surge of disdain. Nor could he explain why he grabbed the guy's arm and jerked it off of the beansprout's shoulder.

"Kanda! What are you do-" Allen yelled indignantly.

"Oi," Kanda cut him off, his voice dangerously low. He didn't even look at Allen, opting to glare at the redhead instead. "Who the fuck is this?"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"I'm sorry, what?" Allen asked after a few seconds of silence. Maybe he had heard wrong.

"I  _said_ , do you like me?" Lavi repeated.

 _There is_ no  _way this guy is serious...is he? No, he probably means it as a friend,_  Allen thought as he began to reply.

"Sure I like you. You're my friend, right?" Allen said, just to be safe.

Lavi was quiet for a second, his face blank. Then the moment passed and he said, "Yeah! Now, let's get to practice. I'll lead you there."

Lavi slung his arm around Allen's shoulders, then lead him through the halls.

Allen was left feeling like a total idiot when Lavi turned two corners and stopped.

"Here we are!" the red-head chirped.

"...Are you kidding me?" Allen groaned.

"Nope! Let's go in, it's almost time for practice to start."

Lavi opened the door, and was surprised to find an extremely pissed off man giving him death glare. However, what really shocked him was when the man grabbed Lavi's wrist and moved his arm roughly off of Allen.

"Kanda! What are you do-" Allen started.

"Oi," Kanda growled menacingly as he cut Allen off. "Who the fuck is this?"

"If you must know,  _Bakanda_ , this is one of the people dancing with us today. His name is Lavi. And if you aren't going to be nice to your  _own damn partner_ , at least be nice to him," Allen hissed, his dark side creeping out a little.

Kanda had never seen Allen so pissed.

_'Shit. I fucked up. But I am NOT fucking apologizing. Damn. Fuck.'_

As Kanda tried to think of a way to "apologize" without saying the words "I'm sorry" he loosened his grip on Lavi's arm. Allen noticed this and took his own hold on Kanda's upper arm. It wasn't forceful, but his gaze was. And it told Kanda to stop.  _Now_.

Kanda sighed and let Lavi go completely.

"Tch...listen, beansprout...I was...look about earlier...I shouldn't have...I mean, it's your own damn business if you like Lenalee anyways," Kanda finished with a scoff, failing to get his point across.

However, Allen had been hanging out with Kanda too much. He understood the "I'm sorry" hidden underneath the scowl. What he  _didn't_  understand was:

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait just a minute. What made you think I like Lenalee?" Allen asked in complete confusion.

"Do you think I'm stupid? Why else would you be so interested in her boyfriend?"

Allen refrained from answering the first question and skipped straight to the second.

"I was only teasing her about it.  _You're_ the one that likes her. You kept pressuring her about Bak, so don't try and hide it!" Allen argued.

"You're even more stupid than I thought you were. I only asked because I thought you wanted to know and you didn't have enough guts to ask."

"Wait. So you don't like Lenalee?" Allen asked.

"No, I don't do relationships," Kanda replied.

Allen winced internally and muttered, "Oh. I see."

There was an awkward moment of silence to which Kanda was oblivious before he said:

"Well we just wasted a lot of time we could be practicing. Let's get started."

"Ah, okay!" Allen said as he joined Kanda.

During this entire conversation. Lavi just kept looking back and forth between the two, observing them. It was a bad(?) habit of his. He picked up quite a few things from the conversation.

One, Allen and Kanda had very good nickname-ing talents.

Two, Allen had lied. He actually  _did_  like Kanda. Though whether he'd ever admit it was a different story.

And three, somewhere in the back of his mind, the scratching feeling had grown. Accompanying it was a mix of feelings, one of which poked at him with its unfamiliar claws. Jealousy. He was jealous? But why?

**xxxxxxxxxx**

A few minutes after that, the main performers came in and it was handshakes and introductions all around. They finished two hours of perfect practice, then said their goodbyes and started off towards their respective dressing rooms.

Allen and Kanda walked in silence, and as soon as they opened the door, they were dragged in by a very frantic Lenalee.

"Okay people, we've got two hours to get you sexy."

"What?" Allen and Kanda said together.

Ignoring their confusion, Lenalee started pushing them across the room.

"First of all, you two need to take a shower ASAP."

"WHAT?" they said in unison, both of them starting to blush. Allen went red while Kanda tried to pretend he wasn't and hide it with his hand.

"Me, take a shower with Bakanda?"

"I should be saying that to you beansprout."

"Use your brains both of you!" Lenalee cut in. "There are like five different stalls in there. Geez, now go!" she shouted as she shoved them in the shower room.

They looked around and there were indeed five stalls. But they were all completely open, with walls on only three of their sides and no curtains. This left the major question:

"I'm not stripping first," Allen said.

This statement flipped on Kanda's argue switch. "The hell you aren't. You might try and peek at me if I start first," Kanda quipped.

"How do I know  _you_  won't?" Allen retorted.

"Tch, don't flatter yourself Moyashi. Your sex appeal is  _zero_."

"How would you kn-"

" _I don't hear any water running!"_  an angry Lenalee said from outside.

"...Rock?" Allen asked tentatively.

"Paper." followed Kanda.

"...Scissooooors!" They both yelled. Allen's hand was a rock, while Kanda had paper.

"Dammit!" Allen said, muttering something like 'what idiot made paper beat rock?' as he then started to take of his shirt in a hurry, expecting Kanda to turn around.

Only he didn't, because he wasn't expecting Allen to be so gung-ho about stripping, leaving Kanda with a full view of Allen's six pack.

 _'What the hell? How the...'_  Kanda though, not realizing he was staring.

Seeing this, Allen said in a rare dark-Allen leak, "So, what was that whole thing about sex appeal Kanda? You might want to turn around, before it becomes to much for you."

Kanda sputtered and quickly spun around indignantly. Once Allen was completely stripped he walked into the farthest stall and called out that he was done, then turned on the hot water to enjoy the quick shower.

Meanwhile, an extremely confused Kanda just stripped and walked into the first stall...and turned on the cold water.

 _'What the_   _fuck?'_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kanda finished first, still trying to name the weird feeling he got around the stupid shrimp, and saw that Lenalee had put their performance clothes by the door. He changed after telling the beansprout about it then walked out. As soon as he did, three people were on him, dragging him to a chair in front of the long counter with mirrors. He didn't protest, because he had sort of expected this.

It was make-up time.

They combed his hair, they plucked his eyebrows, they freaking put eyeliner on him, clipped, filed, and painted his nails black, colored his lips a shade darker, thank god he had clear skin, so they chose not to do the foundation, though they did apply a bit of powder to set everything else. All this was happening as Allen walked out of the showers. He spent a whole three seconds laughing at Kanda before he was dragged off to the same fate.

"What the?" Allen sputtered as they plopped him down next to Kanda, who only snickered at his expense. Allen shot him a glare, but then his face was turned forward and he felt people messing with his hair. They pulled and they teased, until all of the back was styled in upward flips and spikes.

 _'Hey, this actually looks kind of cool,'_  Allen thought to himself.

Then he thought about something that should have occurred to him long before this. Something he'd been planning to do anyways.

"Excuse me, ma'am," he said as he tapped one of the make-up artists, a young assistant, on the shoulder. "Could you paint over my scar with silver?"

"Okay," she said as she did as he had asked.

"One more thing...could you remove the black paint from my right hand?"

"Why would you want to do that?" she asked in confusion.  _Where have a seen that before?_  She thought to herself.

Allen just smiled at a fond memory and said, "It's part of the look."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kanda and Allen's stylists finished at around the same time. As soon as they did, Allen and Kanda were dragged out by Lenalee. She hauled them through the corridors until they reached the backstage entrance. Once there, she shoved them inside with a "break a leg" then rushed off to find Bak before the show started. All the other dancers were there, including Lavi, who rushed over as soon as he saw Allen. He was thrown off balance when Lavi threw his arms around him. This guy had no sense of personal space.

"Allen~! You're here!" Lavi said making Allen blush from the proximity. "Eh? You're blushing! Could it be you're attracted to me after all?" he teased.

"Why do you have to be so fucking hyper all the time? You're like some stupid rabbit!" Kanda said angrily as he shoved between the two, breaking them apart.

"Bakanda! Geez, what's his problem?" Allen asked himself.

"We're on in five!" A random techy shouted to everyone backstage.

"Come on Allen! Let's go!" Lavi said, holding out his hand to Allen.

Allen smiled warmly at his friend and took his hand, letting himself be pulled on stage. All negativity flew out of his mind as the lights hit him and waves of cheering washed over him. This was it.

"It's show time."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Hello everyone! I'm your host, Bak Chan! Thank you for watching The Ark, where we have one female group and one male group performing every day! Our guests tonight are 2NE1 and 2PM! First up we'll have 2PM with a live dance! Let's go!" Bak said as the show went on air. He ran off the stage as smoke started to appear and the lights went down. The fans screamed as a spotlight appeared in the middle of the stage, revealing all the dancers in an arrow formation, all wearing white, and looking down so their hats were covering their faces.

They started moving to the music and the crowd went wild. They were twisting and turning, lights everywhere, and in the back were Lavi, Allen, and Kanda, dancing their hearts out as support dancers. None of them thought they were going to be popular. They thought 2PM would overshadow them. And they were right...that is...until one part where everyone in the back line switched with the front line for a few seconds. The screams doubled as people started staring at them too.

"So cute!" someone shouted at Allen, who smiled at the crowd.

"So hot!" someone exclaimed when they saw Lavi, who winked in the general direction.

"So sexy!" someone screamed when they saw Kanda's stoic expression.

They all danced even harder.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Allen and Kanda were getting cleaned up in the dressing room when Lenalee burst in. She was doubled over trying to catch her breath, her pigtail in a mess, as she tried to tell them something in between gasps.

"Lenalee? What's the matter? Are you okay?" Allen said in concern as he walked over to her with Kanda in tow.

As soon as they were in reach, she grabbed one of each of their shoulders in a death grasp and gasped, "Kanda...Allen..."

 _'Oh no, she's mad! What did we do now?'_  Allen thought as he braced himself for the pain that was sure to come.

Instead he got a pleasant surprise when he was wrapped in a tight embrace.

"Eh?" said Allen.

"Tch?" questioned Kanda.

"I knew it! From the moment I first laid eyes on you two, I knew you'd be great! I'm so proud of you two! Oh, my kids are growing up so fast!" Lenalee said with glee.

Allen smiled at her and said, "Why do I have this funny feeling that you aren't talking about the dance we just did?"

"Because I'm not, although that was really good too!" Lenalee said.

"Well, get on with it. What the hell are you so damn happy about?"

But even Kanda's less-than-chipper attitude couldn't bring Lenalee down as she told them, "You two have already gotten an offer!"

"And?" they both asked. It wasn't that uncommon for rookies to get a few little offers after their first performance. Albeit it was still pretty quick but...

" _And_  it's for the new, highly anticipated drama, The Demon!"

Kanda and Allen still had the annoying "And?" look on their face, so she decided to ruin the surprise for them.

"Did I mention it was for the  _lead roles_?"

[Scene end.]

T. B. C.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K: It's 3AM send help.


	6. Scene V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***
> 
> J: Karter is no longer allowed to type up chapter notes because he's a giant dumb.  
> K: Wow. Rood.  
> J: Shut up ur like 12.  
> K: WOW.  
> K: ROOD.
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING(S): Anxiety, Descriptive Trauma/Anxiety

**Scene V:**  
 _If Music be the Food of Love, Play On  
_

"The  _what?_ " Allen exclaimed as Lenalee broke the news to them.

"You heard me. Allen was offered the protagonist role of the Demon Slayer and Kanda was offered the antagonist role of the Demon Lord. The basic plot is-"

"I'm not doing it," Kanda cut in before Lenalee could finish.

"You're...what?" Allen asked him in complete shock.

"Not doing it. MANA didn't get involved in drama's until he'd built a stable fan base with his music career. That's what I'm going to do."

Allen froze. He wasn't expecting to hear that name here. Not so suddenly. To this day he still got a horribly painful feeling in his chest when he heard that name. At first he'd be sent into a panic riddled flashback when anyone said it. He'd be able to feel the blood on his hands and those eyes, normally full of warmth, go cold. But he'd gotten better, and people had found other things to talk about other than another dead pop sensation. Allen had moved on with his life, but every now and then someone would say it. Just a mention. And he'd be covering his mouth, closing his eyes, counting down from 10, breathing in out in out...Beginning on June 6th, Allen had been trying to suppress all of the memories of his father. It was harder now than ever before. Everything he did in show biz reminded him of Mana...Everywhere he went he'd see his father, hear his laugh, feel his hand reassuringly on his shoulder. He was a mess. It had been nearly a decade, and he'd convinced himself that he was walking forward, when really he was just stuck in the same place. After trying so hard to keep the memories and emotions in check while being constantly surrounded by things that could remind him of them, Allen had unknowingly reached a very dangerous breaking point. Now, hearing Mana's name after so long...it was like pulling the trigger on a gun aimed at the lock of his memories. The lock was burst open, and all of them came pouring out, like some twisted, personal Pandora's Box.

Allen stood frozen there just staring blankly at Kanda. His stare gave nothing away. It was cold. Closed off. And, for some reason, it unsettled Kanda.

"Beansprout?" Kanda whispered as he waved a hand in front of Allen. Nothing.

"O...oi...Beansprout...Quit messing around." Nothing. "Hey! Beansprout!" Kanda escalated into a shout as he got more desperate. This was bad. What had happened to Allen? "Goddammit  _look at me!_ " Kanda yelled as he shook Allen by the shoulders.

No response.

"-anda. Kanda! Calm down," Lenalee told him soothingly. "You're not helping anyone like that."

"Calm down? How can I calm down when someone turns into a fucking zombie right in front of my eyes?" Kanda said, raising his voice at Lenalee who had begun biting her lip.

"This is bad. I don't know how it happened, but this is  _really_  bad," Lenalee said, ignoring Kanda's outburst in favor of examining Allen. "This happened to me before, when my parents died. It's a sort of defense mechanism. When you go through a traumatic experience, you tend to develop one. Something one of us said must have triggered it. Try to think. He responded to your 'I'm not doing it" so it must have been after that..." Kanda couldn't really think straight at the moment, so he just watched as Lenalee stood there with her head down and her arms crossed. She was in this state of deep-thinking for what seemed like an eternity. Not nearly fast enough for Kanda's liking. What if Allen was getting worse? What was worse? What if he got stuck like this. What if-

 _'Pull yourself together and think,'_ Kanda berated himself, forcing himself to calm down.

Meanwhile, Lenalee almost had it. She felt the answer at her fingertips. _'Let's see, what did Kanda say after that?'_  she thought, _'He said he wasn't doing the drama again. It's not that. Something about a music career? No, it would have been triggered WAY sooner than this if that was the case...so what was before that...'_

That's when an idea hit her. A crazy idea. So crazy, it couldn't even be a conspiracy theory. She didn't even know how she had made that connection. It just...it couldn't be...could it?

"Kanda, stay with Allen," she said stiffly, "I'll be right back."

Kanda just nodded tersely and sat down on a chair across from the statue that was Allen.

"Come on, pick up..." Lenalee whispered nervously as she phoned her brother. He was one of the only four people that really got a look at the audition info. She doubted Miranda would remember, Reever was new, so he probably wouldn't know, and she didn't have her aunt's new number. That left her brother. She wanted to check with him first anyways.

 _"Lenalee~! My dear sweet sister! How wonderful a day it is that you would call me as I was just thinking of yo-"_  Komui cheered as he finally answered his cell.

"Brother," Lenalee said seriously, bringing his frivolous tirade to a close. "What is Allen's last name."

_"..."_

"Is there anything the matter?"

_"...I'm afraid it's not in my power to tell you. You'll have to ask the person himself."_

"I'm afraid I can't do what you say either, as Allen is currently incapable of replying. And if my hunch is right, it has to do with what I'm asking you."

 _"Something happened to Allen?"_  Komui asked sounding concerned.

"Yes, and I need you to answer the question."

_"...If my hunch about your hunch is right, you already know the answer to that, Lenalee."_

Lenalee just sighed. She took a while in responding. It was times like these where the protagonist in a movie takes a long, meaningful drag on a cigarette.

_'Too bad I don't smoke.'_

"Allen is Mana's son."

It wasn't a question, but Komui answered anyways.

_"...Yes."_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kanda's head snapped up to Lenalee as she entered the room again. She was alarmed when she didn't see Allen standing there, but Kanda only pointed to the couch. Allen was sitting there, with the same blank stare as before.

"I hope it was okay to move him," Kanda said.

"Yeah, no problem. That might be a good thing. We don't want him to snap out of it and collapse or something. Kanda, I'm sorry but could you leave the room?" Lenalee asked.

Kanda just raised an eyebrow and gave her a look that screamed "did you really just ask that."

"I don't care what kind of glare you give me, if you want Allen to recover, then you'll have to leave the room."

"Are you saying I'm responsible for this?" Kanda asked. He'd been expecting it to come out as a growl, but his voice sounded much weaker than he'd expected.

"What? No. Kanda, no. Just...I need to be alone with Allen for it to work. Please."

Kanda slowly backed away, then walked out, footsteps aggravated and heavy. He was confused, and on edge, and irritated, and dammit he was worried. He was worried. He was man enough to admit he was worried. Like crazy. I mean, any decent human would be right? Someone he'd been growing close to suddenly can't move or talk or do anything. Was he even breathing? Did he see him blink?

"Aaagh!" Kanda shouted, banging his head against the wall, as if that would dislodge all the uselessly buzzing thoughts inside. He turned around and slowly slid down the wall. He felt useless. All he could do now was wait.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Lenalee turned to Allen and walked slowly forward until she was standing just in front of him. Then she knelt down to eye level. The dead stare unnerved her, but she braced herself, clenching her fists in determination. She raised her arms, then gently laid her hands on Allen's shoulders.

"Allen," she cooed softly, as a mother would. "Allen, are you there? If you are, listen to me. I need you to listen."

She took a deep breath before she continued softly, "He's gone, Allen."

Nothing.

"Allen, Mana is gone."

She thought she saw his breath hitch, but she might have been imagining it.

"Mana Walker has been gone for eight years."

He blinked.

"Mana died, Allen. It's been so long. You're only hurting yourself. Please. Please, stop hurting yourself," she whispered.

Allen started to shake. Then his hands slowly came up to cover his face. Lenalee brought him close to her, holding him like she would a small child. And as soon as the first tear was shed, Allen just couldn't hold it in anymore. He cried - truly cried - for the first time since he'd lost Mana. Not just tear tracks on his face after a nightmare. Not just a silent breakdown in the shower. Not just a horrible terrible ache in his chest as he held back tears. He cried freely and openly and knowingly. He let loose all the feelings that he'd been bottling up, not just in these past few weeks, but for the past eight years of loneliness. He had finally reached the point where he just couldn't bear it anymore. He didn't _want_ to bear it anymore.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay...it's okay, Allen. Shhhh, you can cry now."

From his place in the hall Kanda heard the sound of sobs coming from behind the door. Rushing back inside, he found Lenalee comforting Allen as he cried into her shoulder. They hadn't noticed his entrance, so he stood there with an awkward feeling in his chest. His mind flashed back to a certain day, years ago now. A small child, a broken heart, stairs, fear, and a strong pair of arms. It was then that he realized why he and Allen clashed so much. That what made them contrast was their similarity. It shook him, how much they were alike, and how he'd failed to notice it until now. Unnerved, Kanda continued watching the scene with a morbid fascination. Seeing the shaking back of the white haired youth shook something loose inside of him. Something he'd though he'd locked away and shoved far out of reach.

He didn't like it. Not one bit.

What right did this kid have to come and mess him up so much? They'd barely known each other for a month now and already he felt like he'd been held upside-down for too long. Light-headed. Disoriented. Aggravated. What gave him the right? What gave him the-

"D-dad...!"

Kanda caught a single word in the middle of all the sobs. Another flash.

_"Mommy!"_

Too similar. Too close. He didn't like it. Not one bit.

_'Dammit...'_

The ride back to the Dark Order was a silent one. No one talked as they pulled up and got out. Allen was the first one to make it to the doors. He looked up, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw who was standing there, leaning against the counter. The man didn't react to Allen at all, except maybe to look even more pissed off. He finished one long drag on his cigarette before saying, "You've done it now, you bastard."

Allen just gulped and replied, "A-a-a-ah...you're b-back, Cross?"

"Cross!?" Lenalee whispered in shock. She tried to look around to see the one talking to Allen. They got a peek of red hair and glasses before Allen moved a bit and blocked their view.

"Who the hell is Cross?" Kanda asked in a hushed tone.

"Allen's guardian! He's notorious in the entertainment industry. He's always got info before other people. And he's got a lot more in stock that other's wouldn't even dream about. Sales, trends, rumors, scandals, competition. In other words, he's the one anyone goes to for information."

"...Information, huh," Kanda mumbled, making a mental note of that for later. Meanwhile Cross was scowling more than ever at Allen.

"Yes I'm back you imbecile. And just look what you've gotten yourself into."

"Cross, I-"

Cross roughly grabbed Allen by the collar and dragged him closer. "I thought I told you I would never let you get involved in show biz." He shoved an ashamed looking Allen away from him and flicked his cigarette in the direction of a black sports car. "Get in. I'm taking you home."

Lenalee's hands had flown to her mouth and Kanda stood there with nostril's flared. What the hell was Allen looking so ashamed for?

_'Come on, snap back at him! What the fuck is this? Why are yo just taking it you fucking dumbass?'_

Kanda felt anger flare in him - and dare he say disappointment? - when Allen just turned away and slowly walked towards the car.

"...I didn't know Allen was adopted," Kanda commented absentmindedly.

"I knew...b-but, not any details or anything," Lenalee quickly covered.

Kanda just raised his eyebrow and left it at that.

"What did that glasses bastard mean by not letting Allen get in show biz?" Kanda asked her.

 _'Well, I can understand why, but I can't tell Kanda that...'_  Lenalee thought guiltily. She couldn't think of anything to say so she just shrugged and said, "Who knows."

"Tch, pisses me off," Kanda grumbled. "I'm leaving."

"Eh? But we were going to talk about that drama deal."

"I already told you. I'm not doing it," Kanda replied in frustration.

"But you and Allen are a duo! Plus, Innocence just started out. It's weird to get separate jobs so soon!" Lenalee argued.

"I...Innocence?" Kanda questioned, getting a bad feeling about the term.

"The name of your 'group'. We were getting a lot of calls about you two already, and they wanted to know who you were. I can't just give them some no-names, so I had to come up with something that sounded cool. I thought to myself: hmm what do they both have in common? Then it hit me! You both act like kids! But I can't exactly call you 'Kids' now, can I?"

At this point, Kanda made the wiser decision to just nod and agree, like he knew what she was on about.

"Right, and the first thing that came to my mind when I thought about kids was how innocent they are. Plus it sounds cool. It's all about the look. The look!" Lenalee finished dramatically.

 _'Just nod and agree, Kanda,'_  he thought to himself.

Kanda started walking to his car and just before he got in Lenalee asked with high hopes, "So, will you do it?"

Kanda looked her in the eyes a long moment. His face relaxed and he sighed, seeming to give in. He looked back up at Lenalee and finally-

"Fuck no."

Then he jumped in his car and sped away, leaving behind an offended Lenalee.

"...You... _jerk_!" she yelled after him, but she smiled anyways and whispered, "Whatever, kid."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Allen walked inside and winced as Cross slammed the door behind him. He turned to face his livid guardian, and steeled himself for what was coming.

"What the hell is going through that useless brain of yours?" Cross asked quietly.

"Cross, let me explai-"

"And what, pray tell, would you explain? That you want to follow in your father's footsteps? That this was your only chance? That this is the only thing you've ever asked of me? Oh, or maybe we should start with explaining how you're a liar," Cross cut in, his voice oozing with a special brand of sarcasm.

Allen stood there in shock throughout the onslaught. Since when could Cross, of all people, read him like an open book? He winced again when he heard that last part.

"I...I'm sorry, Cross. I didn't mean to break the promise I made."

Cross plopped down in a chair, a bottle of wine already in his hands. He began to open it and said casually, "Then quit."

"...Wh...what?" Allen asked quietly, refusing to process that last sentence.

"All you have to do is quit show biz, then we can pretend this little breech of contract never happened. After all, if you 'didn't mean to break the promise' you should be able to stop right now."

"No."

Cross froze. That...was new. The brat must have been influenced by someone. He'd normally never be this bold towards him.

"What did you just say you little brat?" Cross said as he started to stalk towards Allen.

But Allen beat him to the punch. He stepped forward to meet Cross face to face.

"I said no."

Allen wasn't prepared for the punch sent straight into his gut.

Cross grabbed Allen by the collar before he could recover and pulled him up. "You're in my house, you follow my rules. Don't get cocky, brat," Cross was about to let Allen go, thinking he had thoroughly scared him, when he felt a fist slam into the right side of his face. He staggered and looked up, stunned to see Allen standing over him with his fists at his side.

 _'Damn brat grew a pair while I was gone,'_  Cross thought as he spat out a bit of blood from where a tooth had nicked his cheek. Allen stomped to his room, not saying a word, just leaving Cross there, leaning against the wall.

"Oi, what the hell do you think you're doing?" Cross asked, pissed off and itching to punch the kid back - never mind that he had hit him first.

Allen stopped with one hand on the knob. He turned his head slightly to say, "I think...no I'm sure...Father would have wanted me to stop lingering around. He would have wanted me to get up again. To keep walking. I made that promise long before this one. And _that_ promise...I don't intend to break it...Goodnight, Cross."

Allen's door closed with a soft snap, and Cross was left there, with nothing to do but search for something sturdy to kick.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

As soon as Allen got inside his room, he grabbed a bag. He started throwing clothes inside. Two pairs of pants, some t-shirts along with his white long sleeve button up. Underwear, toothbrush, and socks.

He walked over to his bedside table and picked up a picture frame. He ran his fingers along the edge tenderly. In the photo were three people. Two older men, who looked exactly alike, except one of them had lighter hair. The dark haired one had his right arm around the other, who had his left arm around a small boy smiling in the middle of the picture. He hadn't realized it when he left eight years ago, but his younger self had unconsciously stuffed the photo into the front of his backpack. Allen stared at the photo for a while, relishing the smiles on every single one of the faces as a melancholy feeling built in his chest.

"Wish me luck...M..." He had to say it. This was a step he had to take. A few deep breaths later and he decided to try something different. He thought of the first Christmas they'd all spent together. The smiles, the laughter, the happiness. It flowed into him. It didn't completely get rid of all the bad inside of him, but it was stronger. Yes. Yes it was definitely stronger.

"Wish me luck, Mana."

He felt like something changed a bit inside him. He suddenly remembered that he'd been able to say it once before. At the beginning of all of this. When he'd first resolved to start walking again. Maybe that was the trick. Mana had it figured out all along. To move forward, you can't keep looking in the dark. You've got to focus on the light. And keep walking.

Allen looked around his room one last time, getting a strange sense of deja vu. He put on his sneakers and a black hoodie, then slung the back pack over his shoulders as he slowly opened his door.

 _'No sign of Cross. Good. He either left, or went to sleep. Either way works for me,'_  Allen thought as he sneaked towards the front door. All of a sudden, he felt little needles shoot up his leg and his back, only to settle on his head. When he felt a suspicious tugging on his hair accompanied by a damp feeling, he reached up to pull a small little furball of his head.

"Tim, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Allen whispered. That was a close call; he had almost screamed. Almost. "I promise I'll come back for you if they allow animals at the dorms, okay?" Allen told Tim as he set him down in the catbed by the door. Tim just purred and nibbled on Allen's finger. "Good boy."

Allen opened and closed the front door as quietly as possible.

"I wonder if Taxi's are still running right now..." he mumbled to himself as he trudged off the doorstep and onto the sidewalk.

Unbeknownst to Allen, a pair of eyes watched him from behind a tree in the yard. As he watched Allen stop a yellow car and climb in, Cross took another drag on his cigarette.

"Idiot apprentice. You should've packed faster. Made me stand out here for half an hour."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Here you are, kid," the taxi driver said to Allen.

"Thank you, here," Allen said as he paid him and got out.

He walked up to the dorms beside the Dark Order and knocked on the door. After a few minutes, a very sleepy and disheveled looking Komui greeted him. He looked confused when he saw Allen standing there.

"Allen? What are you doing here so late? It's nearly midnight."

"Ah, well, actually I need a place to stay, and was planning on moving here anyways. Is there room?"

Komui blinked then a smile spread across his face. "Of course there is. Come in, it's great to have you. Ah lets see, I think we were going to give you room number 7 on the second floor. It's a bit shabby, but it's comfortable.  _Aaaaaah_  make yourself at home," Komui yawned as he waved Allen off. Allen thanked him and climbed up the stairs. Exhausted, he stumbled into room 7, dropped his bag on the floor, and climbed into the first bed he bumped into without even bothering to change into the pajamas he'd brought. Withing seconds he was fast asleep.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Allen was rudely awakened by a scream of "what the _fuck_ " in his ear. He flailed about in panic, resulting in him falling off the bed in a heap, pulling the covers and something heavy off with him. That something landed on top of him, and was surprisingly comfy. Until...

"Beansprout, either you give me a very fucking good reason why you're in my bed or you're going to be wishing you were dead. Very. Very.  _Soon,_ " Kanda growled into Allen's face.

Allen looked forward only to notice a shirtless Kanda in a very compromising position above him. All he could do was sputter, "Ah well ya see I-I was I mean I didn't really _know_ that is um I...I...it's all Komui's fault!" Allen yelled as he threw his arms up in defense.

"...You call that an explanation? You're dead!" Kanda said as he made a grab for Allen, who somehow managed to wiggle out of the way. Instead, Kanda got a hold of Allen's shirt, which was taken off in Allen's mad dash for safety. Allen scrambled to his feet and leaped for the door. As soon as possible he was running through the hall and down the stairs with Kanda close at his heels.

"Good morning, brother," Lenalee said as she rubbed her eyes and walked up to the breakfast table in the lounge.

"Good morning my dear sweet sister~! Indeed, what a beautiful day it is that I can see you first thing in the morning!" Komui rejoiced as he spun around in circles. He draped himself over his sister, who was trying to pull him off when they heard shouting upstairs.

"Eh?" Lenalee said, "Brother, did someone new move in?"

' _I could have sworn I heard Allen's voice right now.'_

"Ah yes!, Allen ran away from home!"

"WHAT!?" Lenalee shouted. "Wait...what room did you put him in?"

"The one we assigned him to. Room 7. Why?"

Lenalee looked menacingly at her brother, "Brother...did you forget to tell Allen anything?"

Komui put on a thinking face for about five seconds, then it hit him. "Whoopsies."

 _"You're dead!"_ they heard Kanda shout as a crash sounded up stairs. Footsteps ran along the ceiling and Lenalee and Komui followed the noise to the stairway.

"Three. Two," Lenalee prepared as she covered her ears.

"I SWEAR IT WASN'T MY FAULT!" Allen yelled at Kanda as he ran into the room and leaped over the table to escape. He turned around to face Kanda who was at the other end of the table, ready to see blood.

"It wasn't your fault you were  _in my bed?_ " Kanda growled.

"I was tired! And it was dark! I didn't know what I was doing!" Allen pleaded.

"Then what were you even doing in my room!?" Kanda yelled back.

"It...it..." Allen said avoiding Kanda's gaze, trying to look for a way out. Then he spotted Komui and pointed, "It was  _him!_  Komui, how could you not tell me Bakanda was in there?" Allen said, both him and Kanda now moving towards Komui with murderous intent.

"Meep!" Komui squeaked as he hid behind his sister.

All of a sudden, Lenalee raised her hand, making them all pause.

"Can I ask a question?" she said, sounding dead serious.

"Uh...sure?" Allen responded, pausing in mid step.

Lenalee looked at Kanda and Allen and asked, "Mind telling me why, apparently, you were both shirtless in bed together?"

"Eh?" Allen and Kanda said simultaneously, looking down as if they barely noticed their lack of clothing. Allen immediately started to blush and Kanda brought a hand up to pinch the bride of his nose.

"Wait, don't tell me...something happened? Aah I didn't know you guys swung that way~" Lenalee teased. She was planning for the joke to ease the tension, but apparently jokes flew over Kanda's head.

"Tch, I'm not attracted to anyone. I don't do relationships," Kanda said to Lenalee.

An unexpectedly awkward silence hung in the air. Most of it centered around one white-haired individual who was suddenly looking extremely uncomfortable.

"...Yeah, and Allen here is too cute to be straight hahaha," Lenalee joked to try and lighten the mood.

"I...I...I'm..." Allen stuttered nervously, backing away slowly.

Lenalee was left standing there wide-eyed. "Eh? Allen are you actually gay?" she asked him, a bit shocked. She had just been joking around. Homosexuality wasn't something you'd see every day in Korea. Not that it didn't exist, but that sort of thing just wasn't something you talked about here.

Allen just hung his head and stayed silent. He hadn't wanted them to find out this way. If he could help it, he didn't want them to find out at all. Especially not...

"Well there's your answer."

Allen's head snapped up to look at Kanda as soon as he heard his voice.

"What? You look like you're about to interrogate someone,it's fucking creepy. It's not like it matters anyways."

Allen just gave a small, grateful smile in Kanda's direction.

"I know, I was only curious. Besides I'm used to it," Lenalee said, twitching her head in her brother's direction.

"Eh? Komui, you too?" Allen said, loosening up thanks to Kanda's ice breaker and Lenalee's natural acceptance.

Komui just coughed into his fist and said, "Ahem, I don't know what you're talking about, but-"

"Oh, don't play dumb with me. I know exactly how you 'persuaded' Reever to move into the dorms. Convenience's sake my ass."

"Ahba gah but buh uh I ah um-! Lenalee! Not in front of the children!" Komui shouted.

Allen and Kanda just looked at each other, and slowly tiptoed up the stairs to get changed, and escape from the two bickering siblings.

After that rather embarrassing incident was dealt with, everyone was left sitting around the table. Kanda, Lenalee, Komui, and Reever- who Allen learned  _all_  live in the company dorms - and Miranda were gathered around the breakfast table on the first floor, discussing what to do.

"Alright, everyone," Lenalee said to get their attention, "Since _someone_ doesn't want to do the drama for personal reasons, and since it hasn't been outlined speciically in his contract yet, we can't really stop him. Especially since the official auditions have not even happened yet." - Kanda squirmed a bit in his chair - "The drama, Demon, is being postponed by two months in order for them to scout more people. Allen, the auditions are a bit different." Lenalee said now addressing Allen. "There's two steps to it. The actual auditions are the second step. The first step is to pair every Demon Slayer with a Demon King. Then, they'll audition together. These two steps may be repeated to find better combinations as they go along. So, one of the reasons they postponed was to find you a suitable partner. Their scouts are combing Seoul as we speak."

"That's good then, but what are we going to do in the two month gap we have?" Allen asked her.

Then he heard a small 'ahem' to his right. When he looked, he saw Miranda holding a stack of papers.

"I-I-I'm in charge of sched-d-dules. Lenalee and I already booked you guys for the entire two months, l-l-leaving a bit of room at the end in c-c-c-case they find your partner and y-you need time to p-p-practice," she managed to stutter out.

"Wow, thanks Miranda!" Allen said. Then he and Kanda felt a dark aura from their left. They turned slowly to see Lenalee and Komui grinning evilly in their direction.

"Yeeeessss, but aside from that~" Komui began.

"We're working you to the booone~" Lenalee cackled.

"Ssssooo you'd better sleep all day today~"

"Becaussse tomorrooow~"

" _You enter Hell!_ " they both finished maniacally, going off to chat about all the money the company will make and how well they were using their assets. Miranda ran away in fear.

"..." Allen and Kanda sat there stunned.

"Ah, that's right," Reever commented, "Those two, when it comes to keeping the company up, they're like devils. Don't say I didn't warn you. Oh, I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Reever Wenham. Just call me Reever. I help Komui with choreography, but I also teach guitar."

 _'So this is the guy who...with...Komui...'_  was the basic thought process of the two throughout his introduction.

"Wait, did you say guitar?" Allen asked, getting his mind out of the gutter. "Great! I've been meaning to learn more, but I can only get so far so fast teaching myself," Allen told Reever.

"That's good then, when you both have time, I'll be glad to give you lessons."

"That would be amazing. Right, Kanda?" Allen chirped.

"Hn," Kanda agreed.

"Yup I thought so too," Allen said.

 _'How the hell can he translate that? Sounded like a normal grunt to me. Oh well,'_ Reever thought.

"I'm going to get us some food, the fridge is empty. You guys want anything specific?" he asked them.

"I'd like some dango. Kanda?"

"Soba."

"Alright, be right back!" Reever said.

"Anyways," Lenalee said as she and Komui returned to reality, "We need to go over the schedule you will have."

"Oi, Komui," Reever's vice came from the doorway. "I'm going to need help carrying all the bags. Wanna come with?"

"Coming~!" Komui said as he followed Reever outside.

Once they were gone, a stunned Allen said, "Did Komui...just leave Lenalee?"

"...I...think?" Kanda muttered, doubting what he saw himself.

" _Ahem_. Now, where were we?" Lenalee said, surprisingly sweet. Scarily sweet.

Allen and Kanda glanced at each other for reassurance, then they realized what they were doing and turned away.

"...Okay...Well, here it is. You have two promo videos, another dance gig for 2PM, and one commercial," Lenalee listed.

"That doesn't seem like much," Kanda said, sensing that there was more to come.

"That's because I'm not  _finished_ yet. You're doing the commercial first thing tomorrow. It's for DHC skin cream, and you'd better thank Bak for helping me get you that one. His show is one of their main forms of advertisement, so he has connections."

 _'Skin cream?'_ Allen thought doubtfully, his hand unconsciously tracing over his scar.

"That explains the lack of auditions," Kanda stated.

"Yes. That, and he showed them your photos and they love both of your naturally clear skin. And Allen, they don't mind the scar. They'll just cover it with silver like you did for the dance. In fact," she said, rummaging in a folder left on the table. She pulled out a photo of Allen, then flipped it to reveal a scrawl of writing on the back. She held it out for Allen to take. He brought it close and read it.

_The scar isn't a bad thing. It adds a realistic touch to out commercial. And for some reason I think it would look stunning if we go with the silver as you suggest. Looking forward to the shoot._

"The director of the commercial wrote that. Be sure to thank him later."

Allen could only slowly nod.

"I digress; you don't have to do much for the commercial. I think you guys only talk at the very end, so there's no script. They'll probably want to take a bunch of photos, too, since they're planning to make posters, so you'll be there pretty late. You'll go to the studio first thing tomorrow, so rest up."

 _'Wait...when did they get our photos?_  'Allen thought, suddenly a bit disturbed.

"Now, onto the first PV. The PV is for someone else. A new girl group, but that's a minor detail. You two will just be extras in the background. It's filmed in a cafe; I believe you guys will be waiters. You only have to be there for half a day, but do your best. That will be filmed two days from now."

"Why do I have a feeling you still haven't told us something really important?" Allen asked nervously.

"Hold on I'm getting there. Your dance rehearsals with 2PM will start as soon as you get out of the PV shooting, so make sure you're ready. The rehearsals will last until eight, but don't even  _think_ of resting. It'll only depress you, since you aren't going to be getting more than a few hours of sleep. After practice with them Komui will keep teaching you until you collapse. You boys are going to haul ass to get this job done, are we clear?" Lenalee said menacingly.

"..."

"I'll take that as a yes. You only have a week to learn two dances. When you aren't with 2PM you'll be with Komui and Reever. You still with me?"

"Hn."

"Yep."

"Okay, so now is the finale. You may have noticed that all this only takes up nine days total out of your two months, and now you only have one PV left. That's a lot of empty space. This is why. Innocence – ah, that's right Allen doesn't know. That's the name of your group. Well, technically it's a duo, but I digress. The second PV will be the debut of Innocence as their own group. It will show in two months, which will be when Allen starts filming The Demon. Assuming he gets the role that is. You  _will_  get the role,  _won't you?_ " Lenalee threatened Allen who nodded his head vigorously.

"Hold on," Allen pondered, "How are we going to make our own PV if we don't have a... _Oh no,_ " Allen suddenly blanched.

" _Oh yes,_ " Lenalee cackled maniacally.

Kanda was left looking back and forth between the two. "What the hell are you guys talking about."

"Ask the demon standing in front of you," Allen said weakly, pale faced.

Kanda just raised an eyebrow at Lenalee, who said, "You need to make a CD."

"Okay?"

"Let me clarify," Allen suddenly pitched in, "She expects us to make an entire CD in less than a two months. That means thinking of a song, writing the lyrics, finding a melody, deciding on harmonies, who sings what, what notes what instruments should play, possibly learning a few instruments, recording, editing, and  _repeating_ all of that for each song. Which will probably be ten to fifteen times. Not to mention actually publishing and making the CDs and putting them in stores. All of that usually takes, well, let's say  _way_  more than two months. And we have to do it in less than two while worrying about what the PV for it will be like? Forget it..." Allen finished. He looked at Lenalee and said, " _But_...I'm sure as hell going to try. We might be able to do it if we only do a mini album. Five songs. And if we don't die of exhaustion."

Kanda was staring at Allen, and although he was a bit daunted by the overwhelming task of making their debut, he was more curious about one thing...

"How the hell do you know all this information?"

Allen looked at Kanda, and something strange happened. Kanda saw something unusually cold in Allen's usually smiling face. It was like iron shutters banged shut behind his eyes as he said, "That's none of your concern."

"What did you just say to me, fucking beansprout?" Kanda growled quietly.

 _'Dammit. Allen and his show biz complex! I'd better do something,'_  Lenalee thought.

"Ahahaha, ha, Allen was just kidding, Kanda. He knows that because of...of...uh...oh! His guardian, Cross. Yeah, him!"

Kanda wasn't buying it just yet, but he dropped the issue.

Allen shook his head as if realizing what had just happened.

"Ah, I...I'm going to bed."

Then Allen walked upstairs without looking Kanda in the face.

"Well, ah...Kanda, could you make sure you guys wake up at 6 am?"

"Whatever. Anything else?"

"Yeah, your first CD will be called 'The Heart', and Reever is back with your soba."

Kanda's head snapped around to the door where Reever and Komui were stumbling in with a ton of groceries.

"Lenalee~~! I missed you~!" Komui squeed as he threw the bags away (which Kanda caught reflexively) in favor of hugging his sister.

"I guess you're helping me then. C'mon," Reever told Kanda as he dragged him to the small kitchen.

Once they were away, Lenalee said, "Brother?"

"Mmyeees, my sweet sister?" Komui said, still draped over her shoulders.

"Your shirt is inside out, and you're wearing Reever's shoes."

"..."

"..."

"Heeey! Did you guys need any help ahahaha..haha. Ha..." Komui said as he wandered off in embarrassment.

"Oh boy..."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Oi, if we're done here, I'm going to bed," Kanda told everyone as he started walking upstairs.

"Goodnight!" they all chimed.

Kanda waved without looking back and opened the door to find the beansprout passed out on the other bed.

 _'Shit, I almost forgot he was staying here,'_  Kanda thought as his heart skipped a beat...in surprise. Against his better judgment, he walked over to Allen's bedside and crouched down so Allen's face was only a little bit away from his. On an impulse, he tucked a bit of Allen's hair behind his ear.

 _'It's soft,'_ he thought simply.

"You're only my partner," Kanda whispered, thinking out loud, "You're just some stupid beansprout that I met a while ago. I don't know anything about you."

He leaned a bit closer to looked at Allen, from his soft white hair, to his long eyelashes, to his small straight nose, to his strange scar that accented his sculpted cheekbones, all the way to his small chin and surprisingly strong jaw.

"I don't know anything...So why am I so interested?"

Kanda stared at Allen for a few more seconds, then got up and went to get ready for bed.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

As soon as he got upstairs, Allen got changed, brushed his teeth, and promptly proceeded to viciously murder his pillow.

"Gah! Why did I have to snap at Kanda of all people! Stupid! You idiot! Aaaaaah," Allen roared, and was in the middle of trying to bite his pillow's head off when the door knob started to turn. He instantly moved the pillow under his head and tried to look as passed out as possible.

He heard the door open and close, then a small gap of silence.

 _'It must be...Kanda?'_  Allen wondered. ' _What is he doing?'_

Then, to Allen's surprise, he heard footsteps walking  _towards_  him. It took a huge amount of effort to remain relaxed as he sensed Kanda get closer. His heart nearly leaped out of his chest when he felt a tender hand brush some hair behind his ear.

 _'Kanda? No, who is it? Kanda wouldn't do this. Especially not to me,'_  Allen thought bitterly.

"You're only my partner."

 _'Believe me I know...wait...Kanda! How...why...?'_  Allen thought as Kanda continued.

"You're just some stupid beansprout that I met a while ago. I don't know anything about you..." Kanda said as Allen felt him lean closer. His heart stopped when he heard Kanda whisper, "...I don't know anything...So why am I so interested?"

 _'Eh? No...he...he can't mean it_ that _way. No way...'_

Then he heard the slight rustle of clothing as Kanda got up and walked away, leaving a very confused Allen behind.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

In the morning, Kanda and Allen were no different from their usual selves. Allen woke up early, quietly did his arm exercises, fell back asleep, Kanda woke up, showered, kicked Allen awake, they bickered, and Allen went into the restroom to shower.

Kanda sat down on the bed and thought long and hard about why he'd acted the way he had been acting around the beansprout.

Allen splashed some water in his face and looked at himself in the mirror. He then opened his mental filing cabinet with the big label of DENIAL, and finally took a look at the contents.

They both went through a check list of behaviors typical for their suspicions.

Allen started his list.

_Pounding heart?_

Kanda started his.

_Twisting gut?_

_-_

_Breath hitching?_

_-_

_Weird sensitivity to what they do?_

_-_

_You tense up around them?_

_-_

_You bicker all the time?_

_-_

Once they went through their lists, the conclusion stared the both in the face. Only one thing ran through their minds:

_'Shit.'_

[Scene end.]

T. B. C.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've already started recieving supportive messages about the newest updates. Thank you so much! We aren't lying when we say comments really help. Chapter five was the direct result of a very well thought out message of support and hours of work directly afterwards. Even small comments can be very motivating. So please, leave kudos and comments if you enjoy someone's work (not just ours). We aren't mind readers, so we love seeing people say "hey I like what you're doing!"
> 
> We look forward to writing for you all even more!


	7. Scene VI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***
> 
> K: *strums guitar*  
> K: I really like this chapter~  
> K: I mean like a lot~  
> K: It's really fucking cheesy~  
> K: But I don't give a SHIT~  
> K: Anyway, here's Show Biz
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING(S): Breakdown

**Scene VI**  
 _Some Cupid Kills With Arrows, Some With Rabbit Traps  
_

It was Kanda's turn to file away his feelings for later processing.

It wasn't that he was in denial, no, he just needed some time to think...but now wasn't that time. Too much was happening right now to be concerned with such things. Plus, he hadn't even been in a relationship before. At least, not a successful one...He was confused as to what he should do, or whether this was really - for want of a better term - him  _liking_  Allen, although he'd never admit that to anyone. Especially himself. He tried to tell himself that he had just met the Moyashi only half a month ago. They fought all the time. This was just a passing fancy. A "crush" as they call it. He would be over and done with it in no time, and he could carry on with his life. Wipe his hands. That's that.

It didn't once occur to Kanda that he was homosexual. He didn't really like constraining things into a single word. Labels...he got why they existed, but at the same time felt no need for them. Kanda had never been concerned about something as trivial as sexualities anyways. Who cares if you were straight or homosexual or bisexual or any sexual or no sexual at all literally  _who cares._  He didn't see what the big deal was when it was all the same emotion called love in the end. This was just him happening to like a guy. A very delicate looking but surprisingly toned guy- _'Stop it. Get out of my head you damn sprout.'_

This was something that could be thought of later. After all, they were partners. They weren't going anywhere any time soon. If the need ever arose, Kanda would have plenty of time to sort things out with the Beansprout later.

Right?

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Allen finished his shower and got dressed in a daze. Of course, he had known he liked Kanda. He just hadn't really wanted to admit it. He hadn't realized just how precariously he was teetering on the edge of the figurative cliff, and he didn't think he'd be ready to fall any time soon. He had never had much luck with the people he'd loved...he didn't want to ruin the weird, bickery, unstable friendship he and Kanda had developed in the past two weeks. Sure it was a bit strange, but it was nice. Stable. Or so he'd thought. But now there was just no denying the allure he found in the other. It had started out as appreciation. Physically, Kanda was undeniable attractive. But it had become more than that when he realized Kanda's true personality wasn't bad. Not bad at all actually. And though they were different, they were also very similar in many ways, and it only served to draw him in more, and more, until he was caught.

However, he still wasn't exactly sure  _why_  he was so attracted to Kanda. He had no specific, solid, and steady founding for his feelings. Like Kanda had said last night, they knew virtually nothing about each other. But maybe that was it. Maybe it was precisely because he didn't know anything about Kanda that he was so interested. It was his drive to know more that pulled him closer to the man.

Why was he so cold? Why did he hide what he felt? How was his family? Did he...did he  _have_  a family? Why didn't he ever talk about himself? Why was he so interested in...in his father? In  _him_?

That was another thing. What the hell did Kanda mean when he said he was interested in Allen?

 _'Saying those kinds of things...doesn't he realize that he's just getting my hopes up?'_  Allen thought, feeling drained.

Allen looked at himself in the bathroom mirror and was surprised to see a frail, tired, drained person looking back at him. He couldn't help asking himself why anyone would be interested in him. He was damaged goods. Maybe beyond repair. His retail value was at rock bottom, and he was convinced it was never going to get any higher. Everything about him was out of order. Like a jigsaw puzzle that had the wrong pieces forced into the wrong place.

_'That's it.'_

That's what he _really_ wanted. Wasn't it? He needed someone to take him apart, piece by piece, so that not even the twisted image of the messed up puzzle was left. Just a blank slate. He needed some one to do that, and then put the pieces back in order. Or at least, help him figure it out for himself. But that was impossible. Allen himself couldn't even do it. No way was he expecting someone else to be able to, much less _want_ to.

He splashed his face with water one last time and murmured, "Come on, Allen. This isn't like you. Wake up. Smile. Keep walking."

Yeah, keep walking. Easier said than done. But Allen wasn't about to stop. He had stayed still long enough. He had to get moving again.

 _'But not like this...'_  Allen pondered, as his mind once again returned to the thought of Kanda. Frustration ate away at him and he pulled at his hair to relieve a growing headache.

What was he going to do? He couldn't avoid the fact that he liked Kanda, no matter how confused he was about it. He wasn't worried about that. He was worried about how to hide it.

Yes, hide it. There was no way he could let Kanda, or anyone, know about this. After all, Kanda most likely wasn't in to men. Into anyone, according to him. Plus, he had made it perfectly clear:

He didn't do relationships.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Alright both of you take a break," the director said to Allen and Kanda.

They had been shooting for a few hours already, and both of them were ready to relax for a bit. They sighed and stretched out the stress built up in their muscles.

So far the shoot had gone well. They got there about fifteen minutes early and greeted all the staff and crew in the studio. Then they had been whisked away to change. The staff made full use of Kanda and Allen's polar opposite looks. They had dressed them both in suits with ties, but while Kanda wore all black with a white tie, Allen wore all white with a black tie. They painted Allen's left hand nails black (upon his prior request), and painted the right ones white; they did the opposite for Kanda. The theme was clean cut colors, so the shooting area was all white, with all red props. Red couch, red pedestal, red ribbon, red petals, red bottles for the products – although those were only for special order packaging. It all came together in a very elegant fashion.

The motto for this series of commercials and photos was: "Do you want to know the secret? It's DHC."

They had Allen and Kanda sit on the couch once they were done getting ready, and the only instructions the director gave them were, "Pretend you have a secret that everyone wants to know, but you're choosing to tell your partner. Make it special. And if you have to talk, whisper."

The director proceeded to told them to act natural and all that jazz, then started filming.

Of course "act natural" is exactly what you tell someone to make them act as unnatural as possible. They were both suddenly hyper-aware of any and all movements they made. It was as if their knowledge of natural flew out the nearest window. A few minutes of no-go takes later and Kanda was frustrated as all hell. He breathed deeply to calm his nerves and settled on finding a way to fix things.

 Allen saw a small movement out fo the corner of his eye, then heard Kanda whisper, "Psst..."

Allen turned when Kanda got his attention. The other just jerked his head in a come-over-here motion. Allen caught on to Kanda's act. It clicked almost immediately that this was leading to some sort of set up. He was glad Kanda had broken through the tense air first because once that had been done he found himself loosening up. Deciding on a course of action himself, he walked around the back of the couch and leaned over Kanda's shoulder. Allen tugged on his sleeve, as if trying to coax something out of the long haired man. Kanda looked both ways before leaning towards Allen and cupping his hand in front Allen's ear, shielding him mouth at the same time. Allen thought the act would end there, but then Kanda whispered, "Soba is my favorite food."

Allen blinked in slight confusion, then looked at Kanda, who just nodded as if to confirm something. In a split second he caught on and broke into a huge smile, grateful that Kanda had shared this small fact with him. It was genius really. Not only was it a way to make the scene and their reactions more realistic, but it also made Allen feel like they could become closer without being too awkward about it.

"Aaaand CUT! That was good! An excellent take! You guys have a nice air around you. Keep going, try the same thing but a different scenario," The director shouted as the cameras started rolling once again.

Allen re-positioned himself on the red stool to the left of the couch. He sat there with his hands between his legs on the stool, giving Kanda furtive glances. Kanda just raised an eyebrow at the behavior. Allen scooted over about half way on the stool, then coughed softly into his hand and patted the now empty area. Kanda looked around then pointed at himself, as if asking whether Allen was talking to him or not. Allen just nodded and patted the seat again, a bit more enthusiastically. Kanda got up slowly and walked over to sit down next to Allen. They were extremely close on the small bar stool. Allen's right leg was hanging off, as was Kanda's left. They both sat facing forward, side by side.

 _'This is nice_ ,' Allen thought - and he'd be lying if he said he hadn't planned for this exact outcome - as he leaned in and turned his head sideways towards Kanda. Then Kanda felt something smooth being placed into his palm. He looked down to see that Allen had slipped him a bottle of DHC product - just when had he picked it up? - as he whispered, "My favorite food is mitorashi dango. I can eat 30 in one go."

Kanda's eyes widened at the ridiculous statement, which was the effect that Allen wanted. Then he brought his fingers to his lips, winked, and went, "Shhh."

The director even forgot to yell cut this time. The cameramen had to stop on their own.

 _'Those two work extremely well together,'_  he thought, immersed in their surprisingly good sync. He was apprehensive of the tense air that had surrounded them at first. Typical of newbies. Plus, the two looked and acted like such opposites that most people would never expect it, but they balanced each other well. And he was pleasantly shocked at how fast they'd adapted.

Things went on like this for a few hours. They filmed scene after scene. Scenario after scenario. All of which leads us back to our current situation.

Allen and Kanda were currently on break, and Allen was scarfing down as many of the snacks he could cram into his mouth. Kanda just stared at him slack jawed and completely forgot about the soba he'd been eating. He'd be lying if he said he didn't feel a little squeamish or even a bit impressed.

"Where the hell does that all go?" Kanda asked him incredulously. He kept staring at Allen's belly, as if wondering when it would explode.

Allen just gulped down his most recent bite and blushed. "Ah, well, I haven't always had a really fast metabolism. I started eating a lot as a bad habit I picked up from...someone...And for some reason, instead of getting fat, my metabolism just sped up to match. I guess it's because I was a really active kid. Now it's stuck that way. Actually, my doctor said if I didn't eat so much, I'd probably be extremely malnourished."

"Does your doctor know that your 'nourishment' consists of a dozen doughnuts?" Kanda asked bluntly, letting it slip that he'd been counting.

Allen just laughed and said, "No, I guess not!"

The director came over to them in the midst of their conversation and said, "Hello you two! So, how is your first shoot so far?"

"Fine," Kanda said, unintentionally gruff.

"Kanda, don't be rude," Allen said, nudging him in the side. "It's been an amazing experience so far. Thank you for choosing us for something like this."

"Ah," Kanda agreed.

"Hmhmhm," the man chuckled, "It's my pleasure. You two turned out to be perfect for this. I wanted to take the opportunity to tell you that you work very nicely together."

Allen just blushed a bit and mumbled a thank you, while Kanda just clicked his tongue.

The old director smiled at their different ways of being shy, then said, "It's going to take a while to set up for the photo session. We need to prepare the different camera's you see, and one of the photographers isn't even here yet. If you two would like, I believe there's enough time for you to wander the shops near the studio. This is a very nice area in town, I'm sure you'll find something you like. And you've earned a break."

Allen and Kanda pondered the suggestion, and surprisingly, Kanda was the first to get up and walk towards the exit. He paused and looked back over his shoulder.

"Coming, Beansprout?"

"My name is Allen, Bakanda," he retorted, nevertheless throwing away his plate to join Kanda. Then a thought occurred to Allen.

"Oh, is it really okay if we walk around in these clothes? They look expensive..."

The director seemed to like the idea and said, "Of course. It's sort of like it's own advertisement. See?" he said as he pointed at Allen and Kanda's shirt collars. They looked at them only to notice that they had 'DHC' on the edge in silver. Huh. Go figure. "Now go! Enjoy the...hmmm...I'd say the hour that you have."

"Thank you, sir!" Allen said as he ran to catch up to Kanda, who was already waiting outside.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"I still don't know how you can eat so much," Kanda commented as he watched Allen stuff dango in his mouth. They had already stopped at five vendors. Three of which were for food. Not to mention they had to run from a small group of girls just before this, so they were tired out.

Allen pretended he didn't hear that and popped the last dango into his mouth happily. Kanda looked around and spotted something interesting. It was a beautiful urn. A warm cream color, with thin silver and black vines lacing it's entire surface. From a distance, the design looked like random paint splatters, but up close it was easy to tell it was a work of art. He asked the vendor what else the stall sold, wondering if there was anything he could buy to take back with them. Not as a souvenir, but more because their dorm room was plain, and he'd been wanting some simple decor for a while now.

"European goods. Mostly antiques," the man said, before turning back to another customer.

Allen walked over to Kanda just in time to hear that.

"Hey, Sprout," Kanda said over his shoulder, a thought casually popping into his mind. "Aren't you a foreigner? Are you from Europe?"

"...Yes. I was born in England."

"Really? Which part?" Kanda asked curiously as he looked at the urn again.

"I...don't remember," Allen said.

"What?" Kanda said, now turning to fully face Allen. "How do you not remember where you were born?" Kanda asked, though after he'd said it he regretted it. Allen was... God he was doing it again. It annoyed the crap out of him, seeing those shutters fall. And it also meant he'd fucked up. But how? Was he just...not allowed to get any loser? Not allowed to ask or want to know anything more about the other? He wasn't satisfied with that.

"I just don't remember. Now, let's go," Allen said as he turned to leave.

But Kanda wasn't having that.

He grabbed hold of Allen's arm and pulled him back.

"Oi!" Kanda said once he'd turned Allen around. "You...I'm sick and tired of you getting mad every time I ask about you. It's fucking riddiculous! If something is bothering you so much, just get it off your chest already. You think keeping quiet is so good of you? Fuck that. You aren't a damn martyr, so quit acting like one. Beating around the bush, keeping secrets, being so round about...it's not something that I tolerate well."

Allen blinked. He had _not_ anticipated this turn of events. Besides his father, no one really tried to get to know him before. No one had ever called him out on anything. Sure, people would ask, but Allen would always avoid it. Just like now. And usually that was that. They stopped trying. Stopped caring. Because why bother? Besides, Allen didn't want that sort of weak bond that could be lost in an instant. He wanted something stronger. For once, it seemed that someone was willing to give him that. Needless to say he was unprepared. And he blurted out what he'd never told anyone.

"I don't remember because I was only four years old when my parents left me at an orphanage in Japan," he admitted monotonously. "Apparently, they didn't even want me in the same country as them."

Kanda stared at Allen.

_'Shit.'_

He hadn't actually been expecting an answer. He thought Allen would just close up, or get pissed off. That's what he usually did, and he had wanted something different sure. Bu had he been expecting it? No. And he wasn't  This was a different thing all together. It was cold. Freezing. Like the sting of frostbite. He felt a chill down his spine.

_'Shit.'_

It was a cold that only people who had lost something over and over again had. Kanda knew it all too well.

And he knew - he  _knew_ \- he shouldn't push his luck. But it was if he'd been given a drop of water after being deprived of it. And he was grateful, but suddenly a drop wasn't enough. He's now managed to make a small crack in the dam, but he wouldn't be satisfied til it was blasted open. Until it washed over him and he was drowning. It was a dangerous and foreign feeling to him. Before he could stop himself, a single word slipped past his lips.

"Why?"

Allen didn't answer at first. He looked lost. Confused. In pain.

_'Shit.'_

"I don't really know. I heard some volunteers talking one time. I don't remember it happening, but they said my... _parents_..." Allen spat out spitefully, "...had left me at the gate with a note clutched in my hand. Something about not wanting a child that was so  _high_   _maintenance_. I don't know whether it was my hair or eyes or arm," -  _'His arm again...'_   - "But that's it. It was just...stupid things like that...I didn't do anything...it wasn't my fault! Right?"

...They say I didn't go in at first," Allen continued, unable to stop. Dripping, flowing, pouring, flooding. All at once, everything was rushing out. He was drowning in reverse, water spouting out of him. Dark, murky, filthy. Gushing out with no end in sight. "They say I kept t-telling them...They'll be back s-s-soon!...M...m-mommy said to w-wait h-h-here...We're going h-home today...Kanda..." Allen croaked, surprising the man in front of him by calling his name suddenly, "How could they?" Allen whispered. He was tense from holding back the tears. It seems like that's all he'd been doing lately. He'd already broken down once, and it was humiliating. So damn humiliating, but strangely relieving. But was that not the end? How much more did he have left bottled up inside him? Had he really pent up that much in his short life? It made him sick. "Did I do something w-wrong? Was I bad? Fuck, how could they?  _How could they?"_ he said, clutching at his hair. He was so angry. So angry and hurt and confused and happy to be letting all this out that it was overwhelming. Allen knew he was stronger than this. Or could be. It was all so jumbled. Everyone has walls. Some more than others. But Allen...Allen had been a fortress. It seemed that, when he was with Kanda, it all came crumbling down. It kept breaking so fast that he didn't have time to build it up again, and it felt surprisingly good to feel that part of him breaking.

Kanda thought fast when he saw tears on the brink of falling, their owner a moment away from breaking. and pulled Allen between two stalls, deep into the alleyway. There, in that tight space, Kanda had the excuse to hold Allen to his chest.

"Sprout, listen well. I'll only say this once."

Allen was clutching at Kanda's vest, breathing erratic, refusing to look at him.

"You're the most idiotic person I've ever met...but, you're also the most stupidly selfless person I've ever met. There's no way it was your fault."

He started to shake and Kanda felt a damp spot on his shoulder. If he hadn't felt the tears, he wouldn't have even known that Allen was crying. He was too quiet. Kanda was filled with a mixture of emotions. One was a small twinge of guilt for pushing Allen so far. Probably more than a twinge...Another was a small sense of victory. This time,  _he_  was the one holding Allen. Comforting him. But, the most prominent and forefront emotion was dissatisfaction. Why? Because he couldn't help noticing the deafening silence. Just how many times had Allen cried like this? Unnoticed. Quiet. Alone.

"Idiot. You need to learn how to cry properly..."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Allen and Kanda got back to the studio just when the photographer got there. He apologized for being late, and they started the photoshoot right away. But not before the makeup artists fussed over Allen. Less because they had to redo his silver lining and more so because it was obvious he'd been crying. Unsure of what to reply when asked what happened, he'd turned to Kanda for help. One word.

Mistake.

The man had simply cleared his throat and said with a straight face, "The beansprout was groped and he cried."

A mortified squeal, a punch to the shoulder, and a mini-row later, and they were back on set.

"Okay," the director projected, "This time keep in mind that we're taking photos not videos since these will be used in poster ads. You're going to have to stay still for a bit in each pose. I'll tell you when to stop and start. First, I want to start out with some directed scenes. Our photographers have some ideas of their own. Once they're done, you can improvise like you did before. Okay?"

"Yes sir!" Allen said, feeling much better as he dragged Kanda over to the set.

Two photographers came over and told Kanda and Allen to stand back to back. They loosely wrapped the red ribbon around the two and took a few close ups and head shots. The photographers seemed to like the image of Kanda and Allen pressed against each other with a ribbon tying them together so they stuck with that for a while, putting them in various poses. Much to their distress. After several shots of that, they were relocated to another part of the set where a small, square, red table and two red chairs waited for them. The table was moved for later use, and the two chairs were moved back to back. However Allen and Kanda were made to face each other, straddling the chairs in the process. Allen blushed a bit, but Kanda just rolled his eyes and pulled him into the other chair.

"Okay, now I want you two to get  _reeeeally_ close. Like, cheeks touching close," the director told them. "Closer...come on, we don't have all day lads!" he continued as he saw the both of them hesitating.

"Just bear with it for a while," Kanda leaned closer as whispered to Allen, who just blushed even more and nodded vigorously.

"Y-yeah," Allen responded nervously

Everyone was left staring and smiling at the shy duo on set.

_'They're so cute...'_

"Ahem, now create your own scenarios again. It worked extremely well the first time," the director told them happily.

And so they did. At first they repeated the scenarios they did before, letting them get some still shots of those. Now, in between each pause, a small secret was passed between the two. But...these secrets slowly turned into those that were much more than just favorite foods...

"My birthday is on Christmas..." Allen admitted in one scene.

"Mine was June 6th. The auditions were a present to myself," Kanda professed in another.

"When I was little, I would ask for a new ball for all my presents," Allen whispered, earning a snort from Kanda. They had to redo that take.

"I'm...I know what it's like. To lose someone," Kanda muttered. Allen's eyes widened. He longed to ask all the questions resting at the tip of his tongue, but he held himself back. He didn't want to push Kanda after he'd shared that information so willingly. It didn't seem like something he would tell just anyone. That fact made Allen feel honored, in a way.

"I ran away from home when I was nine..." Kanda looked at Allen. It seemed like every time this kid opened his mouth, it left him with more questions than answers. How did someone even do that. What happened to even make a kid think of that?

"...MANA is the reason I got into show biz," Kanda whispered, extremely serious now, thinking he was divulging a secret when Allen already knew. He was slightly flustered, but he looked Allen straight in the eyes when he said it, and Allen saw something there he didn't expect to see. A great sadness. Swirling around in those dark onyx depths was a deep sorrow that showed Allen how much Kanda had truly respected, admired, and loved the man known as MANA. Allen tried not to close up this time. Tried with all his being not to flinch away or freeze up or tremble. He didn't want to snap at innocent people anymore. He didn't want to be in that dark place, so hard to breathe, or move, or think. He wanted to change. Kanda had given him a glimpse fo what that change could hold. How relieving it was, to open the flood gates.

He breathed deeply. Calmly.

"He's my reason, too."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Finally finished!" Allen said as they exited the studio, back in their normal clothes and ready to hit the hay.

Allen stretched, yawned, and checked his phone. "Man, it's already past eleven! That went later than I thought. Let me call Lenalee to pick us up."

As Allen called their manager, Kanda looked at him. He noticed Allen shivering, and remembered something about a small cold front blowing in. Leave it to Allen not to bring a jacket. He sighed and took off his own and walked over to lay it on Allen's shoulders. Allen just looked up at him and gave him a heart melting smile. He didn't know exactly how, but it was so different from any smile he'd seen on the other's face. It was so ridiculously, unbelievably genuine. Something Allen might not have given him before today. But it was different now. So much had happened. So much had been learned. Kanda walked away, flustered and mumbling, "Tch, what are you smiling about, stupid beansprout? I just didn't want to hear you bitching about how cold it was."

Allen just chuckled softly. His head jerked a bit when Lenalee finally answered the phone, getting his attention.

"Ah, Lenalee...Yes we're done...Eh? I sound happy?..." Allen just looked over his shoulder at the man behind him and had to hold back a snort. A firefly was stubbornly flying towards Kanda's face as he comically leaned further and further back. In the end he was left crosseyed as it managed to settle on his nose. He looked so...offended? He couldnt even fathom why he would be, but Kanda was definitely affronted by the small glowing bug resting happily on his face. But he still made no move to get it off. Like this, he seemed like a little kid. Allen smiled and finally replied, "Nothing special, really."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

The next day, Allen and Kanda were once again rushed to a filming site, although this one was in a semi-outdoors restaurant and bar, rented out specifically for this scene. There were some portable changing rooms where Kanda and Allen put on their waiter outfits.

"Hey this looks a bit like my old school uniform," Allen commented as they both exited and walked over to a table to wait.

"What ever happened to that anyways?" Kanda said, noticing for the first time that Allen wasn't going to school lately.

"Ah, well, Lenalee and Komui handled it for me. They told my teacher how busy I would be over the next two months. And actually, I'll have more time for supplementary lessons once production of the show starts, since that's all I'm going to be doing. If I get the role that is..."

"Have some confidence. You mean  _when_  you get the role don't you?" Kanda said, annoyed at the sprout's obvious lack of confidence.

Allen just rubbed the back of his head and mumbled, "Ah, I just don't want to get my hopes up."

"Tch."

"Thanks though, Kanda," Allen said, smiling to show he was grateful for Kanda's sparse act of assurance. "What about you Kanda, aren't you a Uni student?"

"Yeah, but college is a lot more flexible than you think, Sprout."

"Hmm..." Allen pondered, but was interrupted by the director dragging them to their places.

"Alright," the woman said, "All you need to do is give to the main scene. Don't take too much attention, got it? Act like a bartender would. Clean some counters, wash some glasses, prepare some drinks. Don't use the real stuff though, there are some props under the counter there that you can use. That's pretty much everything. I've been informed that you have other things scheduled for this afternoon, so you're allowed to leave as soon as we finish with you. You only appear in the back of the first part, which takes place outside here, so it shouldn't be too long before you can go. I need to brief everyone else, then we can get started. Be ready for your cues, okay?"

"Yes. Thank you, miss Director," Allen said, giving her a coy smile.

The woman just blushed as her glasses fogged up and hurried away, her twin braids flying behind her.

Allen chuckled softly until he heard a scoff from behind him. He turned to face a grumpy looking Kanda. Of course, Kanda always looked grumpy anyways. The thought made Allen keep chuckling for some reason, which only served to deepen the scowl on Kanda's face.

" _Thank you, Miss Director?_ " Kanda repeated, mocking Allen's sly intonation, while still managing to sound grossed out. "Do you always treat girls like that?" Kanda asked him.

"No, but being back in uniform kinda brings that attitude to the surface. Old habits die hard," Allen said as he picked up a champagne glass and twirled it around his finger while reaching for a towel to clean it. Kanda just stared and asked, "What the fuck kinda uniform gives you those kinds of habits?"

"Ah, well...I used to have to work a lot of part time jobs, and the only ones I could squeeze in at night were bar jobs."

_'I probably shouldn't ask what kind of bars let a minor work there...'_

"Why the hell did you need money so bad? Owe a debt or something?" Kanda asked, deciding it was the safer, and more joking question. As soon as the word debt passed his lips, Allen froze, and slowly turned towards him. The look on his face was both the most miserable and laughable thing that Kanda had ever seen. The corner of his mouth twitched as he tried to cover up a laugh.

"Cross is a demon. An evil, woman loving, wine drinking, exotic traveling, debt racking  _demon_ ," Allen croaked out, completely serious. This made Kanda want to take a step back and/or burst out laughing. He couldn't decide what to do so he opted to stayed still.

"You don't even want to know how many zeroes that shit is. Damn. I even had to enter underground poker tournaments to even  _try_  and pay that. I had to put up with that for two years until..." Allen continued, not even trying to hide his dark side by now. "Still, I was crazy to agree to  _that..._ " Allen trailed off.

His curiosity getting the better of him, Kanda asked, "Until...?...That?"

"Ah, well, you know that promise I made with him?" Allen began guiltily, "The 'no-getting-involved-in-show-biz' deal. I was fourteen at this point. It was right after I got beaten half to death by these guys I had won some major money from. Of course they took it back so I was at my wits end on how to pay the bills. He found me, dragged me back to the hospital, then shook me awake and asked if I wanted it to stop. Of course I agreed. I don't know why, but he made me promise not to get involved in show biz in exchange for paying all the debt from now on. Of course I agreed. Hell, I was only half conscious at the time."

"...Have I ever told you you're completely stupid?" Kanda blurted out without thinking.

"Oh, that's a new one," Allen said sarcastically. But, as always, the rough attitude Kanda put up managed to lighten his mood.

Allen's story had piqued Kanda's curiosity. He was about to ask more questions but the director called action and he was forced to hold his tongue as the shoot began.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Well, that was a nice experience," Allen commented as they he waved to the cast and crew behind him while Kanda walked ahead to the car.

"Hm," Kanda mumbled as he and Allen scooted into the back seat. All of a sudden, they were pulled in by Reever and had barely even buckled in before Lenalee was speeding off. It was like this every time. Everyone was scared shitless to drive with Lenalee. It was like there were rocket thrusters attached to the car when she was driving. Allen would bet his life that she could out-drive a small airplane. When she wanted to get shit done, this woman made even the laws of physics bend to her will.

When they opened their eyes, Allen and Kanda found themselves at The Ark once again. 2PM must have been in a contest here or something. Before they had time to think about it further, they were being dragged and pushed up the steps and into a dressing room down the hall to change into some sweats.

"Okay, we still have some time before they get here, so I want you guys to watch Reever perform your parts. Make sure to note the parts that you know you'll have difficulty with. Once everyone get here, you'll all practice together with Reever and their choreographer. Don't be surprised if the dance changes as you go. This was a pretty last minute thing, deciding to put you guys in as backup dancers. They took a liking to you guys last time they were here, so be grateful and make sure to thank all your seniors. Got it?" Lenalee ranted as she shoved them into the practice room where Reever was waiting in grey cargo pants and a black muscle shirt.

Lenalee immediately rushed off to finish the massive amounts of paperwork at the Order, and Reever pushed them into some seats and started to dance, doing his best to explain as he went. Allen and Kanda sat there quietly, tense and itching to dance themselves, but knowing they had to watch this first, or they'd be totally lost when the others got there. Almost as soon as Reever had finished the dance, 2PM walked in the doors, followed by...

"Lavi? Is that you?" Allen said, feeling lighter once his fiery friend walked into the room. The members of 2PM looked back and forth between the two and decided to go get some water for practice while they caught up.

"Allen~!" Lavi squeed as he slung an arm the boy. "How've ya been? Is Yuu being grumpy as usual?"

Kanda froze in his tracks to face the overly friendly red-head and a confused looking Allen.

"What the fuck did you just call me?" he asked menacingly, glaring Lavi down.

"Eh? I called you Yuu. That's your name, isn't i-yeek!" Lavi squeaked as Kanda grabbed a hold of his collar.

"Who told you? Who the hell told you that name?" Kanda snarled.

"Ack! M-my...grandpa...now...l-lemme go!" Lavi choked out as he tried to pry away Kanda's vice-like grip.

"Don't you ever call me that again? Got it you dumb rabbit?" Kanda growled in Lavi's face, then shoved him away and stalked off in Reever's direction. He knew he was out of line, that Lavi had meant no harm, but he had his reasons for not wanting anyone to call him that.

_'Get yourself together. It's been years already.'_

"Yo, you okay? That's not like you, Kanda," Reever asked in concern.

"I'm fine. Just...Just show me the dance. Dancing helps."

"If you say so..."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Yeesh, didn't think he'd react like  _that,_ " Lavi coughed, rubbing his sore neck.

"Shit I'm sorry, Lavi. Honestly I don't know why he's got it out for you, he's not usually like this," Allen told Lavi as he fussed over him. "What's this about calling him Yuu?"

"Eh? Allen, you mean you're partners and you don't know? That's Kanda's first name. I found out from my grandpa."

"How'd your grandpa know?"

' _And how did I not know that?'_

"Oh! That's another thing! My gramps knows your old man! They're in the same business."

"Eh? Old man...pf...pffffft! Ahahaha! Are you talking about _Cross!?_  Ahahahaha! Oh God, that's rich! So...so your grandpa is an informant, too?" Allen asked between bouts of laughter.

"Yeah, that's how I got into show biz.  _And_  how I found out Mr. Grumpy Pants' name," Lavi explained.

They both took a break from their conversation when the members of 2PM walked back in. While Lavi went over to socialize, Allen walked slowly over to Kanda. He had been worried about Lavi, but he seemed fine. Now he was more concerned about what made Kanda react like that. Out of the corner of his eye, Lavi looked over at Allen and felt his mouth twitch in the beginnings of a frown. However, instead of satisfying his urge to go snatch Allen away and stop him from going to Kanda, he just put on a smile and continued his conversation.

_'Sometimes, I wonder why I'm so nice...'_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kanda was conversing with a very nervous Reever. And why was Reever nervous, you ask? Well, only a select few wouldn't crumple under the menacing aura that Kanda was unconsciously exuding. He felt someone place a hand on his shoulder, and whipped around to spread his wrath, but froze when he saw big silver orbs looking right at him. Reever saw that Allen had things covered, so he mumbled something about choreography techniques and made his quick escape to talk with 2PM's dance instructor.

"What do you want, beansprout?"

"What happened to not beating around the bush?"

Kanda scoffed as he turned away again. Allen was right of course. But taking one's own advice was oftentimes the hardest thin to do.

Luckily, Allen wasn't having any of that. He circled around so he was in front of Kanda. They stood there for an awkward few second before Allen risked saying, "...I didn't know your first name was Yuu. I always assumed it was Kanda."

"Don't...!" Kanda said a bit too loudly before he lowered his voice with an annoyed sigh. "Don't call me that. Got it? It brings back things I would rather forget and-"

"Okay."

Kanda blinked. Then he looked at Allen with one of his rare confused faces. "O...'Okay'?" Kanda asked. "That's it? What happened to the annoying, overly curious beansprout? He on lunch break or something?"

"It's not that...it's just...I know the feeling. You know. Of wanting to forget."

"Ah..." Kanda said lamely. A large part of him was grateful for Allen's respect for his privacy. There was this smaller part of him though, a very small part, that wished Allen would just ask and get it over with.

They were both startled out of their awkward silence when they heard a chorus of cheers behind them. They realized that practice was finally starting, and Allen looked at Kanda and smiled. "Come on!"

He ran off to join everyone, leaving Kanda to stare at him as he mingled easily with the crowd. Kanda just grimaced as he too walked over to start the dancing.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Ugh, Komui, please...No more! It's nearly midnight!" Allen begged, threatening to collapse at any second.

As soon as the rehearsal with 2PM had ended, Allen and Kanda were whisked away to the Dark Order to squeeze in some more practice before they collapsed from exhaustion. It wasn't humane! This was torture. However, Allen was proud that he'd endure everything...that is...until he noticed the time.

"P...Pish posh. Y-you can still go...for a bit longer," Komui tried to say between yawns, causing Kanda to scoff at him.

"Tch, yeah, we probably could, but not you old man."

"O...Old man? Why you...you...yaaaaaah," Komui yawned once again, making his attempted threat much less menacing.

Kanda just grabbed his stuff, and started heading for the door, Allen soon close on his heels.

"Just get some rest, geezer," Kanda muttered. Komui got confused, but Allen smiled, knowing that Kanda was just trying to tell Komui goodnight without sounding "stupid," as Kanda would have put it.

After they left Komui thought, ' _...Since when did they get along so well? I can't really remember...oh well, time for bed.'_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

It was 1:17 A.M. and Allen just couldn't get to sleep. He kept dozing off, then waking up a few minutes later to toss and turn, then repeating the entire process. Suddenly, he shot up in bed. "Oh...oh my, God..." he said as he slowly pulled the covers off himself. "Holy crap...oh my God!" he whispered, frantically now, as he flung the rest of the covers off and sprang over to the small desk in the corner of the room. He tried not to make too much noise as he rummaged for a piece of paper and a pencil in the drawers. Apparently though, he was making more noise than he thought, because he soon heard some angry mumbling from the corner, and looked around to see a shirtless Kanda sit up in bed. He blushed and quickly turned around, and found what he was looking for.

"Do you  _always_  have to sleep shirtless?" Allen asked, slightly flustered.

Kanda ignored the question as he brushed some long locks out of his face and asked groggily, "Wha th'...hell're you doin'?"

Allen just smiled over his shoulder and held up the paper and pencil.

"I'm writing a song."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

In the end, Allen managed to finish  _two_  songs that night, another melody coming to him just as he was finishing the first song. Even Kanda got ideas after waking up some, helping him think of what to do with the drums and harmonies in both songs, and even a guitar solo in the second song.

Once they managed to get back to sleep, it was already 4:30. They only got two hours of sleep before they were rudely awoken by Kanda yelling, "What the _hell_ is this thing?!"

Allen shot up to see Kanda with part of his hair sticking out at an odd angle. It looked strangely...moist? And he noticed Kanda making a disgusted face at whatever he was holding at arms length. It's only when said object meowed that Allen started to realize what it was.

"Tim!"

The golden fluffball perked up his ears and let out another mewl, then started squirming around trying to escape the evil clutches of Kanda.

Kanda promptly dropped Tim in disgust and walked to the bathroom to assess the damage to his hair. Tim bounced on the bed, then sprang off and scurried towards Allen. He stopped right under him and meowed indignantly as if to ask, "What was that rude creature, and why can't I chew it's hair?"

Allen chuckled and scooped up Tim in his arms. "Tim, most people other than me would react like that when you chew their hair."

He only received a small sneeze in reply.

After Kanda recovered from his initial shock, he walked back into the room and asked gruffly, "Where the hell did that thing come from?"

Allen was mid-way through saying that Tim was not a  _thing_  when he realized...how  _did_  the little feline get here? There was no way he had sneaked on board his bags, he'd been there for weeks already. And the same thing went for following him. So how did Tim get here? There was only one other person who knew where he was right now that could bring Tim here...but there was no way he had brought Tim. That man had never done a single thing for him in his life.

"I don't know," Allen finally answered.

Kanda just raised an eyebrow and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Allen said as he walked a few paces to catch up.

"If anyone would know how that dumb cat got here, it'll be Lenalee or Komui."

They proceeded downstairs. When they found Lenalee and asked she said, "Oh, that. Cross dropped him off. He-" Lenalee was interrupted by Allen, who had stopped listening after the word Cross came in to the conversation. He snapped out of it and cut Lenalee off.

"Wait. So you're telling me that the devil himself dropped off my cat for me?"

"Oh, Allen, he isn't that bad. He actually seemed rather sweet."

"Oh _no,"_ he groaned. "Not you too!? Why do all women like that useless guy? Why!? He sleeps around, drinks wine up the wazoo, and has a debt that would make your unborn grandchildren cry."

Lenalee was holding back a laugh by the time Allen's tyrade was over, until finally she couldn't hold it in anymore and burst out in a mad fit of giggles. Kanda showed no sign of amusement...unless you counted the slight twitch in his frown now and then.

"What?" Allen said looking back and forth between the two, sincerely bewildered as to what could possibly be funny. "What'd I say?"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Next!"

"I guess that's me. Wish me luck gramps!" Lavi said as he got up shakily to walk to the audition room.

It had been a month since he, Allen, and Kanda had finished the dance with 2PM. Everything had gone well, and Allen had even given him a goodbye hug. He smiled at the thought as he handed the assistant his forms and stood before the judge.

"Just tell me when to start," he said confidently from the center of the room.

"Now is as good a time as ever," the judge droned, obviously bored from the dozens of auditions he had seen that day. They had found several suitable people for some of the Demon Slayers they'd picked, but there were still a few they couldn't match. What irked the judge the most was that one kid had a partner already. A very nice one too from what he'd heard, and the partner had just walked away from the deal. Just one  _more_  person to match up. And it was difficult too. It was extremely rare, if not unheard of, for a newbie to be climbing the ladder so fast before he even officially debuted. From what he heard, the kid had gotten a lucky break with 2PM and his duo got noticed right away by the scouts at the performance. When they learned he was already signed with someone, they went after the manager. Apparently, he and his partner's looks fit the bill to a tee. All they needed was for them to audition to see if their acting was as good as their dancing. However, one of them had backed out, so now the kid they wanted for the Demon Slayer was pushed into the "partner-pending" group. He didn't know why they wanted to hold the final auditions with only pairs, it was just more work, but so be it.

Now, for the first time, the judge deemed it worthy to look up at who he was auditioning. Immediately, his eyes were drawn to the vibrant red hair, messily shoved back with a black headband. For a moment, he wondered if it was dyed, then he pushed the thought aside. The color was too clean, there was no sign of damage, and no hint of any other color peeking out of the roots. If he needed any more convincing, he got it when he looked into the young man's eyes. They were a shocking emerald green, which could only mean...

 _'Oh, a foreigner!,'_  the judge thought, _'Now that I think about it, the kid whose partner quit...wasn't he a foreigner? Wait, this was the other one they told me about! He was the other kid who was in that dance...Hmmm well, I'll make a note of it. Anyways, this should be interesting...I wonder, should I shake him up a bit_?'

"Well kid, what have you got? I can't sit here all day!" the man said as condescendingly as he could.

"I rather thought I'd let you choose, sir," Lavi said with a coy smile. He hadn't missed the gleam of interest and recognition in the judge's eyes. The truth is, Lavi already had an audition piece; a very nice one from a popular Korean film that came out several years ago. However, after the judge's opening statement, he decided to step up to the challenge.

Lavi could see his sudden confidence working its magic as the judge blabbered for something to say.

"You...you though- I...what?" said the rather flabbergasted judge.

"You decide. Pick any recent movie and I'll perform a scene from it. Go ahead, sir, I'll gladly wait," Lavi replied, expertly hiding the immense enjoyment he was getting from the situation.

Sometimes, it payed to have a photographic memory.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"I...I can't believe it. We're... _done_...Finished!" Allen said ecstatically as he held the dozens of sheets of music in his hands. "I would hug you Kanda, but you're much too stiff."

Instead of attempting to murder the sprout, as he would have done to anyone else (including the sprout) if he wasn't so tired, he just let out an extremely annoyed click of the tongue from where he was laying sprawled out in a chair.

"Point proven," Allen mocked lightly.

Again, Kanda held back the urge to strangle the smaller man. He was too tired and - dare he admit it? - feeling somewhat happy with the work they had done.

"Let's go and tell Lenalee!" Allen suddenly shouted in glee as he moved to drag Kanda up by the arm...then became self conscious at the last moment, deciding to cover the action by reaching for the doorknob instead. But this didn't go unnoticed by Kanda.

Truth be told, this had been happening a lot recently. Allen would reach out to Kanda, then stop. Would be about to tell him something, then just walk away. And Kanda, despite Allen's efforts to play the incidents off, had noticed every single one of them. And frankly it was making him... _uncomfortable_. Not nervous, no, Kanda never got  _nervous_.

Because sure, aside from today, he and Allen fought...a lot...but that was no reason to completely avoid him right? Unless - and this wasn't the first time Kanda's imagination had entertained the idea - that is...unless Allen had found out about Kanda's...feelings? Whatever they were exactly. Was he trying to tell Kanda he wasn't in to him by avoiding him? Almost as soon as he thought it, Kanda dismissed the idea. Not just because of the growing (and slightly disturbing) sentimentality building up inside him, but because he had  _never_  acted on those feelings. Not one. Single. Bit.

 _'Unless you count that one time when we were looking at stalls during the DHC commercial. Which I'm not,'_ Kanda thought.

Okay, besides the whole hugging-Allen-between-the-stalls-while-he-cried incident, nothing. Absolutely nothing hinted at his growing affections for his partner. So...what the hell was it? I couldn't be that...Allen hated him?

Could it?

"Tch. Annoying," Kanda muttered to himself before getting up to follow Allen downstairs.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Meanwhile, Allen was berating himself for nearly touching Kanda... _again_.

 _'Gah! Allen, you dumbass! You're only acting more suspicious by veering away at the last second,'_ Allen argued with himself, blushing face buried in his hands.

But, Allen reasoned, its not as if he could help it. Recently, every time he tried to touch Kanda, even for something as trivial as tapping his shoulder, he always got extremely self conscious at the last second. His impulsive nature didn't help either. As a matter of fact, it had nearly been the death of him many times in the past month. On several occasions, he had nearly confessed to Kanda - tempted to get the imminent rejection over with - but had managed to stop himself in the nick of time. There was no sense ruining the perfectly sound(?) friendship he and Kanda had built up in the two months they'd known each other. The only thing that comforted Allen through his inner turmoil was the fact that Kanda hadn't noticed his strange behavior. After all, he didn't want Kanda to think he was avoiding him.

_'Thank God for small miracles.'_

While he was thinking about all of this, Allen had unconsciously stopped just outside the doorway. Then, when an unaware Kanda rounded the corner and bumped into Allen, there was a split second of awkwardness before Allen realized who was  _right behind him_  and lunged away with a small yell.

He turned to see an extremely annoyed looking Kanda scowling at him.

"The fuck was that, you stupis beansprout? What, am I fucking contaminated or something?" Kanda growled, making no attempt to hide the annoyance - bordering on anger - in his voice.

 _'...Hey Big Guy, you know that thank you? I take it back,'_  Allen complained in his head.

There was no hiding it now. He'd been caught in the act. He and Kanda stood there in a tense silence and, right when Allen was about to say something along the lines of an apology, they both heard voices coming from the dining room.

"Eh?" Allen said. "That's Lenalee. But...who else is that talking to her?" Allen wondered out loud. The second voice sounded like an older male's, and although there were two of them here this male was  _much_  older. His voice came out almost in a rasp. Somewhere between a confident orator and a wheezing old man.

Kanda, his anger momentarily forgotten, just gave Allen a look before walking in that direction to see who it was.

Allen stood there exasperated. ' _Can't he say a "follow me" or "let's go" just ONCE in his life?'_  Allen shrugged it off as he once again followed without question.

They walked downstairs to see Lenalee and one other person - indeed, a shrunken old man with long white hair tied in a high and scraggly ponytail - talking away...in...Chinese? AT least that's what Allen thought it was. It definitely wasn't Korean. Suddenly, papers were being traded, and signed, and traded back again. Then suddenly, the old man beckoned for someone out of sight to come and sign some of the papers. The person he had called to suddenly walked into Allen and Kanda's line of sight, earning a gasp and growl respectively.

"Lavi!" Allen exclaimed joyfully, oblivious to the once again annoyed man behind him.

His shout automatically drew all attention to him. Lavi had the most dramatic reaction. His face spread into a wide grin as he waved frantically, as if he and Allen were separated by a hundred yards instead of only a few.

"Allen!" Lavi replied joyously.

The two at the table smiled at the friends' display and Lenalee turned to speak to Allen.

"So you  _do_  know each other. Good! I'd heard for Mr. Bookman here that Lavi had been in both of your performances. When he said he was the young man with red hair, it was hard not to remember him!" Lenalee commented, turning to smile at Lavi.

"Aw, stop it Miss Lee, yer making me blush," Lavi said, pretending to cover a non-existent blush.

Lenalee just laughed and continued her conversation with Bookman. Lavi took the chance to walk over to where Allen was in the middle of the stairs. "Yo!"

"Good to see you Lavi!" Allen said above the "Tch!" that Kanda muttered. "I didn't expect you to be Chinese with that hair."

"Ah, that's just my Gramps. Truth is, he's only half. I'm even more mixed up, as you can see by my dashing, foreign looks," Lavi replied with a wink.

"Keep telling yourself that," Allen teased his friend before continuing. "So really, what are you doing here?"

Allen just happened to ask the question right as the paper signing was finished, and Lenalee took it upon herself to answer.

"Well, your friend here is your Demon Lord for your final auditions! Isn't it wonderful? Plus, his manager has agreed to sign him with the Dark Order! He'll be moving into the dorms soon."

Allen smiled at the news, oblivious to the murderous aura radiating from behind him. Lavi turned away from Lenalee to beam at his friend in return.

As he did, he caught Kanda's dark look. They two men looked into each others eyes for a second, just a second...but Lavi noticed something... _different_ in the man's gaze. Something challenging.

 _'Ah, so that was it,'_ Lavi thought to himself. ' _Finally caught on to your own feelings, eh? Well then. Challenge accepted.'_

 

[Scene end.]


	8. Intermission Unus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***

_Intermission Unus_

Cross came back from dropping off the damn feline - he himself didn't know what stupid emotional impulse had lead him to dropping off the small furball - and went straight to his wine bottle. He poured a large glass for himself, chugged it, and was starting a second one in no time.

Irritated. Cross was really, really,  _irritated_. Every time he thought of the damn brat, his scowl deepened.

"Why did I ever fucking agree to it?"

**xxxxxxxxx**

_xxxxxxxxxx_

It was a dreary morning in early January. No sun was shining to illuminate the murky streets, and no birds were singing to lift any hearts. No. The streets were empty and lifeless, and not a light shone in the darkness. Except for one. It was a small establishment, snuggled into a remote corner of a nearly empty street. A rare sight in the packed streets of Seoul, even if this was the outskirts. Inside was the bartender, and a single patron in the corner, staring solemnly at his empty glass. The bar smelled of stale hopes and broken dreams, and he couldn't help but think it was the perfect setting. He sat like that for near on half an hour before the bell in the front door jingled, alerting him of new company.

The newcomer was dark to say the best. He stood tall and ominous clad all in black, with his sleek coat drawn tightly around him, cowl up. Smoke curled from the man's cigarette and faded into nothing. The figure looked around, and his eyes connected the man in the corner. He slowly walked forward, his long, blood-red hair subtly sweeping behind him, and stopped in front of the table.

The man sitting there looked up, his black locks splayed messily across his forehead. Upon seeing his new companion, his face spread into a wry, humorless grin as he said, "Cross. What a pleasant surprise."

Cross just made an annoyed sound as he spit out his cigarette, stamped it into the ground, and sat down. The bartender gave him a sour look, but he brushed it off. He had more important things to worry about.

"Surprise? I should be the surprised one here, what with you calling me out so early."

The dark haired man just looked away and said, "I wasn't..."

Cross raised an eyebrow, urging him to continue. The gesture did not go unnoticed.

"I wasn't expecting you to show up."

An awkward silence pervaded the room as the two men sat there. Finally, unable to take it any longer, Cross sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair.

"I've known you too long to just not show up when you...when you're like this."

Cross swept his arm up and down to indicate his friend's haggard appearance. His face was drawn, and though his skin was still tanned it lacked the healthy glow it had before. It was replaced by clammy hands and sunken cheeks, and a grayish pallor that made it seem as if he'd seen a ghost and never quite gotten over it.

"Neah, I think it's time you start talking."

_xxxxxxxxxx_

**xxxxxxxxx**

Cross scowled at the memory of what happened next. He was practically conned! Manipulated into...

_'Ugh.'_

**xxxxxxxxx**

_xxxxxxxxxx_

Neah tried to smile at Cross, but it came across as just a slight twitch of his mouth.

"Alright. Where to start..."

Neah released a sigh that he'd obviously been holding in for a long time. It was so deep, so heavy, that Cross half expected his soul to fly out with it, and disappear into the air like smoke.

"He's here, Cross," Neah said. "After a whole year of searching, I finally found him."

"What? Who?  _Who's_ here?" Cross asked.

"Allen." Cross' eyes went wide. "He's in the orphanage on the southern side of the city just east of here...Cross..."

And when Cross saw the look in Neah's eyes, he immediately went on alert. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Allen ran away almost a year ago," Neah suddenly said. "...He'd be ten by now...Cross...no child that's gone through what Allen has deserves to go back into an orphanage. Especially not in the southern slums of Seoul. But I know why he did it...he must hate me. It was...it was my fault that Mana-"

"Oi," Cross growled, feeling a gross beginning of a lump in his throat. "Don't you dare blame yourse-"

"But I'm the one who-"

"Neah," he said firmly. The broken man hung his head, saying nothing more. Cross pinched the bridge of his nose and asked, "That can't be the only reason you called me here. To share that sort of info."

Cross just grimaced when Neah looked up and he saw a strange look in his eyes...and he didn't like it one bit. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Cross," Neah begged. "Please, adopt Allen."

_xxxxxxxxx_

**xxxxxxxxx**

He should have said no. Just NO. It would have saved him the trouble of raising the kid. So why didn't he? Thinking back on it now, he tried to remember why he hadn't.

**xxxxxxxxx**

_xxxxxxxxx_

"Me? Adopt a kid? You've gota be kidding me. Why don't _you_ adopt him? After that day Allen ran away and you've been looking for him ever since haven't you? Don't tell me you haven't, Neah, because you and I both know that's bullshit. So why, after all this fucking time, are you just handing him over to m-"

"He hates me, Cross," Neah whispered, repeating himself like a broken record. His voice was so shattered, so torn, so alone, that Cross could barely stop himself from reaching out to his old friend. "He _hates_ me. I know it. Ever since he ran away, I kept thinking why he did it, and I keep coming back to one conclusion. He must have found out..."

"Found out what?"

And now, Neah looked straight at him, and the sorry sight of the wrecked man in front of him nearly broke even Cross' unyielding heart. "It's  _my_  fault Mana is d-dead...All my fault. He begged me to let him go out without his body guards for Allen's birthday, and I just _let_  him. I just let them go out,  _unprotected_ , and look at what happened! Allen knew I was in charge of the guards...he must have figured it out. And now...Fuck... _fuck..._ " Neah whispered, completely breaking down.

Cross made no move to comfort him. He couldn't tell his friend some lie about it not being possible, how he was just crazy from losing everything and from his self-imposed guilt. That Allen couldn't have possibly figured it out. And even if he did, he wouldn't hate him. Cross just couldn't bring himself to do it...because the facts were that it  _was_  possible.

Instead, after a while of letting his friend vent all his pent up feelings, he sighed and said, "You owe me, Neah."

Neah's head shot up, a small spark of hope in his eyes. "You mean...you'll do it?"

"Yes. I'll do it...Come on, let's go and get you cleaned up. You look fucking gross."

But as Cross reached for him, Neah took a surprisingly firm hold on his arm. "Cross, promise me just one thing. Only one."

Cross raised a brow at Neah's sudden request, but since he didn't stop him, Neah continued.

"Promise me that you will  _never_  let Allen get in to show business. I doubt he will, but...I just don't want him to go through what I've gone through. Go through so much struggle, only to lose everything... _everything_...I just don't want him to have to go through that again. And if he get's into the business, it'll be all too likely to happen. So...please..."

Cross ran a hand through his hair. He'd never understand why people got so attached to each other. But Neah and Mana had grown up with him in the slums, so that was different. These were bonds of survival that could hardly be broken by just a few years of not seeing each other. So now, here he was, agreeing to everything Neah told him.

"Fine. I promise. Just order me some wine already, will you?"

_xxxxxxxxxx_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

After that, Cross remembered, he had drank until he almost forgot what he'd agreed to do. Then he'd sobered up completely before heading to the orphanage. There, he'd found the child called Allen Walker. The kid was even worse than Neah. Unknown to Cross, Allen had slipped back into the mute state that Mana had found him in. He wasn't able to bring Allen out of it the way Mana had, but instead, Allen gradually came out of it himself after he started going to school.

 _'That probably took longer than it should have,'_  Cross thought with a annoyance and a hint of regret as he recalled how they had moved around a lot when he had first adopted Allen. It was only in the past two years that they had come back to Korea again. And only this year that Cross had dared to bring the kid back to Seoul.

He didn't want to admit it before, especially not to himself, but he had a soft spot for the kid. Maybe it was because it was a favor to an old friend, or maybe it was because he'd spent years with Allen. He has to admit that it had been a nice experience, deliberately getting under the kid's skin as often as he could. It helped bring a spark into his previously monotonous life. Usually he would wander around the world, alone - the woman he thought he loved; dead - meeking out a living and running from debtors as he "enjoyed life." Allen had slowly changed that, and even Cross himself didn't realize it until he was looking for a house to really settle down in...and a certain caramel skinned, ebony haired beauty that he'd met years ago at the bar she'd owned.

 _'Ugh_ _, I'm growing sentimental in my old age_ ,' Cross chided himself. Then he realized what he'd just thought and could have punched himself. If there was one thing Cross wasn't, it was  _old_. Sure he wasn't a teenager anymore, but he. Was _not_.Old.

Then he felt a pair of warm arms wrap around his shoulders from behind the chair he was sitting at. He didn't need to look behind him to know who it was.

"Shouldn't you be asleep, Anita?"

"Shouldn't you?" the woman smoothly countered as she walked around him, plucking the wine glass from his hands and taking a sip as she sat down across from him.

"I can go out whenever I want," Cross defended himself a bit too hurriedly.

"Oh?" Anita said, raising a questioning eyebrow. Then she looked around - seemingly innocent - and asked, "Hey, where's Tim? I wonder, did someone come in and take him?" she now asked Cross directly.

It was the alcohol, Cross reasoned with himself, that made him clam up and turn away from her instead of standing his ground as usual.

"No? Then did he run away?" Anita, now openly teasing Cross, asked. "Not that either? Then, what else could it...oh!  _I_  see!" she said, smacking her fist into her palm as if a brilliant idea suddenly struck her. "You must have _taken_ him to Allen! Then why not just do it in the morning? Could it be?" she said, now leaning towards Cross. "The great Cross Marian is... _embarrased_?"

Now, Cross whipped around to face her, his face set like that of an indignant child, and said, "You're crazy! Just shut up and give me my wine."

"Whatever you say, dear," she told him as she handed over the glass and watched him sulk off to the main bedroom.

She just chuckled as she watched him walk off, then went to join him. Really for a daft old man, to her Cross was rather cute.

[Intermission End]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K: As you may have noticed, Intermission chapters will break away from the main characters (Allen, Kanda, and Lavi) and show the plot developing elsewhere. Note that Intermission chapter are VERY IMPORTANT TO READ. Just because they don't feature the protag, doesn't mean they don't contain crucial info. I hope you liked it. If you did, please leave kudos and/or a review. It really helps.


	9. Intermission Duo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***
> 
> K: Another intermission! But like I said before, be sure to read. Just because Intermission chapters don't focus on the protag, doesn't mean they don't contain vital plot developments and backstory! Enjoy~
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING(S): Suicide attempt

_Intermission Duo_

Mana walked down the street as the media followed him. As usual. He sighed after the umpteenth camera flash and whispered to Neah, "Do they really need to follow me  _everywhere_?" No doubt they would want to interview him after this, too. All he wanted to to was get home and snuggle Allen to death. Was that so hard to ask?

"It can't be helped," his twin replied. "They do it on their own. Plus, they'd never miss this chance to film you helping the community."

"We're just going to one of the orphanages we donate to."

Neah only gave him a look that screamed  _You're-famous-dumbass._

Oh. Right. Honestly sometimes he forgot. Aside form everything happening to and around him being on a different scale, he'd never really felt any different.  He didn't feel famous, even though he knew he was. He didn't feel normal per say, but famous? No. Never. Mana rolled his eyes and kept walking but Neah grabbed his arm.

"We're here."

"Oh, I, uh...I knew that," Mana muttered.

The crowd continued past the employee who greeted them. Smiles all around. Pleasant exchanges.

Until the scream.

It pierced through the air, shrill and panicked. Everyone whipped their heads around to the girl who had screamed. She was looking upwards and everyone was scanning the skies for the threat, but Mana was the first to notice...there was a slight figure on top of the roof, and they looked determined. It didn't take Mana long to put two and two together. A split second had passed and he'd already started running.

"Mana?" Neah shouted as he rushed past him.

She took a deep breath.

_'Halfway there...'_

Closed her eyes.

_'Almost...don't do it!'_

And jumped.

_'No!'_

Mana wasn't close enough. He wouldn't make it. There was no way he could-

With one last burst of strength he leapt parallel to the ground and caught her just before she would have hit.

There was a hushed silence before the cameras started clicking. For once, Mana paid them no mind.

Mana uncurled with the small form in his arms. Upon closer inspection, it was a boy, not a girl like he'd first thought. He had flowing pitch black hair. Long. Just a bit past his shoulders. Slight of frame, it felt like any sudden move Mana made could break him. He'd passed out, too, making his features even more relaxed. And...

 _'Oh God...he's...he's barely a child. He's just a_  kid _he's almost Allen's age. Shit. Holy shit._ '

And when he thought of that, of Allen lying broken on the ground as this boy would have, he almost threw up. As the boy came to, Mana sat him up, and looked into his eyes. They were gray. It was such a familiar shade it was as if he'd received a slap to the face. Before he knew it, there were tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. The boy looked shocked and confused that some stranger was crying right in front of him.

"You...You idiot!" Mana yelled, making everyone's eyes go wide.

"PLease, just...Don't you ever...even  _think_  of doing something like that _ever_ again. Do you understand?"

Hearing the words drew and angry scowl out of the boy. It looked off on such a young face.

"Who are  _you_  to tell me that? Who gave you the right to save me!? You don't know what it's like....I have nothing now!  _Nothing_!"

"If you really believe that, you're an even bigger fool than I thought you were. You have nothing? If you want to know what nothing is, then go jump off that roof again and bleed what little you have out on the ground. You've lost something? Someone? Yourself? Then tell me. Is it that you want to die? Or that you don't want to live?"

"What's the difference?"

"A big one. If you want to die, you'll die. Even if I manage to save you a thousand times, you'll climb those steps a thousand and one. And that'll be the time I won't be here. And that'll be that. But if you just don't want to live...it's something other people can't really understand."

"Other people?"

Mana just gave the boy a sad smile before continuing, "You feel trapped, don't you?"

Silver pools widened. The boy stayed silent.

"You feel like your heart is surrounded by mud. Each beat is painful. Because you remember what it was like without the mud in there. You remember how nice it felt. And you want it back. You want that air, that happiness, that life back inside your chest. But it's gone. Sometimes it's taken. Sometimes you break it. Sometimes it slowly trickles away through the cracks in your ribcage. And once it's gone, here comes the mud. And you feel like you can never get it out."

"...I-"

"You know what to do, right?" Mana asked. He reached out, and pointed at the boys chest. "Start digging."

You've got to dig all of the mud out. It may take a while. It may never be all gone. But if you start now you'll be okay. I know you'll be okay. Remember, there may be mud in your chest, but mud isn't all that you are. Mud isn't all life is. And if it get's tough, if you ever feel like giving up again. As if the mud is never ending. Find someone to help you dig. There are people out there that will, if you just look."

"But-"

"Just look," Mana said gently. "Look at me. If you want, I can help you dig."

"I...I-I...m...I'm sorry...." the boy started to hiccup and Mana wrapped an arm around him, letting the child lean into his shoulder. He rubbed comforting circles onto his forearm as the crying grey heavier.

"I...I j-just w-want...m...m-mom...I want m-my mom b-back! Ugh...uu..."

Mana waved the cameras away, and they finally left thanks to their small shed of sympathy. Eventually, the kid fell asleep and Mana insisted on carrying him inside.

"I'm sorry, sir," an old nurse whispered, "The child only recently came into our care. His mother...she was killed in a car crash."

"...Was he...?" Mana couldn't bring himself to ask. But the nurse understood.

"Yes...he was there with her. He was almost unharmed, thank the Lord, but the mother wasn't so lucky."

"And the father?"

She shook here head. "He never knew his father. It was artificial insemination. That's all I know."

Mana nodded. He suddenly had a very strong urge to see his son, so he said goodbye to the nurse and turned to leave.

"You're leaving?"

Mana looked back to see the boy awake in his bed. The child had a small frown on his face and his eyebrows were knotted together. It looked like he had practiced the expression in the mirror to give off just the right level of disgruntled.

"Yes. Especially now that I see you're okay."

"...Oh..." the kid said dumbly.

Mana smiled and said, "You know, I have a kid about your age."

The boy's eyes widened in shock. "Really?"

"Yeah...and I really want to see him after the scare you just gave me. Bye, kid, and don't cry again. It doesn't suit you," Mana chided as he turned to go again.

"...Kanda!"

"What?" Mana said as the kid made him stop in his tracks yet again.

"My name. It's Kanda. Not kid." And Mana burst out laughing. "Wh-what's so funny?" Kanda asked, ticked off that the adult was laughing at his name.

"N-nothing! It's just...that's the same thing my son said to my brother. Ah, now I  _really_  want to see him! Bye ki- I mean, Kanda!" Mana said as he quickly strode out of the room. Before Kanda could stop him a third time, the nurse was there fussing over him, making sure the fall hadn't done any extra damage.

"T...THANK YOU!" Kanda yelled down the hall, hoping the man had heard him. He heard a laugh, then a door click, and then the man was really gone.

He was full of questions, but the last conversation he'd had with the man was stuck in his mind.

_'So I'm similar to someone? I didn't even get a name. Wonder what he's like...'_

 

[Intermission End]


	10. Scene VII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***
> 
> K: Whoops this took a bit longer to get out because ugh college.  
> K: Anyways, enjoy!
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING(S): none

**Scene VII:**   
_Two Star Crossed Partners_

Kanda was being the grump that he usually was when he finally just  _couldn't take it_   _anymore_.

He had _tried_ to ignore it. In fact, he thought he was being very sportsman-like in his efforts to control his annoyance at everything that the stupid rabbit did...but, alas, he'd finally had  _enough_.

Allen, Lavi, and Kanda were all currently in room seven, where Allen and Kanda had been staying. And while Kanda was currently attempting to read over a contract while simultaneously glaring at the two people being all buddy buddy on the other bed, Allen and Lavi were giggling like the oblivious idiots they were. The two were playing with Tim on Allen's bed, and being very noisy about it too. They had gotten hold of a laser pointer from who knows where and were laughing their asses off as they watched the small kitten leap after it. However, although it was fun, it was keeping Kanda from concentrating. Not to mention he couldn't help noticing how close Lavi was to Allen, practically draped over Allen's shoulders in a "friendly" display of affection. No, wait, what did he care? Sure he now knew he had...some attraction to the sprout, but Allen was his own person. And him having feelings didn't automatically mean they were reciprocated. His feelings...they didn't mean anything yet. No, maybe they would _never_ mean anything. Especially if he kept shoving those feelings further back and restraining himself. Kanda  _knew_ that, but he refused to let them get to him too much. If he acted on his feelings now it'd only serve to throw them off, and neither of them could afford that at such a crucial moment in their career. The recording contract in his hands was a solid reminder of that.

And...Dare he admit it made him nervous? Maybe even...afraid? No, he didn't think it was at that level. But he was definitely anxious. More so about Allen's feelings than his own. He  _knew_ the other was consciously avoiding him at times. It was glaringly obvious by now, no matter how much the stupid beansprout tried to brush it off. He thought they had at least gotten to a certain level of...trust? Friendship?  _Something_ between them. Had he been wrong? Did he mistake something closer to hatred for...

 _'Mistake it for what, him liking you back? Just cause the guy's gay doesn't mean he'd go for you,'_ he thought,  _'Get over yourself, you've got a contract to read...'_

Just when did he become so unsure of himself.

_'Feelings suck balls. Why do people have them?'_

He shook his head, as if that could clear his jumbled and aggravating thoughts and brought the papers a bit closer to his face in an attempt to block the view of the other two. Just as he was about to start reading again, another loud burst of giggles pushed him to the brink of his patience.

"Don't you have you're own room? Go over there, dammit!" he snapped.

Kanda had addressed Lavi, so he was surprised when Allen answered, "Oh! Good idea, that way we can play with Tim without disturbing you."

He picked up the small cat and headed for the door as Lavi got up to follow him. As they walked out Allen turned to Lavi and said, "Ah, I need to go over the audition details with you. I've been busy, so I'm sure you're more informed than m-"

But Kanda heard no more of the conversation as the door closed and he was left, aghast and alone, staring open mouthed at the spot that the two friends had just disappeared.

 _'What the fuck?'_  Kanda thought angrily. He was pretty sure he had looked straight at Lavi when he said that. So why the hell had Allen replied? Had he completely missed the tone of contempt in Kanda's voice?  _'How oblivious can you get!?'_  Kanda thought, now completely aggravated. Sure, Allen's overall naive nature was...refreshing. Sometimes. Okay, a lot of the times. Many a time had Kanda's moodiness been quelled because Allen had made him look at things a bit differently. But seriously, there was a _limit_. Plus, Kanda had wanted to discuss the terms of the contract with Allen, and he felt as if he had been cheated somehow. As a matter of fact, Kanda was sure that he saw a flash of victory in that stupid rabbit's eyes as he'd followed Allen to his own dorm, room eight, across the hall. And it frustrated Kanda to no end as he kept going back and forth between being annoyed at Allen for choosing Lavi over him, to being annoyed at Allen for being obliviously considerate and moving to the next room. Either way, Kanda was extremely peeved. But, most of all, he was angry at that stupid _rabbit_.

"Tch, idiots, both of them!" Kanda muttered angrily as he reluctantly returned to reading the contract.

Meanwhile, in the hall, both Lavi and Allen sneezed simultaneously. They looked at each other and Allen shrugged. "It must be Bakanda acting grumpy again and badmouthing us," Allen said half jokingly, until they heard a sneeze from the closed door behind them. Both of their eyes went wide before they burst into fits of laughter and stumbled into Lavi's room.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Okay, we can do this. We can do this...we  _can_  do this, right?" Allen repeated to Lavi, sounding more and more nervous by the second.

"Allen, calm down, we've got this," Lavi eased.

" _I am calm,_ " he replied in a manner that calm people do not reply in.

"Dude just sit back. Relax. Enjoy these comfy ass chairs," Lavi said as he pulled his headband over his eyes.

"And pray tell how I should do all that when we audition in two more turns?"

"Number forty-eight! Number forty-eight-" a woman announced as another pair got up to audition.

 _"One more turn,"_ Allen stressed.

"Well, will freaking out get you anywhere?"

"..."

Of course Lavi had a point. Freaking out was getting him nowhere. Now that he thought about it, he tended to freak out when first doing something. He made a mental note to try and fix that...

"I guess...not...?"

"It's not  _I guess_ it's  _I know_. You're freaking out cause you're scared of messing up right?"

"Maybe."

"But what do you think being nervous will do? It'll just make you  _more_ likely to mess up. So why be nervous? If you don't wanna mess up, take a few deep breaths. You'll be fine."

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right."

"O' course I'm right! So, we might as well get rid of as much tension as we can," the red-head said as he linked his hands behind his head, and settled down for a nice, _long_ nap-

"Number forty-nine! Allen and Bookman? Allen and Bookman to the audition room."

Looks like Allen would have to take some very very very deep breaths in the short walk to the audition space. They were up. The show was on. And he still didn't feel a bit ready. They hadn't even given them any audition material. Even for a blind audition, this was too much. The previous pair was over in a flash. Were they going to be given that little time to learn and perform a script? This was nerve wracking to say the least.

"Scratch that then," Lavi grumbled, but easily adjusted by putting a smile on his face and guiding a stiff Allen into the room.

As soon as they entered the room, the judge gave them a once over and continued looking at his papers in a very dismissing manner.

 _'W...what the heck? This guy just blew us off. It's freaking Allen out,'_ Lavi thought as he looked to the side at the Allen-cicle, _'And it's ticking me off. Tch. Judges. Aptly named.'_

But still, Lavi nudged Allen to get his attention. He winked at him, making Allen smile - even if it was shaky - which made him smile.

"Remember, we've got this." he whispered.

Allen's smile grew more confident, which made Lavi happy. There was just something about that smile that looked totally right on Allen's face, as if God had stopped in to personally check its perfection. From the pearly whites, to the glittering, crinkled eyes, to the faintly visible dimple on the left cheek. It was perfect.

Allen, in turn, was grateful to his friend for the push. He always managed to pull through things like this, but that didn't mean he wasn't nervous as hell. Usually, Kanda was the one who snapped him out of it, but lately he was coming to expect the same from Lavi. He didn't know exactly when it happened with either of them, but he had grown to trust the two of them immensely. Even though the red head had seemed clingy at first, he had grown on Allen in just the few times he'd seen him.

Lavi and Allen shook themselves back to reality, and walked to stand before the judge. And boy did this guy look mean. He was rocking a full on Gendo pose, complete with a stern face, glinty glasses, a frown, and a permanent crinkle between the eyebrows. He looked like he'd be demanding them to pilot robots, not act in a TV Drama. The only difference was how he was dressed. He on a dark suit, most likely the latest in a line of fashionable taste. The look was complete with shiny shoes and a thin completely unneeded scarf thrown expertly around his shoulders.

All in all, the typical big shot.

As soon as Lavi and Allen grounded themselves, he started talking.

"Here's your scenario. You," the man said sharply, pointing at Lavi, "are the Demon Lord. You just brutally murdered _this_ boy's," he quipped, pointing at Allen now, "Entire family, right in front of his eyes. He has no one left. Nothing left. And it's all. Your. Fault. And he's the vengeful type." After he dropped that bomb in their laps, the judge just leaned back and said, "Well...whenever you're ready."

Lavi had turned his back to Allen and was doing his best to think how they should start. How much time did they even have? Was this why the auditions had been going by so quickly? What kind of hellish exercise was this? Forget a blind audition, this was like they'd walked in blind and been hit in the head with a bat and be expected to dodge. This was insane. This was-

"I'll kill you."

The trembling words were spoken so softly that it could have been a breeze. But Lavi was already on high alert, scenario upon scenario running through his mind. He hadn't put much faith in Allen acting first, but at least he wasn't caught totally off guard. He whipped around, and squinted in disgust at Allen, who was looking down.

"Tch. Still one left?" he growled, immediately immersing himself in this new character and sending a burning glare in Allen's direction.

The judge was immediately on alert. So far, these two were the first ones to start the scene immediately, with no prior planning or exchanged gestures and whispers.

 _'This should be interesting,'_ he thought, as he watched the scene unfold.

"I'll kill you," Allen repeated, louder this time. His voice broke. Had Allen always been this good an actor? That voice break sounded awfully natural. Lavi sensed that something was off but brushed it aside. Allen was probably just a natural.

"What was that, you weakling? You? Kill  _me_? Don't make me laugh."

Allen was trembling by this point. Fear? Lavi reacted with haughty condescension.

"You can't even move. Look at you, shaking. Disgusting. Now, any last words? I pity you, so I'll make it quick, unlike the others," Lavi said menacingly as he stalked midway to where Allen stood.

"I'll kill you," came the mantra once again, more forcefully this time, as if this boy was restraining himself from clawing out the demon's throat then and there. The trembling took on a different meaning. Not fear.

Anger.

"You dare-"

"First," the young man growled. He still did not meet Lavi's eyes. He continued looking downwards, and was stepping forward at a slow creep "I'll scar you. The mere sight of your face disgusts me, so I'll target that first. Then I'll break your bones. Slowly. _Painfully."_ Lavi looked on, using his unease for Allen's hyper-realistic acting as fuel. He masked it as anger, nostrils flaring to disguise his nervous breathing as angered inhales and exhales. He saw Allen make a slight curve in his path. Lavi gulped.  _'A body. Oh god, he just mimed stepping over a body. So he's been looking at...'_  "But you could hardly die from that, now, could you? So for a final touch..." and by this time the boy was within arms reach of him. Then, he looked up, right into the demon's eyes.

And when Lavi saw the emotion turning those silver eyes a cloudy gray, he completely forgot that he was acting. That this was a practically empty room where nothing could happen to him. Because Allen's eyes told them he was serious. And as Allen brought a finger up to the left side of his chest he whispered with venom.

"For the final touch... _I'll put a bullet straight through your damn heart._ "

Lavi unconsciously took a step back, but managed to regain his composure. He had to think quick if he wanted Allen to come back to his senses. Something told him this was more than just acting. It was too raw, right from the get go. Sure people could immerse themselves, but that was with  _training._ That, or they'd experienced something similar and could empathize enough with the character to experience it again...but...but surely with a scenario like this that couldn't be the case?

No. It couldn't be. Allen was perfect. He was bright and untarnished. Not this dark and stained creature. How could he have such a dark scar in his past?

 _'A scar...'_ Lavi thought, eyes going wide and flickering to the thick lines on the side of Allen's face.

His heart dropped.

_'Oh no...'_

"You..." he growled, somehow taking hold of his character once again while thinking of how he could get close enough to snap Allen out of it without the director noticing, "...you're different. From the others."

Then Lavi grabbed Allen's outstretched wrist and pulled him forward so Allen's head was hidden behind Lavi's shoulder, out of the judge's view.

"Allen, calm down, and pretend to pass out when I grab your head," Lavi whispered in Allen's ear. Whether it was from the contact, or hearing Lavi's natural voice, Allen seemed to snap out of it and realize what was happening. His eyes widened, which added to the effect of the scene, though Lavi wasn't sure if it was acting or a reaction to the realization of what he'd been doing.

Then Lavi spun them around so he was behind Allen and facing the judge with half his body. He grabbed the back of Allen's head, and Allen let out a startled cry that cut off half way as he mock fell to the ground.

"You're  _very_ different," Lavi repeated. "You've earned my interest. I'll let you live, for now...Scene."

The judge seemed to come out of a shocked stupor as Allen got up from where he lay and brushed himself off. Lavi barely held back a snicker.

"...Ahem. You may leave. We'll notify you if you make call backs."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"I'm sorry!" Allen said.

As soon as they got outside the building Allen had fumbled nervously with his phone, calling Lenalee to pick them up as he avoided eye contact with Lavi. Once the call was over, he turned and bowed to Lavi at the waist.

"I...don't know what came over me." Which was a lie. Allen knew exactly what had happened. He'd snapped. He had totally forgotten that they were in an audition room and he was just acting with a friend. The scenario that the judge gave them had been like a slap in the face to Allen. He knew all too well the feeling of losing everything at the hands of a demon. And...and he'd be lying if he said the thought of returning the favor didn't flit through his mind at the beginning. When he was at his very lowest. He thought he'd risen above all of that. Those darker urges that used to plague him. That swirling anger within him that scared him with its very existence.

"Allen...why are you apologizing? The judge loved us! Besides, isn't it a good thing to get immersed in your role? You were amazing back there," Lavi said, sensing his friend's distress and stepped closer to comfort him. He put a hand on Allen's shoulder, resisting the fleeting impulse to add one on his waist, and said, "Really. You were perfect."

Allen looked down and chuckled, "Thank you, Lavi."

Lavi just couldn't resist anymore. Allen was too cute. He was about to pull the other into a hug when those silver orbs looked back up, over his shoulder, and Allen's face spread into the biggest smile Lavi had seen so far. A soft, unknown, glow came into Allen's eyes. Lavi was shocked.  _This_  smile he'd never seen before, and it was breath-taking. Moreso than all the others combined.

"Kanda!" Allen sang as he left without a second glance at Lavi and walked towards the dark haired man leaning against the car that had pulled up in the parking lot.

Lavi turned in time to see Kanda's customary smirk melt into a smile. A  _smile_. He didn't care that the lips were still a bit slanted on one side, there was no mistaking it as a smirk. Not with a tenderness in his eyes that matched Allen's. Lavi hadn't known the guy long, but he knew enough to know that Kanda wasn't a smiling type of guy. 

"Beansprout," Kanda teased, the smirk back full throttle.

 _'Oh,'_ Lavi thought.  _'So he's serious. They...they're_ both  _serious......oh...'_

"You're both fucking idiots," Lavi murmured with venom, surprising even himself. What was that? His heart had ached, sure, but for a moment his heart seemed to feel toxic. Polluted. Where had that even come from?

"Hm, what'd you say Lavi?" Allen asked innocently over his shoulder.

"N-nothing!" Lavi hastily said as he laughed and walked up to the trio, earning weird looks from Kanda and Allen.

"Are you okay Lavi?" Allen asked, still sounding concerned while getting into the passenger seat. Was it showing too much on his face?

"I'm peachy king!" Lavi joked, pasting a smile on as he got in the back.

_'Just a little crushed is all.'_

 

[Scene end.]


	11. Scene VIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***
> 
> K: Long chapter, enjoy!
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING(S): none

**Scene VIII:**  
 _But O, How Bitter a Thing It Is to Look Into Happiness Through Another Man's Eyes_

Finally. At last, Kanda had some alone time with the sprout. That stupid rabbit was dragged away by the panda looking geezer to do some commercial for a product he didn't care to remember. He secretly thanked whatever deity that may exist for giving him this small victory.

Kanda was currently standing next to Allen, who was sitting at the desk in their room. The contract from the studio was spread out before them. It had already been finalized, but Kanda had been wanting to go over it with Allen, just to be sure they both understood the terms.

"Hey Kanda, where is this percentage specified? I can't find it..." Allen muttered to himself.

Kanda put a hand on the desk to the left of Allen to support himself, and leaned closer to see what part the sprout was pointing to. Allen unconsciously shied away from the older man. Kanda noticed this, and decided to test something. He leaned just a little bit closer and his eyebrow twitched as he saw Allen stiffen up a lean just a bit farther away. He leaned down to try and see Allen's face, but the stupid _stupid sprout_ just looked away and had the nerve to twiddled his fingers.

 _'Why you I oughta...'_  Kanda thought. _'Okay, that's it.'_

Kanda put his other hand down on Allen's right side, effectively trapping him and earning a satisfying squeak from the teen. He then used his foot to kick the chair to make it spin and face him.

"Beansprout..." he growled, "Why have you been avoiding me?"

"I-I...I..." Allen stammered, shocked that Kanda was being so upfront, and paralyzed by his close quarters.

 _'Oh shit...he's...he's right there. Too close. Too close too close too close!'_  was all poor Allen could think as Kanda's eyebrows furrowed. Allen always hated when that happened. Not that it made Kanda look unattractive, goodness no, but because the man was upset. Which was more often than not. It irked Allen even more that, this time like many others, he was the cause.

"What are you staring at, sprout?" Kanda muttered.

And before Allen could stop himself, he reached up and poked the little crease between Kanda's eyebrows to smooth it out.

Kanda blinked. Allen blinked. Once. Twice. Then a little nervous smile appeared on Allen's face. "Uh...there was a wrinkle?" A forced laugh trickled out of his mouth. "Uh...you...look better this way?"

_'Oh God he's going to kill me. He's going to-'_

"Pfft..."

"..."

"Kkh...pft..."

Then, in a miracle as rare as a split in the seas, Kanda laughed. It was a bit quiet, short-lived, and deep in his chest, but it was a laugh. And it made Allen smile that unique smile that he reserved specially for Kanda.

Surprisingly, Kanda had never witnessed this up close. He was left in awe at the brightness before him. Sometimes, Kanda would catch the sprout with an unusually quiet, almost gloomy, air about him. As if he was constantly thinking of things he had no hope of changing. Things from his past, Kanda assumed. It made Kanda want to know more about him. He...dare he think it? He wanted to help. He actually wanted to help Allen get rid of whatever burden was on his shoulders, or at the very least lighten it a little. It wasn't pity, no. He didn't like pity. Not the recieving of it and not the giving of it. All he wanted was for Allen to be able to be himself. He wanted to see the true Allen. It was moments like these, when Allen smiled at him, that Kanda thought he could see that. Allen's true self breaking out from behind a wall. Even if it was only for a moment. It was then that Kanda decided to make Allen smile more often. It was definitely worth it.

_'I sound like a fucking sap. Fuck it if I care anymore though.'_

Allen was left wondering what exactly Kanda was thinking. Neither of them spoke afraid to break this rare and comfortable silence. Allen couldn't help but stare into Kanda's eyes. They were so dark and deep and oh so close, and Allen could see a light somewhere in there. It was warm and amazing. Allen mused about the source of that light, never even guessing that some of it was him. One thing that Allen knew for sure was that he wanted more. It was an addicting sort of warmth. One that was well earned, and rare, and exclusive in a way. He wanted to draw more and more of it out. He still didn't even know much about Kanda, but he sensed that the rest of that light was hidden behind something else. He didn't know what first made the small hole it was now coming from, but whatever - or whoever – it was, he was grateful.

Unconsciously, both of them had drifted closer and closer to each other. Now their faces were less than half a foot apart. Their breaths came in light inhales and exhales, slowly ghosting their way towards the other.

They leaned closer. Hesitant. Tentative. Drifting.

They're eyes started to drift closed.

Closer.

Hearts racing a mile a minute.

There was a knock at the door.

"Allen, Kanda, did you finish reading the con...tract...yet? What's up with you guys?" Lenalee said as she entered without waiting after knocking.

Upon hearing Lenalee's knock, Kanda had pushed himself away from Allen, landed on the edge of his bed, crossed an ankle over his knee, and started to examine his nails as if they were completely fascinating. Allen had spun the chair around to face the desk again. He'd shoved his face as close as possible tot he contract without hitting the desk, leaning on his elbows as he started whistling the tune to one of their songs.

"Hm? Us? What do you mean?" Allen answered as nonchalantly as he could. He couldn't help the blush that was already on his face though.

Thankfully, Lenalee didn't seem to notice.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Lenalee walked down the short hall to room seven. She just got a call from the studio. They were almost done setting up, so they needed to get ready and go over there ASAP.

She was about to knock when she heard something really...strange...

_'Laughter, but...oh my gosh is that...? It is! That's Kanda laughing! I've never even heard him chuckle.'_

She wondered what could be making him laugh like that...then she shrugged it off and knocked to let them know they should shout if they were changing or something. Only a second passed by until she let herself in.

"Allen, Kanda, did you finish reading the con...tract...yet?"

And she saw it. Not the actual moment, but she noticed how Kanda and Allen tried to cover something up. The moment before they were completely settled in their new positions.

"What's up with you guys?"

"Hm? Us? What do you mean?" Allen asked her smoothly.

She raised an eyebrow when she saw the blush on his face and decided to let it go. Allen blushed for a lot of things.

"Never mind. The studio called. I was on my way up to tell you guys to get ready to go out, but it looks like you already are. So, c'mon boys, let's head over there," she said.

Allen got up and walked out followed closely by Kanda.

And as Kanda passed her, that's when she noticed. Kanda was faintly blushing. Blushing. Kanda. Kanda and blushing. The Kanda blushing noticeably _blushing what in the world_.

And it clicked.

 _'Oooooooh myyyyyyyy goooooooosh...I didn't see that coming,'_ she thought. Then a mischievous little smile spread on her face. _'Well, ain't that something?'_

She closed the door and followed them down the hall as she hummed a merry tune.

Kanda looked back at her and said, "Tch, what're you so happy about?" He was torn between being miffed and being grateful for her interruption.

"Nothing much~" she said. She sped up to get to the car first, and as she passed Kanda she winked, pointed between him and Allen, and whispered, "I'm rooting for you!"

It actually made him freeze and stare at her aghast. She just pumped her fist and mouthed, "Fighting!"

As they drove to the studio, with Allen and Kanda both at window seats in the back avoiding eye contact with each other, Allen's mind was in complete turmoil. He couldn't stop thinking about what had happened back at the Order.

 _'That just_ can't _be what I think it was. I mean, as far as I know, Kanda isn't even homosexual. Or bisexual. Or any sexual for that matter. He...no, he's said it too many times. He doesn't_ do _relationships. Even if he...if we_ were _about to ki...kiss...he was probably just curious. I mean, I'm not blind. I'm okay looking underneath it all... He probably just wanted to make sure whether or not he could be attracted to someone of the same gender. No way would he consider me as an actual option. That...doesn't mean I can't hope though, right? People change...'_  Allen concluded with a glance at Kanda.

Meanwhile, although Kanda was his usual frosty self on the outside, it was a completely different story on the inside. Kanda's mind was going through some major reconstruction.

 _'Shit, what was that Kanda? You? Lose control? Get a grip! People will think you're going soft. If you go soft, they get too close you. They worm their way into your heart and leave. You're just begging for another heartache. Another dose of mud. Another mom. Another Alma-_ ' Kanda berated himself.

 _'Tch, that wasn't love. You were just close that's all. You were a kid with a crush big whoop. He died, but that was years ago. You need to move on,'_  a reasonable part of him countered.

 _'Don't tell me what to do,'_ he argues with himself.  _'I know perfectly well that wasn't love. And this isn't either! I don't fall in love. I'm stronger on my own.'_

 _'Not stronger, just blind,'_  that reasonable part interrupted again.

 _'They say love is blind,'_  he thought, and this time he didn't know which part of him it came form. He risked a quick glance at the sprout, only to find him looking back.

Upon being caught with their hands in the same cookie jar, Allen and Kanda looked away flustered.

By this time, they had arrived at the studio. Instead of parking in front, Lenalee park in the back of the building. She looked briefly at the two in the back and motion for them to get out. Wanting to ask, but being a bit apprehensive to, Allen and Kanda just got out and waited for further instructions.

"Allen, could you go ahead of us and wait in the lobby? I just need to talk to Kanda about something."

Allen looked confused, but just shrugged and waved to them as he started walking up the steps.

Kanda, on his part, was left in an awkward position, half-expecting what she was about to say next.

"So~ you like Allen, huh?"

"..."

"I just want to let you know that the company doesn't have any policies concerning dating. Not that you would care if they did," she continued as she saw Kanda about to protest.

"Tch, I don't even know if he likes me like that."

 _'Oh, I have a feeling he does,'_  she thought to herself.

"Just don't hurt him, okay?"

He looked at her for a second as if wondering why she'd even have to tell him something so obvious. "Now...what did you  _really_  want to talk to me about?"

Lenalee just sighed and grumbled, "Sometimes, you're too sharp for your own good."

Kanda just stayed silent, urging her to continue.

"Kanda, what do you plan on doing after this?" Lenalee asked as she crossed her arms.

"After...this?"

"After we finish recording. It will only take until the end of this month. It may just be my bias as his manager, but my gut is telling me that Allen and Lavi got the part. The results should be in by the end of the week. That puts us at July 10th. Once they start filming, Allen will be booked going back and forth from here to the film site. Once we finish recording here he'll be at the site practically day and night. You'll need to find something to do. Allen will be busy, and you'll...what? Just hang at the Order? That's not how show biz works, Kanda."

"I know that," Kanda said. 

"I have an idea...but something tells me you and I are thinking the same thing."

"Hm? How would you know if I even have an idea?"

Lenalee just shrugged. "Despite my familiarity with you two, I'm still your manager. I make it my business to know you inside out...although I have to admit, I didn't notice you liked Allen until just this morning," she teased.

"...! Cut it out! Anyways, what's _your_ idea?" Kanda oh so tactfully changed the subject.

"I was thinking you could do a solo album, and help with the soundtrack for the second season of The Demon."

"I'm way ahead of you on that first part. I didn't think about The Demon though. Two seasons huh..."

Lenalee hadn't fully expected this.

"Anything else you want to tell me?"

"Ah. I wrote a few songs without Allen knowing. I didn't want to ask him for help. And plus, it would...be...awkward..." Kanda finished with a mumble.

"Aw, you just didn't want to remind him you'd be apart soon~ Kanda has a soft spot for Allen~"

"I'm not soft," Kanda said, not even fully believing it himself anymore. _  
_

"Sure, sure...Anyways, it's good that you already have songs. I was thinking you could do a mini album. Three songs sounds good."

"Perfect. I already have two."

"Even better. I wanted the third song to be a cover of one of you and Allen's songs, but with only you singing it."

"Sounds good to me. Now what is this about a season two soundtrack?"

"I'll tell you about that later. For now, we've kept Allen waiting long enough," Lenalee said, smiling as she looked over Kanda's shoulder at something amusing.

Kanda's curiosity got the better of him, and he turned to see what was so funny.

There, through the glass, in the lobby, sitting on a chair and _surrounded by girls_ , was the beansprout.

 _'What the?'_ Kanda thought as he immediately started walking towards the lobby's entrance.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Allen was currently in a tight situation.

When he was out of uniform, he wasn't up to handling this many women. One or two at a time he could manage, but not the dozen or so female studio staff members that were currently crowded around him.

"So you're here to record?"

"You're new, right?"

"You're kind of odd. I like it."

"Are you busy after this?"

"Aw, he's shy!"

_'What the hell is taking them so long?'_

Allen could only mutter a small yes or no for each rapid fire question. He was already feeling uneasy when an unthinkable horror happened. One of them reached out to touch his hair, and managed to do it before he stood up to try and avoid it. No! He wanted to scream. He hated people randomly touching his hair. If it was for a job, fine, but anyone trying to do it for a reason that wasn't professional in nature was not welcome near him. It made him feel like some novelty item. He hated it. However, that one little touch set them all off. Suddenly, they were everywhere, clinging to his arms, trying to get a photo with him, managing to touch his hair a few more times. It was crazy. He was beginning to panic. Allen tried to walk away from them, but they followed him wherever he tried to escape to.

 _'I need to back towards the doors!'_  he thought desperately. He managed to back up a few paces that way until he noticed it was a futile attempt. There were too many of them. Where were the others? Where was Kanda? He was usually the one keeping people away in this sort of situation. This was too much. He felt panic bubble up his throat, only to slip past his lips in a single word.

"Kanda!"

Then someone wrapped a strong arm around his shoulders from behind and pried him away from the clinging hands. Allen twisted his head and saw Kanda standing there, glaring at all the girls trying to get to Allen.

"Kanda! You're here," Allen said with a relieved smile.

"You called?" he said smugly. "What, can't handle a few girls?" he teased, though there wasn't any malice behind it, and he was still glaring at the girls out of the corner of his eye. Fangirls were the most dangerous in groups. They lost all sense of common decency. Honestly if he hadn't gotten here...

The girls all backed off a bit to admire the new hottie that had just appeared. One girl giggled, and Kanda managed to glare at her over the top of Allen's head. Allen didn't know  _what_  was wrong with these girls, but even more of them burst out into giggles. It was as if they thought Kanda's glare was... _cute_. Allen thought that was ridiculous. Kanda's glares could melt ice...but then Allen turned a bit to see Kanda's face...and giggled.

"What the heck are you laughing at, beansprout?" Kanda growled.

"You...did your glares always come with a pout?" Allen asked as he covered his mouth, barely holding back his laughter.

"Excuse me?"

"You're pouting. You're literally pouting right now!  _Right_ now, you're doing it! Oh my God, where's my phone I need a picture of this!"

And Allen couldn't help it anymore. He burst into a fit of laughter, complete with clutching his sides and a buildup of tears. Kanda's jaw dropped. Him? _Pouting?_ His hand came up to cover his mouth. Last time he looked in the mirror, his glare was perfectly menacing. This beansprout was messing with him in ways he didn't even know! This had to end!

"Tch!" Kanda ticked as he let go of Allen and crossed his arms and managed to put a real scowl on his face.

"All right boys, enough with that. Time to start what we came here to do," Lenalee butted in, finally arriving on the scene.

"Yes ma'am!" Allen mock saluted. "Goodbye," he said to the girls - much to the crowd's disappointment - as he and Kanda went on their way.

"You boys wait here while I talk to the studio director," Lenalee told them as she left them in the cozy mixing room.

Allen looked around and said, "This is nice. Wood walls, thin carpet, couches. Roomy enough, but not too spacious."

It really was a beautiful studio all around. The walls that weren't covered with soundproof foam were a beautiful mahogany, polished to perfection. The floors were a thin but smooth dark blue carpet. All the furniture that they'd seen so far was a nice cream color. The crew they'd seen on the way were busy setting up chrome mic stands and beautiful instruments. The mixing room had a huge glass window looking into the recording room. On the opposite side of the main room for recording the singing, there were smaller recording rooms for the instruments. These also had large glass windows in order for the ones in the mixing room to see them. Not to mention that in the mixing room there was...

"Whoa, no way! Is this a Yamaha? An M7CL!? This is so cool! The last studio I went to only had an old Eurodesk," Allen ranted as he leaned in for a closer look at the massive studio mixer. "This thing is amazing!"

"What do you mean 'the last studio' you went to?" Kanda startled Allen by suddenly speaking right next to him.

"...Wh-what...?" Allen asked, berating himself for letting all that slip out.

Kanda stepped closer and continued his barrage of questions. He knew he should probably stop, but now he couldn't help it. He'd been wanting to ask so much for so long. It was a miracle, given his straight-forward nature, that he'd kept it all in until now. "What's with all the secrecy? Why do you know so much? Why do I have to be kept in the dark? Who are you? Why don't I even know your last name? What about your arm?"

Kanda reached out a hand towards Allen's face, but Allen flinched away in shock and Kanda's hand stopped in midair.

"Who did this to you?" he asked quietly, sounding...angry. Emotional.

At this point, Allen was backed against the wall, nervousness and confusion etched in his eyes. Kanda instantly regretted pressuring him. He hadn't meant to take it so far...but that didn't stop him from wanting to know. He let his hand drop to his side as he turned away.

"Nevermind. Just...forget it..." he said dejectedly as he sat down on one of the smaller couches.

Allen watched as the man brooded, obviously regretting his actions. It was these rare moments of emotion that Kanda had which captivated Allen in a way...he just wished they weren't all aimed at finding out about him...

Allen walked to the couch and sat next to Kanda. With a deep sigh, he leaned sideways and let his head rest on Kanda's shoulder. Thankfully, Kanda didn't push him away. If Allen had looked at Kanda in that moment, he would have seen a look of pure shock and confusion. After weeks of keeping contact with Kanda to a bare minimum, sudden;y Allen was leaning on him. Quite literally. What was going on?

"I'll tell you someday. When I'm ready." Allen's quiet mumble sounded too loud in the empty room. "Yeah...if it's you, I can tell you..."

Kanda blinked once in surprise and twisted his head to look at Allen. "Oi, sprout, what do you mean if it's m-"

But Allen was asleep with and idiotic smile on his face. Kanda threw his hands in the air in exasperation. Quietly. He didn't want to wake up the sprout. He probably needed the sleep. Besides. This silence was nice. Peaceful. And it gave him a bit of time to think.

_'I'll tell you...someday. When I'm ready.'_

And for Kanda, that was enough.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

It's not like it was a big studio. It was relatively small, actually, compared to others they had in Korea. This was a studio for music only, so it didn't need as many rooms. Still, Lenalee was getting fed up looking everywhere for the director, so after a minute she gave in and asked a random assistant where he might be. She had just missed him, they said. He had gone to one of the guitar recording rooms.

She finally managed to spot him. When he saw her, he stopped what he was doing to greet her.

"You must be Miss Lee," he said, shaking her hand.

"Yes sir. We just arrived. The boys are waiting in the mixing room."

"Wonderful," he grumbled.

"Don't sound too excited or anything," Lenalee said, getting slightly annoyed when she caught the sarcastic tone in his voice.

"No offense against you personally Miss Lee, but I've seen this happen a dozen times. Pretty boys with an okay voice come in and expect to make it big overnight. Then they just up and quit when they decide they can't make it. Don't be too angry at me. I'm old. I'm tired. And if you'll excuse me, I need to reteach this idiot back there how to properly set up a mic. I'll be with you shortly."

And on that rather chipper note, the man just...left.

No one leaves Lenalee Lee feeling like some kid who just got told that Santa was only her dad all these years. Lenalee stomped her way back to where Allen and Kanda were.

_No. Nu-uh. This guy is going down.'_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Lenalee stormed in, just barely remembering that she shouldn't damage anything and containing herself enough not to kick the door open. Allen and Kanda snapped awake shamefully, since they were technically caught sleeping on the job. At first they were scared her fury was directed at them, but she merely paced around in anger.

"Lenalee? What happened?" Allen asked in concern.

"It's that...stupid...ugh! That director is such an ass!"

Allen's mouth formed a little 'o' and Kanda's eye's widened as he whipped around to face Lenalee.

She had just cussed.

Lenalee  _never_  cussed... _ever_.

"Lenalee calm down and tell us what happened," Allen said. His eyes took on a steely glint. "He didn't hurt you did he?"

"No," she answered.

"Did he do anything to you?" Kanda pitched in.

"No! He's just...rude!" Lenalee said in a rage. "And it pissed me off that he insulted you guys before even meeting you. He thinks you're just another couple of wannabe's."

"Then all we have to do is prove him wrong," Allen said briskly.

"Tch. Stole my damn line, sprout."

Lenalee and Kanda's eyes met and she smiled as he shrugged. Leave it to Allen to accept this sort of challenge. He could be deathly nervous for anything else, but when it came to singing he was always confident. It was just another thing that made them love the gentle boy.

"Perfect timing," Lenalee muttered as the doorknob started to turn.

Kanda and Allen both bowed when the director entered along with his assistant.

"Hello, sir," Allen said as he smiled. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard you do amazing work, and it's reassuring to know we're in such good hands."

The director was taken off guard by the polite nature of these two. Not that most rising stars were rude, but they tended to get a bit full of themselves. And it's not that he liked being mean, but the director was a naturally gruff man. He saw it as a side to his job to bring the stars' egos down a notch. Looks like that wouldn't be necessary with these two.

"Nice to meet you too..."

"Sorry. This is Allen, and that's Kanda. They're under my care." Lenalee said as she introduced them both.

"I see. Nice to meet both of you. Now let's get cracking. Let's start with the drums, shall we?"

"That's where I come in," Kanda said. Since Allen just knew piano and guitar, he was assigned to the drums. He had learned as a child as part of a music program in the orphanage and had been practicing again more recently, so it worked out fine. Most people thought drums were unrefined. Indelicate. Not...beautiful, as Kanda would put it. However, Kanda saw and learned about the sleek and sudden beauty of drums. They were strong instruments, and if there was something that Kanda liked almost as much as beauty, it was strength.

Kanda entered the small recording room where the drums were set up for their first song. He grabbed some standard wood tip drumsticks and adjusted a few of the toms and cymbals as he saw fit when he sat down. Once he was situated, he grabbed the headset hanging by a hook on the wall. Once he put the headset on he heard the manager's voice.

"Alright, can you hear me?"

"Yes," Kanda responded. The mics in the room picked his voice up and carried it to the director's headset.

"Good. We'll start recording the beat for the verses once you give us the go."

"I'm ready. Go ahead and start recording."

"Alright then, here we go."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

These kids continued to...slightly impress him. Normally, groups that came in would synthesize the instruments, or go with a more electric genre. Not that it didn't require skill, but said skill was left to the mixer and tech crew. Not the group themselves. Not that real instruments were never used, but it was becoming rarer. Meanwhile, here comes this - what were they called? Innocence? - and they demand to play it all themselves. Just the two of them. They said they'd edit the instruments to sound more digital if need be later, but they wanted to do it all themselves. It was surprising to say the least. The director had just seen them play every instrument on their own. That broody samurai-looking kid could play the drums rather well, not to mention the lead guitar. The silver haired boy played rhythm guitar and base, too. To top it all off, they wrote all this themselves? It was nearly unheard of in this day and age.

Usually, recording even one song was a long and tedious process. Changes were made along the way and errors needed to be fixed. But these two...it was as if they'd done this all their life. They cooperated with everyone, took critiques well, and hardly made any mistakes. Their song didn't need any changing either. A few tweaks in a chord here or there, or the removal and addition of a few notes when one of them felt it was off, but nothing major. So far, the director could even say he genuinely like the song. He knew himself enough to admit he was rather stiff with his music preferences, so that was saying something.

And that boy, Allen. He seemed to know what he was doing. Although he let the director do his job and mix the song and levels properly, when they listened to the final take, Allen made some suggestions.

"Excuse me, can you bring down the drums a bit on the verses? And bring down rhythm guitar on the chorus?"

The director and his assistant just looked at each other and he said, "I don't see why not. But what level do you want it at exactly?"

Surprisingly, Allen got up from the couch and walked over to the mixer to stand between the two. He pointed at the board and said, "May I?"

The director looked startled. His assistant was about to protest but he decided to let loose for once and see what would happen. Besides, there wasn't much damage even a completely inexperienced person could do as long as he saved the current settings.

"Sure. Just let me save these on a preset."

After he was done he rolled his chair back to let Allen have better access tot he soundboard. Allen reached out and adjusted a few things. A volume slider here, a bass setting there.

 _'Very minor changes,'_  the director thought.

However, when they listened to the end result, it sounded extremely different. And, the director admitted to himself, better. He looked at Allen, nodded his approval, and saved the new settings instead. Was there anything these kids couldn't do? And now they were both about to sing. At the same time. He had told them that it was probably a better idea to record each of their parts individually, but they insisted on singing together. He got a bit miffed about it, but decided to let them learn the hard way that singing at the same time usually ended in catastrophe. Most singers just didn't sync that well with each other in real time. Singing live was a different matter than recording, where every single slight inconsistency was picked up by the mics in high definition.

Lenalee saw the director's annoyance and apprehension and decided to speak up.

"I wouldn't worry too much if I were you."

"Hm?"

"About them singing at the same time...you haven't heard it so you wouldn't know."

"Know? Know what?"

"I think it'd just be better for you to listen for yourself. I promise this won't be a wasted take."

"..."

Still feeling very unconvinced, he turned back tot he board and looked at the pair through the glass window.

"Okay boys, I'm playing the intro, can you hear it?" Two thumbs ups. "Good. Start singing when you're supposed to come in, we're already recording."

Allen and Kanda nodded. They looked at each other, holding their gaze as the moment drew nearer. This was it. Do or die. It reached the point where they were about to sing, and Allen unconsciously reached out, his hand brushing ever so slightly against Kanda's before dropping back to his side. Allen started off with a gentle melody.

"I have to say  
honestly  
I wasn't one for love  
I told myself  
that fairy tales  
were all just a bluff"

"I fooled myself to thinking  
that love wasn't for me  
then someone special came along  
and taught me differently"

" _Love isn't something_  
you keep for yourself  
love is a present  
you give to all the world  
and someday, if you're lucky  
and you give out enough  
somebody else  
will return all that love"

Everyone in the studio was in awe. This was...virtually impossible. But it was happening right in front of their eyes. These two young men, who seemed so different from each other, were singing in perfect tandem. Allen had started perfectly on time, and Kanda had entered on his cue for the second verse. And the chorus. The chorus was a perfect mix of their two voices. Neither rose too far above the other, and their voices complimented each other so perfectly, as if the circumstances had aligned perfectly just for the moment these two sang together. The director doubted if he could have mixed them that well individually. And now, Kanda started off the third verse.

"It's different now  
somehow  
I feel so alive  
It's as if  
my eyes were closed  
all of this time"

"Every time I see your face  
my smile never fails  
it's as if you're full of magic  
and the world's our fairy tale"

" _So take it from me_

 _Love isn't something_  
you keep for yourself  
love is a present  
you give to all the world  
and someday, if you're lucky  
and you give out enough  
somebody else  
will return all that love

_Somebody love me_  
Oh somebody love me  
 _Somebody love..."_

The music faded, now only a slight strum of the guitar. Their voices came in soft waves of emotion.

"I have to say."

"Honestly."

"I wasn't one for love."

"I told myself."

"That fairy tales."

"Were all just a bluff."

" _But thanks to you  
I know that's not true_

 _Love isn't something_  
you keep for yourself  
love is a present  
you give to all the world  
and someday, if you're lucky  
and you give out enough  
somebody else  
will return all that love

_Somebody else  
will return all that love."_

Silence reigned as the last chord of the song rang out. The director stopped recording. Everyone started moving again. A few went up to congratulate the duo on a job well done. Meanwhile, the director stayed behind in the mixing room with Lenalee.

"Miss Lee, I must apologize for what I said earlier."

Lenalee recognized and appreciated that the director was being the bigger person about it and said, "Bygones, sir. It's fine."

"You should be proud of them. The last time I heard a song that good was nearly nine years ago. Music just hasn't been the same without that man. And as a result, I've seen tis country's hopes die a little along with him..."

Lenalee nodded, "I don't know about you, sir, but I've already rested my hopes on these two. They haven't let me down yet."

"Well, I guess I can hope too."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

And so, the days came and went. The recording was going smoother than expected and they were already half way done with their album. Finally, it was time.

The results were up.

Allen and Lavi were driving with Lenalee to the audition site, and Kanda had stayed behind at the studio to talk to the director about the mini album he'd be doing. Allen had felt a bit down, but that was wiped away when the nervousness set in. He was itching to see those results. It was already the end of the day, so they were probably some of the last ones to see them. Sure, they would be making calls tomorrow regarding who made it, but no one wanted to wait that long.

Finally, after a drive that seemed to stretch on forever, they pulled into the parking lot.

Allen, Lavi, and Lenalee got out and started to walk towards the doors. Allen could see the paper with the results from here. His heart was beating rapidly in his chest. His breathing was getting fast. He felt stiff and anxious. Then Lavi squeezed his shoulder and gave him a reassuring look. Allen smiled and most of the anxiety faded away.

Allen and Lavi looked at the list and...there...at the very top...

_Demon Slayer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Allen W.  
Demon Lord . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Lavi Bookman_

Allen couldn't believe it. They had done it. They had really, really  _done it_.

Lavi let out a relieved chuckle, as did Allen. Though instead of relieved, it was more like that shocked chuckle that some people utter after dodging the proverbial bullet. They looked at each other, then they burst out laughing and all of them ran in for a group hug.

"I knew it! I just knew you guys would get the part!" Lenalee cried out in happiness.

"Well, I wish you could have told us then, I was practically pissing myself back there!" Allen joked.

"I'm so happy I could kiss you guys!" Lavi said, earning playful gags and protests from the others.

"Let's get back and celebrate! I can't wait to tell Kanda I got the part," Allen said as he walked back to the car.

"Whoop-dee-doo," Lavi muttered, now slightly deflated as he followed Allen.

Lenalee was close enough to notice and caught herself wondering what Lavi's sudden and out-of-character spurt of grumpiness could mean. 

_'Wait, does Lavi...? No. No it couldn't be.'  
_

She watched the boys as they walked back to the car. Now, she really looked at Lavi's eyes when he looked at Allen. It wasn't quite the same as the look Kanda and Allen gave each other, but it was enough to worry her a bit. Of course she wanted everyone happy, but still.

_'If it's what I think it is, this might get a bit messy...'_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

On the ride back, something Lavi noticed kept bothering him. Something about the results. Every other person, including himself, had their last name listed...so...why did Allen have just a "W"?

_'Maybe gramps knows.'_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Allen practically flew into the dorms, up the stairs, and into his room. As soon as he saw the proud figure sitting straight in a chair in front of the desk, Allen ran over and hugged Kanda around the shoulders.

"Kanda! Kanda, you were right! I got the part!" Allen said gleefully, flashing him that unique smile.

Startled at first, Kanda reached up with one hand and grabbed Allen's arms, then realized who it was and looked up to see Allen's smiling face.

He smirked and said, "Duh. If you didn't I'd knock you a good one. No way I'd partner with someone who couldn't even do this much, beansprout."

Allen smiled playfully and muttered, "Bakanda. Seriously, how hard is it to say two syllables? Even toddlers can handle that much."

"Tch, whatever," Kanda grumbled halfheartedly.

Allen's smile dimmed when he saw what Kanda had been working on.

"That's...your recording contract?"

"What, beansprout? You look like your puppy just died." Kanda stood up and started walking, "Where'd that stupid grin go? Agh, it really is annoying! It's so annoying that I have to stop looking at you and this dumb contract and go downstairs for some soba. And that stupidly large appetite of yours is annoying, too. I might as well steam some sweet buns so you won't annoy me later."

With that rant Kanda walked out of the room, into the hall, and out of sight, leaving Allen to follow after him grinning like a fool.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

And so the arrangements were made. Lenalee, Allen, and Lavi met up with the director of The Demon. It turns out that he was the one who auditioned them, and he was much nicer outside of the audition room. 

"Sorry for scaring you both. My name is Jon Castilleja and as of now, I'm officially your boss. The first official cast meeting-slash-filming is this upcoming Monday! I'm giving you the scripts for the first episode now, so you'll have time to memorize and practice with each other. I know you're both new to this, so I'd like it if you'd trust me. And I'll trust you. That's what a cast is all about, right?"

"Right," they both replied, a bit stunned that the scary man that had auditioned them turned out to be this friendly and docile.

"Okay, so here are your scripts," he said, handing Lenalee the packets. "Are there any questions you two may have for me?"

Allen and Lavi couldn't help smiling in the comfortable atmosphere the man had set. They were actually sad to go once they asked a few more questions.

"That was surprising!" Allen chirped as they all got into the car.

"Yeah, he was totally stiff and intimidating at the auditions. No expression at all. Just there like a robot," Lavi rambled, doing a little impression at the end, making Allen's laughter ring throughout the car. After this kept going, Lavi joked, "Oi, what's so funny, huh?" Then he started tickling Allen around the ribs, making him laugh even harder.

"L-Lavi! AhahahahaIahahahacan'tahahaBREATHE! AHAHAHAHA! S-stop it ahaha I'm warning you! PfffftAhahaha I-I have no ahahahaha control! I'm gonna end up-" and then one of Allen's flailing limbs connected with Lavi's head. "- hitting you..."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kanda had met with the studio manager earlier in the day and now the schedule was settled. Both of them had agreed that recording should start bright and early tomorrow. Kanda entered the dorms exhausted and craving soba, only to find the beansprout there on the couch. This  _would_  have brightened his mood considerably, if it hadn't been for an unwanted addition in the scene.

"Geeze, Lavi, you seriously shouldn't have tickled me," Allen pouted, continuing the conversation he'd been having without noticing Kanda in the doorway. He was applying an ice pack to the left side of Lavi's head - which Kanda couldn't help but laugh silently at.

"Sorry sorry, I just couldn't help it. You're too cute!" the dumb rabbit chirped.

 _'Oi oi, wait a second here,'_  Kanda thought.

"Yeah, yeah, now hold still," Allen say playfully as he readjusted the ice pack.

"Don't wanna!" Lavi replied stubbornly as he leapt at Allen's unprotected rib cage.

"Ahahahaha L-Lavi stop it! Ahahahaa!" Allen said as he flailed about causing them both to fall off the couch and onto the floor.

They lay there for a second, laughing and being silly, before Allen saw a hand enter his view.

"Come on, sprout, you're dirty enough without laying on the floor like that."

Allen just smiled and looked up to see Kanda scowling there. He smiled, took the hand that was offered, and got up. "I'm not dirty, bakanda! When did you get back?"

"Just in time to see you two acting like idiots," Kanda said as he walked towards the stairs. Then, when he noticed Allen wasn't following he turned his head and said, "You coming?"

After nodding his head vigorously, Allen ran after Kanda and upstairs to their room, leaving Lavi there feeling left out. He just looked at the ice pack, lying forgotten on the couch and picked it up. After placing it on the side of he said, "That's cold."

 

[Scene end.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K: I'M SO SORRY LAVI


	12. Intermission Tres

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***
> 
> K: People that think this fic is just about Kanda and Allen hooking up...  
> K: ha  
> K: haha  
> K: ahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JUST WAIT  
> J: You're scaring the fans  
> K: GOOD  
> J: NO ITS BAD AND YOU NEED TO NOT
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING(S): none

_Intermission Tres_

The day started off normal enough. Allen woke up early to do his arm exercises, making sure not to wake up Kanda, then went back to sleep. Kanda woke up just after and took a shower. Then Allen did. They got dressed, Allen had to help Kanda look for his hair tie, and then they walked downstairs for breakfast. Kanda was about to reach for the newspaper, which Komui always left on the table after he was done reading it...only it wasn't there. Strange. Had he not retrieved it from the mailbox yet? Or was it just not delivered? Either way, this meant he had to go outside to check. He slipped on his shoes, then stepped out onto the front steps of the dorm to go check the small box on the sidde of the building that the newspaper would normally be left in. As soon as he set foot outside, he wished he could curl up into a ball and get swallowed by the Earth.

There, a small ways in front of the Order, was Lenalee. She was talking to an elderly man with bushy brown hair as she scrunched her eyebrows and pointed at the building as if saying, "Yes, this is the building you're asking about."

The man then took on a look of shock, raising his bushy eyebrows high above his glasses, as if he didn't expect to find it so easily.

 _'Of course. I usually make myself harder to find,'_ Kanda thought.

The man looked up before Kanda could dive for cover and smiled as he shouted, "Yuu!"

_"Fuck."_

"So this is where you were! I flew into Korea as soon as I could after you left the note saying where you'd gone - by the way Yuu, you should put more than five words, people worry - and imagine my surprise when I'm sitting in an airport cafe and I see _my_ Yuu on a huge poster for some skin care product. I asked the first person I saw if they knew where you were, and now here I am, Yuu!"

"Don't call me that," Kanda hissed as he covered his face in a rare moment of complete and utter embarrassment.

"Kanda, you know this man?" Lenalee asked.

The man turned around to respond to Lenalee as Kanda was making frantic neck slicing motions to her behind the man's back, but it was too late. The man smiled and said, "Why, yes! Nice to meet you. I'm Froi Tiedoll; Yuu's papa!"

Lenalee's mouth dropped into a little 'o' as Kanda smacked his palm into his face and growled. He heard a chorus of small gasps - and a snort, how _dare_ - behind him and whipped around to see, not only Allen, but Komui, Reever, Lavi, and Miranda all huddled in the doorway, all with the same expression as Lenalee. Kanda threw his hands in the air as if saying 'I give up'.

He had already had enough when Lavi said, "Wow, Yuu-chan, your dad is waaaay nicer than you!"

As soon as the words left that _stupid_ rabbit's _stupid_ mouth, Tiedoll started tearing up as he moved in for a hug that Kanda tried desperately and failed miserably to avoid.

"Oh, Yuu, you've made a friend! I'm so happy! I need to tell your brothers about this!"

And at the look of utter indignation on Kanda's face, poor Allen and Lavi just couldn't take it anymore. They burst into a huge fit of giggles as Komui, Reever and Miranda tried to disguise their own as coughs and the occasional sputter. Kanda whipped towards them, not looking half as menacing as usual while there was a crying middle aged man clamped around his waist, and said, "Shut up you idiot combo! Sprouts and rabbits should just shut u-Gah! Oi, you old geezer, get offa me! Agh!"

However, Tiedoll ignored him as he pulled out a cell phone and called someone.

"Marie? Daisya? You'll never guess what happened! I found Yuu, and he has two friends! _Two!_  I'm so happy I could die!"

Kanda, completely mortified by this point, snatched the phone from Tiedoll and growled, "The old geezer is getting delusional. Bye."

He tossed the phone back to Tiedoll with a glare, and sighed in exasperation as he turned to face the others. There was no way he was getting out of explaining this one.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

About an hour later, Allen, Kanda, Lenalee, and Tiedoll all sat around the dining table after a long discussion about Kanda's past.

"So, let me get this straight. You, Kanda, are a test tube baby. And this man, Tiedoll, is your biological father. You didn't meet him until a year after your mother's accident. He found you because he saw the name Kanda in the newspaper on his trip to Korea, and it sounded familiar. He keeps track of all the people his, uh, donations go to, and once he realized who you were, he arranged for your adoption?"

"That's it in a nutshell," Kanda grumbled. "And now I'm stuck with this sap of a father."

"You called me father!? I need to tell Daisya and Marie right away! Hello? Daisya? You'll never guess-" Tiedoll cried, pulling out his phone.

"Knock it off!" Kanda growled as he snatched the phone and snapped it shut. He pinched the bridge of his nose and gestured towards Tiedoll in annoyance. He just gave the others a look that screamed,  _'_ _Do you see what I had to deal with?'_

Lenalee rolled her eyes and continued, "And several months ago, you awoke in France to find Kanda gone, with only a note saying  _Went to Korea. Don't follow."_

"That's it. This wasn't the first time he's run off like this. I'm always worried whenever he leaves a note saying he's gone to some country or other, but I understand. I can be just a tad bit overbearing sometimes."

 _'A tad bit?'_  The others thought as Kanda's forehead connected with the table. They'd already seen enough of this man's antics to tell he was even worse than Komui.

"Wait so, Kanda, do you know other languages?"

Everyone looked at Allen as he blushed. "Just curious is all," he muttered.

"French and German," Kanda replied with a confident smirk.

"That's amazing! I know German myself, but I haven't really learned much French. You should learn Italian. It's a beautiful language."

"If I have the time, sure. Sounds interesting," Kanda said, instantly interested at the prospect of learning a beautiful language. "You'll teach me?"

"Sure," Allen answered with a smile.

Tiedoll looked at the interaction between the two and smiled. Never before had he seen Kanda being so...pleasant. Sure he still talked a bit plainly, but this was such a drastic difference than the way he usually spoke to others that Tiedoll, the romantic soul that he was, saw the connection between these two almost instantly. He looked at Lenalee and sent her a knowing look. She just shrugged and mouthed, _'Kids.'_

 _'Indeed,'_  Tiedoll thought to himself. He watched the two bicker a bit about something trivial. He couldn't stop watching the youth with white hair. There was something eerily familiar about him...he'd seen him somewhere before. Not just the advertisements at the airport. He knew him.., Then he was distracted when he saw Kanda actually smile, a rare sight even though he had lived with the boy for years, and decided on something that he never thought he'd do...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Once night came around, Kanda was throwing away his soba tray as Tiedoll said goodbye to everyone. There was an annoying weight in his chest. He hadn't wanted to bring it up when the others around, but whenever Tiedoll showed up, it was to bring him back home. Not that Tedoll could force him to. He was already nineteen after all, and he was prepared to use that card if it came down to it. But as much as he hated to admit it, Tiedoll had influence over him. He...cared for the man. How could he not? He'd done a lot for Kanda, and he was a genuinely good person. One of the few that Kanda had ever known. But damn was the man annoying.

"I see you still like to tie up that long hair of yours, Yuu. How long has it been now since you last cut it?"

He jerked around when he heard the name. "None of your beeswax old man. And stop calling me that," he quipped, giving a gruff response out of habit and annoyance.

"Yuu-"

"I said stop!" he said, only barely keeping himself from shouting, his voice coming out in a harsh whisper.

"...Do you still remember them when you hear it? Your mother? And the boy?"

"..."

"It's been years. Don't you think they'd want you to move on?"

"I don't...I don't remember them anymore. When I hear it..."

"Then why-"

"It's _because_ I don't remember them that I don't want to hear it!"

He didn't want to think about them going farther and farther away. He never showed it, he was sure not to show it, but Kanda was plagued by guilt. The guilt of the living. He had been the only one to survive that crash. His mother had died, and the other car...the ones in the other car had been the family of his only friend. He'd been the only one left. And he'd made it his job to make sure he never forgot that fact. That he never forgot them. But lately their images were being replaced. Brown eyes were being replaced by silver, black hair by white, their smiles were morphing together.

He wasn't really sure how to feel about it. He didn't hate it. But that didn't mean he had to like that it was happening. Was this what moving on was? Not being able to remember if his mother's nose crinkled up when she smiled? Not being able to recall how his best friend, his only friend, had said his name?

No, he definitely wasn't sure how to feel about it.

Tiedoll shrugged as he sat at the table and gestured for Kanda to sit beside him. Kanda scrunched his nose in distaste, but did it anyways. After a moment of silence, Tiedoll spoke.

"So you're planning to stay this time?"

Here it was. Just as Kanda predicted, Tiedoll was going to ask him to come home. He was going to have to leave. He'd have to say goodbye. Stop singing with Allen and dancing with Allen and spending time with Allen. Funny how much the little guy had squirmed his way into Kanda's life over just a couple of months. He opened his mouth to argue, but Tiedoll stopped him with one word.

"Okay."

"...What?"

"I said okay. You can stay. As long as you promise me one thing."

"O...kay?" Kanda agreed dumbly, still in a bit of shock from the easy approval.

"Keep smiling, okay?"

"...! You! You stupid old geezer!" Kanda sputtered as he got up and stormed upstairs.

Tiedoll chuckled. Kanda was actually surprisingly easy to fluster, if you knew what buttons to press. He grabbed his bag, and stepped outside, surprised to see someone walking by the building. Someone he knew rather well.

"Marian? Cross Marian?"

"Holy...Tiedoll? Is that you, you sentimental fuck?" Cross said with a crazy smile as he approached the man and gave his hand a good shake. "I take it you heard your kid is here, huh?"

"Yes, but what are  _you_  doing here, Cross?" Tiedoll asked.

"...Nothing in particular," Cross said nonchalantly. However, Tiedoll had known this man too long, and he noticed the small flick of his eyes as he looked at the Dark Order building.

And it clicked.

He did know the boy. He knew him all too well. How could he not?

"My God. It's Walker, isn't it? Cross...what's going on here? Why did you come back to Korea?"

Cross sighed and said, "Don't worry about it."

"I can't help but be worried if you're getting into something dangerous. Wait...you aren't still poking your nose into that incident, are you?"

"Look, no offense, but shove off. I don't need you worrying about my business. I already get enough of that from Anita."

"Of course I'm going to worry if it involves the boy my son's in love with."

Cross stood there in shock for a moment, processing that information before he muttered, "Fuck."

He looked around and pulled Tiedoll off from the sidewalk towards some trees before continuing, "Look, I'll tell it to you straight. Tell your boy to stay away from Allen if he knows what's good for him. Shut up, I know what you're thinking and I couldn't give a flying fuck if they're gay or not. But if he starts getting too curious...it can get messy."

Tiedoll's eyes hardened as he said, "So you  _are_  still looking into the shooting. Stop digging around, there's more than your safety on the line here! What about Allen? Hasn't the boy been through enough? It was a freak incident. A crazy murderer out for attention. That's what the authorities said. Just play it safe for once in your life, you fool."

"Bullshit. You don't believe that any more than I do or you wouldn't be so worried. There was someone else pulling the strings, I just _know_ it. And I'll find them if it's the last thing I do," Cross growled before turning around and walking away. "Remember what I said Tiedoll. It's for your own good," he whispered. And then he was gone.

Tiedoll stood there for while, shaken up, before he looked back at the Order.

"I hope I'm making the right decision. Be safe, Yuu."

Then he too was gone, down the streets, leaving behind a heavy air surrounding the Dark Order and it's unknowing inhabitants.

 

[Intermission end.]


	13. Scene IX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** EDITED ***
> 
> K: Promise me you guys won't hate me.  
> K: I'm not joking you need to promise me before you read the chapter.  
> K: PROMISE ME OKAY DON'T HATE ME PLEASE.  
> K: YOU MAY THINK IM JOKING BUT IM DEAD SERIOUS
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING(S): depression, suicide mention, suicidal thoughts, mild violence
> 
> K: YEAH. YEAH ALL OF THAT. PLEASE PROMISE YOU WON'T HATE ME OH GOD.

**Scene IX:**  
 _O Kanda Kanda, Wherefore Art Thou Kanda?_

Allen was tired.

He wasn't just  _any_  tired. See, there's the 'I haven't gotten any sleep' tired, the 'I just got pummeled by a wild orangutan' tired, there's even the 'I haven't slept in a week and I was just trampled on by a  _pack_  of orangutans and their zookeeper' tired. And then there's Allen. All of the above times thirteen to the power of nine.

They had him and Lavi filming from 5AM until all hours of the night. That in itself was exhausting enough, but then people followed him everywhere. They were there from the moment he woke up, to the moment he fell asleep. There was even this one bathroom incident...ugh. Traumatizing to say the least. Needless to say, the show had gotten extremely popular. The projected demographic was mostly for older teenage boys, but it turned out that it had stretched to teenage girls, too. Hordes of them stalked him and chase after him. It was kind of cute at first, but Allen soon learned that they were just rabid wolves in sheep's clothing.

However, though he may complain that it was tiring, Allen really did love his job. The plot to the show was amazing. It was incredibly fulfilling to be able to bring it to life. Not to mention that, whenever he was lacking in energy, Lavi always found some way to bring it up again.

Over the past month of filming, Allen had grown to think of Lavi as one of his best friends. The red-head was always finding ways to make him smile. Lavi was like a big bright bundle of jokes and laughs. His green eyes sparkled with glee whenever he made a joke - usually at someone else's expense. Allen actually really enjoyed his time with Lavi. They spent hours together, just deepening their characters, talking, and helping each other out. It was the better part of the whole thing. He felt really close to Lavi, but he couldn't help feeling that sometimes Lavi was getting a bit  _too_  close...but...this was Lavi. His friend. He saw no harm in it, and it was only Lavi joking around.

The only downside to this entire thing was that he hardly ever got to see Kanda.

Filming took so long that, whenever he got back to the dorms, Kanda was either out recording his mini album or passed out on his bed. And Kanda got up even earlier than he did normally - not counting his morning exercises...that he hadn't had time to do lately - so most of his recording sessions were even earlier than Allen's. He was already gone when he woke up. Allen just hoped that they'd be able to talk more once the filming for season one was over, which wouldn't be too long now.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Lavi was on edge.

He was at his wits end. He didn't know what to do. He was practically pulling his hair out. Scratch that, he  _was_  pulling his hair out. He tossed his red extensions aside and rubbed his scalp in slight relief. But only slight. He didn't bother to clean off the stage makeup as they were only on a short break, and he didn't want to even  _try_  to take off the eccentric outfit he was in. He was still a bit edgy, and it was due to the horrible fact that he was getting...well...nowhere. And who, you may ask, was causing him such anxiety? None other than Allen, of course.

It was like every time he thought he was getting somewhere, it turned out he had taken another step back. And he did make sure to step back if he felt that he was making Allen uncomfortable. That wasn't what he wanted. But he couldn't help unknowingly leaning a bit closer, looking a bit longer, smiling a bit brighter. It was horrible, this feeling in his chest. Thanks to the show they were spending a lot of time together. They were closer than ever, but Lavi could't have been farther from his goal.

He wanted to go out with Allen. Screw the fact that they were famous. Forget that he was totally and undeniably in love with that damn Yuu Kanda. He didn't even care that they were both guys. Allen was perfect and pure and solid. Lavi wanted Allen. No. He _needed_ Allen. He needed someone solid, or he'd collapse. He could feel himself sagging already.

He never talked about it, but when he was younger his parents divorced. A common enough occurrence, and that in itself wouldn't weight on him like this...But after they'd split, neither of them wanted to take him in. After being tossed from relative to relative, sometimes even put in foster care, his grandfather had stepped forward and taken him in. The years went by, and Lavi...long story short, he'd had to battle his inner demons. Born out of stress and negativity...but he was better now. As "better" as one could be after everything that happened. But he'd felt empty. He craved affection. Needed it like he needed air. He went out with many different people of different genders, but none of them had lasted long. It wasn't that he was afraid of commitment. On the contrary, he was too committed. He was often the one dumped instead. Some people called it clingy. Some people called it obsession. Others just didn't like him being too doting. Lavi himself didn't know what to call it. All he knew was that he needed something stable. Someone that would be there for him, forever. Someone who wouldn't leave him alone. He shuddered at the thought. Alone. Just thinking about it frightened him. It brought up muddy memories of when he had nowhere to stay. Being pulled back and forth between one temporary home and the next. It was a horribly dark time in his life. No one loved him. No one wanted him. He had been, in every definition of the word, alone. Except, that is, for one brief period of time...

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_xxxxxxxxxx_

In one particular foster home, he had hit an all time low. He was about ten, and he was already in a serious bout of depression. He felt as if no one would ever want him. What was the point of continuing if he wasn't needed by anyone? He had no dreams. No hopes. No one to lean on. No one that would miss him if he was gone. Just an empty hollow in his chest. Empty. Empty...did he even exist? Would anything change at all if he was gone? These thoughts kept echoing in his head as he steadily climbed the stairs to the roof. He had felt determined as he pushed on the door...

...and it didn't budge. he tried again with a bit more force, and again, nothing.

"It won't open no matter how much you push."

Lavi spun around as he heard a voice behind him. A girl was standing there, observing him with a cold stony stare.

"Wh...wha...?" Lavi had said dumbly.

"They put a lock on it after the last kid tried to kill themselves."

Lavi's eyes widened. He'd been found out. And so easily too. He tried to play it cool, and act as if he wasn't about to do the very same thing.

"What idiot did that?"

The girl just quirked an eyebrow and responded, "Me."

Lavi flinched a bit at the strangely conversational tone in her voice. She didn't seem phased at all.

"...O...oh."

 _'What am I supposed to say in this situation?'_  Lavi thought desperately.

The girl just sighed and walked towards him. She held out her hand, palm up, and made a give-it-here motion. Lavi didn't know what she meant until she spoke.

"Your hand."

Lavi blushed a bit, but complied with the request.

"Now close your eyes," she said with a small glare to make sure he'd do it.

 _'What the heck is going on?'_  Lavi thought frantically. His mind was racing a mile a minute trying to figure out what would happen. Then he felt a sharp pain spread from the back of his hand all the way to his elbow and fingertips.

"YEOW!" he screamed as he instantly opened his eyes and snatched his hand away to hold it to his chest.

The girl was still standing there with her and held out, and her other hand was just above where his hand was a moment ago.

"You...you slapped me. That hurt!"

"Yeah it hurt. What did you expect falling off the roof would be like? That was for even thinking about killing yourself. I can tell you from personal experience that it wouldn't do you any good."

"Why are you even bothering me?" Lavi said, slightly ticked off, but feeling more ashamed than anything. "You don't know me. You don't know what I've been through. Why even help me?" Lavi spat angrily, taking his shame out on the girl.

She just gave him a long look and said, "The only reason I'm here today is because someone caught me before I hit the ground. Since I can't help that person, the least I could do was help another."

And without another glance, she just walked away.

But Lavi didn't leave it there. From then on he followed her around like a puppy. At first she seemed annoyed, then she accepted defeat and dealt with it once he didn't give up. They hardly talked, but Lavi learned that she wanted to become famous like her idol, though she wouldn't say who it was. Then, only a few days after their meeting, Lavi was told that it had been settled. He was going to live with his grandfather, who had come forward to take him in. As he lugged his suitcase out to the car, he spotted her watching from the gates. He put down his suitcase and walked over to her.

"Goodbye," she said simply.

"Yeah...bye..." Lavi responded a little hollowly.

She blinked and then sighed as she tousled his hair roughly. "Oi oi oi. No frowns. It's annoying...Besides, we'll see each other again. I'm gonna be famous, remember? Just find me then!"

"Really? It's a promise?" Lavi asked hopefully.

She held out her hand, palm up, and made a give-it-here motion. Lavi cradled his hand and glared at her suspiciously.

"I'm not going to slap you, you idiot. Just gimme your hand!"

She reached out and caught his hand then twined their pinkies together.

"So it's a pinky promise?" Lavi asked. This was reassuring. I mean, you just don't break pinky promises. It's...illegal...or something.

"Not yet, you have to chant first," she barked. Then she cleared her throat and shook their hands up and down as she said in a sing song voice, "Pinky Pledge! If you're lying, I'll make you drink a thousand needles and cut your finger."

"Wh-wh-what kind of pledge is that!?" Lavi asked, feeling a bit sick.

"Eh? You have to say it too," she said with a glare that now seemed more threatening than usual.

Lavi stuttered out the strange chant and they released each other's pinkies.

"That was weird. I've never made that kind of pinky promise before."

"You mean you don't do that in Korea?" she asked.

Before he could ask what she meant, Lavi heard his Grandpa calling him from the car.

"I have to go now," Lavi sighed sadly.

"Hmph. Good riddance!" she said half heartedly.

"Bye...um...bye...uuuuh..." Lavi started. Then his eyes went wide and he screamed, "I don't even know your name!"

"Ugh. So loud. My name is ..." she replied.

"Okay! Bye, ...!" Lavi said as he ran off!

"What the...? Hey! Hey wait, what's yours!?" the girl yelled after the vehicle.

"... ...!" Lavi yelled, but he was already too far away.

_xxxxxxxxxx_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

No matter how hard Lavi tried, he couldn't remember her name. It was the only thing in his life he couldn't accurately remember, and it made him angry every time he thought about it.

"Dammit! Photographic memory my ass!" he yelled as he kicked a tree on set when he thought no one was looking. He needed to vent though. He needed to calm down. He shouldn't have let the memory take him over, but it came up every now and then when he had too much time to think. It's why he liked to keep himself busy.

"Lavi? What are you doing?" Lavi heard from right behind him. He jumped around in surprise, and his scowl was instantly replaced with a smile.

"Allen! Don't scare me like that!"

"Sorry! What about your memory?" Allen asked innocently.

"Eh?"

"You just yelled something about memory. Are you having trouble with lines? Although I doubt you a-"

"Yes! I'm having trouble with lines! Mind helping me a bit?" Lavi instantly jumped on the chance to spend more time with Allen. The boy had a soothing influence on him. The kind that made him want to curl up and fall asleep and actually dream something nice for once.

But in his current get up, Lavi couldn't help but stare.

Allen hardly needed any make-up, but Lavi wasn't complaining for the simple touches they had put. Allen's eyes looked a bit more heavy. Less like an innocent seventeen year old and more like a young man. His perfect cheekbones and jawline were accentuated by a bit of shadows and highlights. Contoured in just the right places. And his scar was painted in the typical silver, though Lavi never really cared for that touch. He'd seen Allen without the paint and always thought the scar only added to his facial features, sloping ever so slightly to cup his cheek. But Lavi figured Allen had his reasons. And a scar like that was most likely from something traumatic. So he never really brought it up.

As for Allen's hair, it looked stunning. His bangs hung a bit in front of his face, but were sloped gently to the right. The back was spiked in a messy way, looking tousled, but styled at the same time. A black and silver mask that was normally over his eyes was placed slanted slightly on the crest of Allen's head. A nice touch that accentuated how silver Allen's hair really was, making it seem to shine in the sunlight.

And his outfit. Dear Lord the leather. A vest that looked straight out of Edward Scissorhands with all it's buckles and straps, and pants that accentuated Allen's legs, which were actually pretty long, given his height, along with Allen's leather gloves and boots. They might as well have put him in a body suit. Then they finished the look by draping a cloak on Allen's back; a shimmering white, to match his hair.

All in all, he looked practically divine. Like a beautiful fallen angel.

Allen just smiled irresistibly and said, "Of course I'll help you, Lavi."

God he loved the way his name sounded when Allen said it.

Unfortunately, it was mostly that guy's name that fell from his lips.

Lavi shook off the bad feelings creeping up on him and smiled at Allen. "Good. How about we practice over there on that bench?"

"Sure!" Allen chirped as they walked side by side to the small bench on set underneath a beautiful archway that looked straight out of a fantasy.

Well, technically it was.

With this setting, Lavi just hoped he could make a little bit of progress.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kanda was stressed.

He was up to his neck with singing. He loved to sing, don't get him wrong, but there's a limit to how much of one thing a person can stand in a short period of time. He'd hardly had any human contact in the past month aside from Lenalee and the studio manager. The recording for his mini-album was going so much slower than their CD had. Probably because some of the more popular bands were making their debut. Schedules were packed and he still had interviews and practice and singing to do. Kanda was sick of going back and forth and back and forth.

 _'I swear I'll make enough money soon to build our own studio here. Tch, damn annoying,'_  Kanda thought. As it was they barely had enough profits to pay off their current building, which was just the dorms, office, and dance hall. But imagining them all moving into a nicer set of dorms, and everything being in one building, and having their own studio...it was enough to keep him going.

Thankfully today was the last day. He had finally finished that damn mini album. It was a lot tougher without the sprout there to help, though he would never admit that to anyone. Allen was the one who always knew the perfect final touches to put.

He dragged himself up the stairs, leaving that slave-driver of a manager to her evil schemes and nearly walked in the door before he remembered that there was this thing called a doorknob and he needed to turn it to get to his bed. As soon as the bed was in sight, he flopped face first into the cushions then curled his blankets around him like a cocoon. Extremely pleased with this position, he was about to knock out when...

"Oh Kandaaaa~!" he heard the devil's voice from behind him. He turned his head ever so slowly with a feeling of dread. His bad feeling only increased when he saw the look on Lenalee's face. That smile was never good. That smile meant more money for the company, which meant more work for Kanda.

"I called the director of The Demon and since you're done he wants to start recording right away. Come on ya big caterpillar let's go!" she announced as she left to get the car ready.

Though he was sorely tempted to just inch his way across the floor in his cocoon, Kanda sighed, unwrapped himself, and trudged after her. A few minutes into the car ride, he noticed something.

"This isn't the way to the studio."

"Of course not, silly. We'll be recording on set. We're heading to the set of The Demon right now."

Instantly, an image of the sprout came to the front of Kanda's mind. A rare smile graced his face as he whispered, "Is that so?"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Upon arriving on set, he was whisked away to the recording room, which was really a trailer decked out to act as a mini recording studio.

They handed him the lyrics and played out the melody on a piano that, for some reason, reminded him a bit of Allen. Maybe because it was all white? Either way, he had to learn everything from scratch. It was his first time recording a song that wasn't his own, so the whole thing was a bit bumpy, but all in all it was going rather smoothly.

He was almost done with the first song when the directer came in.

"I decided to drop by and see how things were going since the actors are on break. How are you doing, Kanda?"

"I'm fine, sir. I just need to put on the finishing to...tou..." Kanda was interrupted by a yawn that came unwillingly from his mouth. He flushed a bit in embarrassment and was about to apologize for the rudeness of it when the director raised a hand to stop him.

"It's fine. You can't help your strange bodily impulses. Why don't you take a break, hm? Get fresh and energized for the next song."

Surprised by the man's weird phrasing and generosity, Kanda gladly accepted. He thanked the director before taking his leave.

As soon as he stepped out of the trailer he smirked and said, "Actors on break, huh? Now, if I was a beansprout, where would I be?"

He wandered around a bit and decided to head for a big arch that he saw beyond some trees. When he was just a small ways away he heard voices, one of which sounded suspiciously sprout-ish. Kanda heard the word "demon" being shouted and came to the conclusion that Allen must still be doing something for the show, so he was content to lean against one of the trees and just listen.

"I thought I sensed a rat nearby. Come out, hunter," a somewhat annoying voice said, but he couldn't pinpoint who was speaking yet. Plus, their voice was rough, supposedly in character, so it was hard to tell.

"Your senses are as high as ever. As expected from a monster like you."

Kanda was surprised to hear such passionate loathing in the normally gentle voice. Was that really the sprout that just spoke?

"Hmph, you're as easy to find as ever. As expected of a weak rat like you."

"Funny. Looks like this weak rat gave you quite a lasting memory if your arm is anything to go by," Allen responded coolly. Kanda was now distinctly impressed by how well Allen could act, and found himself trying to imagine the scene play out before him.

"After all this time, I finally have you cornered," Allen continued.

"Who's got who cornered now?" the other growled.

"Why you...! You tricked me!"

"Ahahahaha! What else did you expect from a demon, boy?"

"You're right. And to think I though you may have a semblance of honor in you. I...I...line!"

Kanda nearly fell as h was jerked out of the experience. So much for great acting...

"Ah! Allen! We were almost done!" A now familiar - and increasingly annoying - voice came from the archway.

_'Tch! Should have known it was the stupid rabbit.'_

"Well it's no fair! You're the only one with the script, Lavi. This is hard."

"It's  _my_  script and  _I'm_  the one with line trouble...or at least I'm supposed to be," Lavi teased. "Why don't you just come over here so we can read it together?"

"Okay."

"Eh?"

Kanda heard some shuffling and then he heard that bastard of a rabbit chuckle like he'd hit the jackpot. Disgusting. He really should intervene now...

He looked around the tree to see...Lavi leaning in  _way_ too close to Allen. And Allen was just...just...sitting there! Oblivious!

Then Lavi did something that  _really_  sent him over the edge. He pulled Allen into the space between his legs and rested his head on the sprout's shoulder.

"Eh! L-Lavi, what...?"

"It's easier for me to read this way."

 _'Bullshit!'_  Kanda yelled mentally.

"Oh. Okay."

_'No! Not freaking okay! He's practically molesting you! Why don't you do somethi-'_

And then Kanda saw it. Allen was blushing. And smiling. and being perfectly happy all wrapped up in Lavi's arms. He was perfectly content snuggling with the red head when Kanda was about to kiss him just a few weeks prior.

He didn't want to admit that it hurt.

It did. It _hurt._  He had opened up. Yeah, he admits it. He'd opened up to the sprout over and over. Bit by bit. Hell, he had come all the way out here energized by the simple fact that he may have been able to see him for a while. To tease or joke or talk with him. And here he was. Perfectly content. Without him. Allen was his own person. He knew that. He knew from the beginning he had no control over anyone else's emotions. But he'd thought...he'd thought that Allen...but he was wrong apparently.

"Tch!" Kanda ticked, before he stormed off in the opposite direction, getting back on the pavement and as far away from those stupid idiots as possible. He thought he heard his name being called, but he couldn't process it too well. His ears were buzzing. His chest felt like lead. He didn't like this feeling. He didn't like it at all.

When he was a good distance away he had to take a minute to compose himself. He was breathing hard trying to calm down. He was Kanda. Kanda who never lost control. Always did exactly as he wanted. He was losing himself and it was all that damned sprout's fault.

"Never...again...Never again," he muttered towards the sky before finding a bench and collapsing on it, he energy spent. And wasted.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Allen and Lavi ran through their lines as they sat facing each other.

"After all this time...I've finally got you cornered," Allen growled.

"Who's got who cornered now?" Lavi purred.

"Why you...! You tricked me!" Allen yelled, pretending to see invisible foes rise up all around and capture him.

"Ahahahaha! What else did you expect from a demon, boy?"

"You're right. And to think I though you may have a semblance of honor in you. I...I...line!"

"Ah! Allen! We were almost done!" Lavi said in mild exasperation.

"Well it's no fair! You're the only one with the script, Lavi. This is hard," Allen pouted.

"It's  _my_  script and  _I'm_  the one with line trouble...or at least I'm supposed to be," Lavi teased. Allen was cute when he was like this. "Why don't you just come over here so we can read it together?"

"Okay."

"Eh?" Lave said, surprised but extremely pleasde by Allen's decision.

"Eh! L-Lavi, what...?" Allen stuttered as Lavi pulled him into a very compromising position. Not really used to being so close to another guy, Allen couldn't help but blush.

"It's easier for me to read this way."

"Oh. Okay."

 _'As long as it helps,'_  he thought to himself. It was actually rather comfortable too, though for some reason his heart was speeding up a bit. _'Geez, slow down! This is Lavi here.'_

Then he thought he heard...

"Kanda?"

And that's when his heart hit full throttle.

Lavi froze.

"He wouldn't be here Allen," Lavi said in a forcefully cheerful tone that Allen didn't pick up on.

"Yeah...I guess..." Allen said, but he couldn't help looking around one more time. Then, sure enough, Allen spotted him down the way, rushing off somewhere.

"I knew it! Be right back Lavi!" Allen chirped as he ran off to find Kanda.

Lavi, his arms suddenly empty, had nothing to do but hug himself.

"Dammit...!"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Allen was looking for Kanda. Not an easy thing to do with his horrid sense of direction, but he had a feeling that he was still near by; and sure enough, there he was, sitting on a bench and looking a the ground.

"Kanda!" Allen called happily as he walked over.

But Kanda didn't look up.

Thinking that the man must not have recognized his voice, he said, "Hey, it's Allen!"

"I know perfectly well who you are, stupid beansprout. Did it occur to you that I just don't want to see your face right now?"

A sharp pain went through Allen's chest as he stopped dead in his tracks a few feet from Kanda. There was an unmistakable venom in Kanda's tone. One he hadn't heard since they first met.

"Wh...what?"

"You heard me. Go away."

"What are you saying?" Allen whispered, wounded.

At this point Kanda finally looked up, and his spiteful glare sent another lance straight through Allen's chest.

"I'm saying I don't want you near me!"

"Kanda, what happened? You're not like this usually. Why-"

"Why? Because I've had enough! That's why! I've had enough of you and your annoying face so why don't you just go back to your stupid show with that fucking stupid rabbit!" Kanda yelled.

"Oi, I don't know why the hell you're suddenly mad at me, but don't you dare take it out on my friend!"

By now, Allen and Kanda were practically yelling in each other's faces. They glared down each other's noses and Kanda growled, "Oh, and what'll you do about it, sprout? Correct me? Defend him even more? Then what else is he, besides a stupid rabbit? Perhaps some demented dog? Or a cheating cat?"

Kanda never even expected the punch that came flying at his face. He staggered back and managed to keep his footing. Once he came out of his shock he reached a hand up to touch the cheek that was hit.

"You fucking dare...!" Kanda yelled as he ran at Allen and grabbed his collar. He pulled his fist back to retaliate, but he made the mistake of looking into Allen's eyes – eyes full of anger and hurt – and froze for a split second.

 _'Fuck_.'

But that moment was enough for Allen to kick Kanda's legs out from under him. The move backfired and Kanda ended up on top of Allen.

"What the hell beansprout!? You'd really put that stupid rabbit above me, your partner? Willing to hit me for him? What, do you _like_ him or something? So he's gay too? Hah! Friends? Don't make me laugh!"

Wrong move.

Allen's eyes flared as he summoned the strength to flip Kanda over. Kanda looked into Allen's wild eyes as one fist grabbed his collar, and the other was pulled back to knock him into the pavement. Kanda closed his eyes and braced for impact.

One second passed.

And another.

He felt something drip onto his face and his eyes flew open in shock.

Immediately, regret washed over him. Everything that he'd said and done...for what? Because _he_ was hurt? Because  _he_ was spiteful? Because  _he_ was upset? God, he was an idiot. He'd let his emotions get to him and look what he'd done. The scene awaiting him when he opened his eyes was one he had hoped to never see again, much less to cause.

Allen hadn't used his fist to punch him, but had instead moved his hand to try and cover his face. He had tears streaming down his cheeks, and wasn't making a sound, though his body was wracked with horrible, silent sobs.

They stayed there a few more seconds before Allen managed to speak in a deep and trembling voice.

"How dare you. How _dare_ you, I- You don't know anything at all! You said that so _easily_ , even though for all this time I've...for _you_ I've...! Damn you...you fucking..."

Allen wiped his face and stood up. Kanda laid there on the ground, unable and unwilling to move. Allen had started to walk away when he seemed to remember something. He turned his head a bit, not bothering to even look back and said, "Happy now? I don't want to see your face either."

And then Allen was gone, leaving the biggest fool in the world to think about what he'd done.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Let's go," Lavi heard from behind him.

"What happened? I thought you were with Kanda." Lavi asked childishly. Then he turned around and saw the state that Allen was in. He was instantly worried and sprang up next to the boy to inspect him, but Allen just brushed past him and kept walking.

"Wait, Allen, what happened? Did he do this because I _swear_ I'll- I said wait!" Lavi shouted, grabbing Allen's arm. He stopped, but didn't turn around.

Allen was silent for a moment before replying. "I was. He left. Now let go."

"No! Not until you tell me what happened!"

"I don't..."

"Don't what?"

"I don't _know_ , dammit!" Allen said, yanking his arm free. "I don't know. We fought...we fought but I don't know _why._  It was so  _stupid!_ And...God, why does it hurt so bad? Why am I so confused because of this ass hole?" Allen asked himself, practically yanking his hair out.

"Because you love him," Lavi whispered painfully, just loud enough for Allen to hear. It hurt Lavi to have to say it out loud, but it was true. He saw Allen's back stiffen at the accusation.

"I...I don't...know anymore..." Allen admitted hollowly. And it was true. He didn't know the Kanda that had said and done those horrible things. That wasn't the Kanda he knew and it scared him, having to admit that he wasn't sure anymore about his own heart...

Lavi's eyes widened, but his shocked expression quickly changed to one of fatigue. "There you go, giving me hope again..." Lavi muttered to himself.

Allen turned to him, not having heard what he said, and froze when he saw the look of sadness in his friend's eyes.

Lavi looked right at Allen and said, "Allen, I'm going to ask you something. You have the right to accept it or not, but I want to let you know that these are my true feelings."

Allen looked a bit apprehensive as Lavi approached him, but still faced him head on.

Then Lavi did something unexpected. He reached up and brushed a stray hair away from Allen's face, then ran his fingers through the silver locks. Even more unexpected was that Allen didn't feel like pulling away. He didn't hate it. At all. But the most unexpected thing of all was what Lavi asked him next.

"What about me then?"

Instantly, Allen's mind flashed back to when he and Lavi first met.

So it was true...all this time...

Lavi had liked Allen this whole time, but Allen hadn't even noticed it. Actually, it was even worse than that. He had down right ignored and denied it. He didn't want to risk the friendship he and Lavi had, but...but now he was alone, and he wasn't so sure what to do anymore. Keep walking, he told himself, but in what direction? Towards what? Towards who? He wasn't sure anymore. And Lavi...he was comfortable with Lavi. Lavi hadn't said any of those things to him. Lavi was his friend. He wanted him to be happy. But could he be happy with Lavi?

There was only one way to know.

"Okay."

[Scene end.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> K: YOU ALL PROMISED NOT TO HATE ME  
> J: HOW FUCKING DARE YOU  
> K: I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON MY SIDE  
> J: RIP IN FUCKING PIECES YOU TRAITOR
> 
> note: we promise it gets better


End file.
